Reply #13: Most people have never been in long term care, so it scares them.

[imdjh]

I have. Not nursing home care, but I have spent a great deal of time in the hospital. At sixteen I was in for about three months. At 36 I was in for a month and then had a month of recovery.

In both cases, my parents wore themselves out. They were there every day, for which I am grateful because it helps to have a healthy and authoritative person on your side against hospital staff, which can be presumptuous, pushy, indifferent, or sometimes mean though most are professional and kind. But they wore themselves out because they were both working all day and coming to the hospital all night and stuff like that.

ANYWAY, about being in the hospital for a long time- you get used to it. You get used to the routine, the predictability, the standards. When I came home from the hospital when I was 16, I found the house to be chaotic. The lack of schedule was emotionally disturbing to me. There were no nurses, no maids, no dietitians, no volunteers except for my entire family.

Yes, we would all love to die like Forest Gump's mother.... sitting up in bed, reading a book, and just feeling a bit tired after lunch. But in real life, you shit the bed and who wants to leave the family with that? Besides, these are not your grandma's nursing homes. As long as you are able, you can come and go as long as someone can get you around. And when you can't do that anymore, it's probably time.