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Reply #31: It is part of it [View All]

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Juche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-06-09 07:54 PM
Response to Reply #29
31. It is part of it
Edited on Fri Nov-06-09 07:56 PM by Juche
Here is my point:

1. Most people who have trouble with social skills and boundaries are likely harmless. Either they have been abused, or they are weird, or they are insecure/anxious, or they have an illness, etc.

2. Truly dangerous people know most people, when looking for red flags, are likely just looking for low social status, bad social skills and fear of strangers. So the truly dangerous know how to get around that. They have good social skills, high social status and they know how to make people feel comfortable with them. Most truly dangerous sexual predators go after people who they can make feel safe enough being alone with them. It is only when they have their prey isolated that they act. Truly dangerous people know how to groom their victims and how to avoid setting off alarms until it it too late.

3. It is offensive and hurtful to all of us who are weird to know that we are going to be labeled as rapists merely because of social awkwardness. It is doubly offensive and hurtful because some of us know the women who are labeling us as rapists and child molesters will be easy prey for the real predators out there, who know how to avoid setting off red flags. While these women pat themselves on the back for labeling every lonely person or person with Aspergers as a rapist, the real rapists would likely have little/no trouble getting them alone and vulnerable.

4. I have a history of mental illness, and I felt totally abandoned and forgotten when I was sick. And the illness made me awkward. Instead of seeing my awkwardness for what it was (a sign that I was confused and isolated) some people saw it as a threat and I felt even more isolated. Now that I'm much healthier, it is hard for me to trust that other people are competent and mature enough to deserve my friendship. And its hard to find people who I feel are competent, trustworthy, mature, compassionate and understanding enough to feel I can rely on them. And posts like the one I linked to brought those feelings of isolation up inside of me.

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  -Can we have a discussion on creepiness? Juche  Nov-06-09 02:43 PM   #0 
  - As you said, You'll regret posting this tomorrow when you're sober.  TexasObserver   Nov-06-09 02:44 PM   #1 
  - lol  Juche   Nov-06-09 02:48 PM   #3 
  - All I can say is you'd better lay off the booze.  virgogal   Nov-06-09 02:45 PM   #2 
  - Why  Juche   Nov-06-09 02:48 PM   #4 
  - Especially  TicketyBoo   Nov-06-09 02:55 PM   #9 
     - I have decent social skills  Juche   Nov-06-09 03:51 PM   #17 
        - I would think that someone  TicketyBoo   Nov-07-09 03:38 AM   #52 
           - I'll clarify  Juche   Nov-07-09 11:12 PM   #57 
  - Apparently someone doesn't fall into the Happy Drunk category  Stevenmarc   Nov-06-09 02:50 PM   #5 
  - #2 is probably quite true  treestar   Nov-06-09 02:51 PM   #6 
  - Interesting post -- I only had time to skim it but I think I understand your point  emulatorloo   Nov-06-09 02:52 PM   #7 
  - Of course we can!  lumberjack_jeff   Nov-06-09 02:54 PM   #8 
  - Thanks for editing the subject line.  lumberjack_jeff   Nov-06-09 06:11 PM   #25 
  - EVERY person needs to respect EVERY other person's boundaries, regardless of sex, sexual orientation  NYC_SKP   Nov-06-09 02:56 PM   #10 
  - The best way around it is discussion  Prism   Nov-06-09 02:57 PM   #11 
  - Ugh, I know all about the "confuse social awkwardness with being dangerous" thing.  Odin2005   Nov-06-09 02:58 PM   #12 
  - You've got aspergers, right?  Juche   Nov-06-09 03:25 PM   #16 
     - Yes, Asperger's  Odin2005   Nov-06-09 07:57 PM   #32 
     - Intriguing words to describe people: "competent", "useful", "useless".  TwilightGardener   Nov-06-09 08:00 PM   #33 
        - I'm bitter  Juche   Nov-06-09 08:24 PM   #35 
           - Well, maybe people pick up on that bitterness. And anger.  TwilightGardener   Nov-06-09 08:41 PM   #37 
              - I am working on that  Juche   Nov-06-09 10:08 PM   #42 
                 - I'd guess that most people are afraid of ending up alone, or sick and alone--  TwilightGardener   Nov-07-09 12:04 AM   #49 
                 - I have met people who can give me what I want  Juche   Nov-07-09 01:07 AM   #51 
                 - The simple fact is  TicketyBoo   Nov-07-09 03:51 AM   #53 
  - Maybe your just an introvert.  ipfilter   Nov-06-09 03:06 PM   #13 
  - I'm slightly extroverted  Juche   Nov-06-09 08:31 PM   #36 
  - you're right. it's true. don't regret expressing the truth.  Hannah Bell   Nov-06-09 03:10 PM   #14 
  - K&R  ZombieHorde   Nov-06-09 03:17 PM   #15 
  - Thank you....  NYC_SKP   Nov-06-09 05:37 PM   #18 
  - People who have been abused also are predisposed to react with alarm  redqueen   Nov-06-09 05:59 PM   #20 
  - True, this too, is something about which many are not aware.  NYC_SKP   Nov-06-09 06:47 PM   #27 
  - I'm sorry if I was offensive  Juche   Nov-06-09 06:26 PM   #26 
     - Those people that said that us Aspies are potential rapists are assholes!  Odin2005   Nov-06-09 08:04 PM   #34 
  - Did you notice this reply?  Boojatta   Nov-06-09 05:52 PM   #19 
  - Those 'fast seduction' sites already teach the bad men how to do this.  redqueen   Nov-06-09 06:01 PM   #21 
  - I posted it because it initially seemed to express a point of view  Boojatta   Nov-06-09 06:10 PM   #24 
  - Another reply puts forward a counter-argument:  Boojatta   Nov-06-09 06:02 PM   #22 
  - A drunken, worthwhile post.  coti   Nov-06-09 06:08 PM   #23 
  - you make an awful lot of sense for a person who is drunk  liberal_at_heart   Nov-06-09 07:06 PM   #28 
  - I have no idea what that is like  Juche   Nov-06-09 07:47 PM   #30 
     - men really don't understand and can't relate to... true that. i have a brother 6'3", muscular  seabeyond   Nov-06-09 08:52 PM   #38 
        - "Stupid to be afraid of stuff, or some such rot..."  AllenVanAllen   Nov-07-09 12:48 AM   #50 
  - "So I was reading this post and all the replies to it."  Boojatta   Nov-06-09 07:45 PM   #29 
  - It is part of it  Juche   Nov-06-09 07:54 PM   #31 
     - very interesting stuff. it took me reading a lot of yours posts to get a feel for what you are  seabeyond   Nov-06-09 09:06 PM   #40 
  - When it comes to people, it's really a crapshoot.  Gwendolyn   Nov-06-09 08:56 PM   #39 
  - I am socially awkward. I have no doubt many people over the years have considered me "creepy."  Withywindle   Nov-06-09 09:12 PM   #41 
  - Don't let that site get you down  Mixopterus   Nov-06-09 11:12 PM   #43 
  - whats a third wave feminist? nt  seabeyond   Nov-06-09 11:14 PM   #44 
     - It's a feminist movement  Mixopterus   Nov-06-09 11:20 PM   #45 
        - You know, I never bothered to even check the source  Juche   Nov-06-09 11:29 PM   #46 
        - Common mistake, don't sweat it  Mixopterus   Nov-06-09 11:43 PM   #48 
        - interesting. i just googled it. you have it  seabeyond   Nov-06-09 11:29 PM   #47 
  - You are not alone. You're a single 30-year-old guy -- there's many of us far LESS socially awkward  smalll   Nov-07-09 03:57 AM   #54 
  - Here is another thing to think about.  TicketyBoo   Nov-07-09 04:12 AM   #55 
  - I think people are misinterpreting things a bit  Juche   Nov-07-09 01:29 PM   #56 
     - I'm not sure anyone  TicketyBoo   Nov-08-09 12:25 AM   #58 

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