Reply #91: My cousin cared for my aunt in her home for years longer than she should have

[WolverineDG]

because of attitudes like that from her 4 of her 5 siblings, who btw never helped her out financially or physically (except for the 1). They even objected to a home-care attendant, even when my cousin could not physically lift my aunt up when she fell down, or help her in & out of bed, up the stairs, in the shower, etc. Finally, the doctor said she needed long-term care, & my cousin looked for the best place they could afford. Even after that, she still visited every day, took my aunt shopping & out for meals, & called several times a day. None of her other siblings (except for the 1 mentioned above) did anything but complain about how "heartless" my cousin was for "locking up mom" in a nursing home. It didn't help matters much that a few months after she moved to long-term care, my aunt passed away. Now the unhelpful sibs say things like "Mom would still be here if...." crap.

I should also mention during this time, my cousin didn't have a life, even though she has kids & a husband...she couldn't work outside the home or go to school....that's how much care my aunt needed towards the end.

So, yeah, if you're physically, financially, & emotionally able to care for your elder relatives, more power to you. But stop it with the guilt trips for those who can't.

dg