Reply #51: And that is something a lot of people don't understand...

[pipi_k]

that caregivers are under tremendous stress...often to the point that some of them end up dying before the people they're caring for.

I had my 93 year old MIL here for about five months back in 2005 after she broke her hip. Since I was the primary caregiver, I was terrified that I would end up getting sick myself and not be able to care for her.

We had to place her in a nursing home for about a month so we could get a bit of a respite. Once she got placed into a hospice program and the nurses were coming to the house all the time, I did get very sick, almost like my body felt it was now OK to do, since that was when the rest of the family finally stepped up and started coming over to help every single day. Anyway, I got sick, and didn't fully recover for a long time. I still suffer from partial deafness in my left ear from what I had.

People think it's so damned easy taking care of a someone with dementia or Alzheimers. Maybe they think you just lock them in a room someplace or tie them to a chair and that's it. In some respects it's almost worse than caring for a small child.

Anyway, someone upthread said it, and I'll add to the sentiment...anyone who thinks it's a fucking picnic being a caregiver and that it's not OK to put mom or dad or grandma in a nursing home, I certainly hope they get the chance to eat their words.

They'll never understand how difficult it is until they have to do it themselves.