Reply #254: Buyer Beware: Most Nursing Homes are money-driven HELL HOLES...

[demodonkey]

...My 49 year old autistic (Asperger's) brother went in to a nursing home for therapy for a broken shoulder and ended up dead due to 2 drug-resistant infections he contracted while there. And this was with my being there almost daily to check on him and advocate for his needs.

Most nursing homes are understaffed, poorly managed, and have so-called "professionals" (social workers, therapists, etc. even doctors) completely willing to lie to protect their miserable jobs and the facility's bottom line. That's been my experience. You have to fight like hell for every little thing, and watch every little thing like a hawk. But don't let them catch you advocating too much or too hard for your loved one, or you'll find that these "professionals" will bluntly tell you there are "no beds available" should you need to change facilities or get another loved one in somewhere.

I have dealt with no less than SIX nursing homes for various family members over the last 4 years, so I know of what I speak. Some have been a bit better than others, but overall they made my family members' (and MY) life pure HELL.

It is not always avoidable to have someone go to a nursing home, but I wouldn't send a sick raccoon to a nursing home if there was ANY way I could avoid it, let alone a beloved human family member.

No one is an "asshole" for putting someone in a nursing home. Sometimes that is the only resort, or the best resort given circumstances. BUT -- if you ever have to have a loved one go into a nursing home, just remember BUYER BEWARE. Never EVER trust that ANYONE on the staff at ANY nursing home is on your side or is really, truly your loved one's friend. Absent a miracle employees will put their employer and job ahead of your family member, even if it means lying or dying are involved.