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Reply #101: You have reminded me of the LETTER FROM A VERMONT MOTHER [View All]

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Martin Eden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 09:05 PM
Response to Original message
101. You have reminded me of the LETTER FROM A VERMONT MOTHER
What she wrote and what you wrote are truth and beauty, despite (or because of) the ugliness you expose in others.

This editorial is from Sunday's Concord Monitor.
Sunday, April 30, 2000
By Sharon Underwood
For the Valley News (White River Junction, VT/Hanover, NH)

As the mother of a gay son, I've seen firsthand how cruel and misguided people can be.

Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people.

I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny. My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay. He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other
boys. He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6.

In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that.

At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don't know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty
that it is inborn.

If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters."

You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda" could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.

He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man.

You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance. How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage.

You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin. The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing" asks: "What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?"

Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?
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  -I'm straight, I'm pissed, and I can't stand the hate anymore. givemebackmycountry  Nov-04-09 02:15 AM   #0 
  - Awfully glad you didn't delete it...  villager   Nov-04-09 02:18 AM   #1 
  - Also VERY glad you did not delete this!  JaneFordA   Nov-04-09 10:07 AM   #44 
  - I have stayed single in protest...because my gay friends cannot marry  HipChick   Nov-04-09 02:44 AM   #2 
  - you are awesome! thx  Divine Discontent   Nov-04-09 02:49 AM   #4 
  - Thank you so much for your integrity. (Saluting). n/t  greeneyedboy   Nov-04-09 05:40 PM   #90 
  - thank you for standing up for Lydia in your daily beliefs. Best to you! :)  Divine Discontent   Nov-04-09 02:46 AM   #3 
  - SO glad you posted this  underseasurveyor   Nov-04-09 02:51 AM   #5 
  - Recommend  TexasObserver   Nov-04-09 03:28 AM   #6 
  - Recommended.  Heidi   Nov-04-09 03:36 AM   #7 
  - Thanks  Bluenorthwest   Nov-04-09 06:48 AM   #8 
  - K&R  Toasterlad   Nov-04-09 06:58 AM   #9 
  - and again  gtar100   Nov-05-09 01:03 AM   #113 
  - I, for one am glad you didn't delete this...  rasputin1952   Nov-04-09 07:47 AM   #10 
  - Don't forget "where is our President Obama when we need him most?" As always he  bertman   Nov-04-09 08:00 AM   #13 
     - I can't blame this on Obama...  rasputin1952   Nov-04-09 08:30 AM   #23 
     - I don't BLAME President Obama either. But I do think he has shown a particularly  bertman   Nov-04-09 11:03 AM   #55 
     - HELLO !!!......  backtomn   Nov-04-09 10:18 PM   #110 
     - Bullshit. He could have endorsed equal rights under the law  Jax   Nov-04-09 02:40 PM   #79 
        - He has endorsed ER's for everyone...  rasputin1952   Nov-04-09 04:07 PM   #82 
     - At moments when things like your comment appear, I remember how the  truedelphi   Nov-04-09 12:46 PM   #68 
     - where is our President Obama?  123m456h789d   Nov-05-09 08:53 AM   #116 
  - Thank you. K&R  qb   Nov-04-09 07:49 AM   #11 
  - K&R  Arkansas Granny   Nov-04-09 07:50 AM   #12 
  - Thank you.  Lancer   Nov-04-09 08:06 AM   #14 
  - powerful as hell. i hope everyone reads this.  Soylent Brice   Nov-04-09 08:09 AM   #15 
  - This is the best post I've read on DU in a long time  SallyMander   Nov-04-09 08:16 AM   #16 
  - +1 nt.  titoresque   Nov-04-09 10:10 PM   #108 
  - Recommended and so glad you posted this. I have gay friends who died of broken hearts.  NoSheep   Nov-04-09 08:16 AM   #17 
  - Lydia seemed to be a very cool person  SlingBlade   Nov-04-09 08:16 AM   #18 
  - Great post. You are a fine person  Ishoutandscream2   Nov-04-09 08:17 AM   #19 
  - You're good by me.  kdpeters   Nov-04-09 08:18 AM   #20 
  - K&R.  Brickbat   Nov-04-09 08:19 AM   #21 
  - I too am missing someone  handmade34   Nov-04-09 08:20 AM   #22 
  - K&R: I am questioning my reply to this but here goes.  tinkerbell41   Nov-04-09 08:49 AM   #24 
  - You shouldn't question your reply...  rasputin1952   Nov-04-09 08:58 AM   #27 
  - Sometimes revealing personal info to strangers takes some thought.  tinkerbell41   Nov-04-09 10:13 AM   #46 
  - That doesn't surprise me at all. One of my gay friends is still very close friends  gkhouston   Nov-04-09 09:17 AM   #32 
  - i have a similar situation...sort of  noiretextatique   Nov-04-09 06:51 PM   #94 
     - I don't know what to say.  tinkerbell41   Nov-05-09 08:07 AM   #115 
        - you are right: the connection is with the person  noiretextatique   Nov-05-09 01:23 PM   #118 
  - A BIG K&R  proReality   Nov-04-09 08:53 AM   #25 
  - Wow. That was powerful. k&r  FourScore   Nov-04-09 08:57 AM   #26 
  - I am happy to read your  Enthusiast   Nov-04-09 09:00 AM   #28 
  - I am upset as well  get the red out   Nov-04-09 09:01 AM   #29 
  - I agree. Why the hell are we voting on RIGHTS? Aren't RIGHTS inherent? This is a travesty .  DrZeeLit   Nov-04-09 09:26 AM   #36 
     - The civil rights of all are inherent!  Kajsa   Nov-04-09 10:12 AM   #45 
        - You're right. that IGNORANCE (exactly the word in all ways) is amazing, simply amazing.  DrZeeLit   Nov-04-09 05:12 PM   #88 
        - I'm not done either, Dr.ZeeLit.  Kajsa   Nov-05-09 09:32 AM   #117 
        - "abolish it", because if one right is not a right, then any right is not a right.  patrice   Nov-04-09 07:53 PM   #98 
  - I love DU for posts like this and posters like you. K & R nt  glitch   Nov-04-09 09:06 AM   #30 
  - Another K&R from someone who is very, very glad you didn't delete this.  Berry Cool   Nov-04-09 09:15 AM   #31 
  - EXCELLENT post.  Mrs. Overall   Nov-04-09 09:21 AM   #33 
  - Beautiful. "You're good by me" too. nt  Lex   Nov-04-09 09:22 AM   #34 
  - I'm glad you posted this.....Thanks  DWilliamsamh   Nov-04-09 09:24 AM   # 
  - It is simply criminal to enforce this stupidity on people who only want to  juajen   Nov-04-09 09:24 AM   #35 
  - I've come to the conclusion that many people are simply stupid.  chrisa   Nov-04-09 11:03 AM   #57 
  - .  Beetwasher   Nov-04-09 09:26 AM   #37 
  - "Good on you" for posting your thoughts.  Frustratedlady   Nov-04-09 09:26 AM   #38 
  - I'm crying with you  lunatica   Nov-04-09 09:28 AM   #39 
  - Thank you for posting this  Torn_Scorned_Ignored   Nov-04-09 09:31 AM   #40 
  - *sniff*  redqueen   Nov-04-09 09:40 AM   #41 
  - Thank you for sharing this.  Mad_Dem_X   Nov-04-09 09:59 AM   #42 
  - K & R.  freddie mertz   Nov-04-09 10:02 AM   #43 
  - Thank you so much for posting this.  lightningandsnow   Nov-04-09 10:15 AM   #47 
  - knr!~  tekisui   Nov-04-09 10:18 AM   #48 
  - I am straight and so fucking angry, too.  Arugula Latte   Nov-04-09 10:18 AM   #49 
  - I wish I could rec this 1000 times.  Flying Dream Blues   Nov-04-09 10:18 AM   #50 
  - This was a wonderful post  GCP   Nov-04-09 10:29 AM   #51 
  - Thank you, givemebackmycountry!  jesus_of_suburbia   Nov-04-09 10:29 AM   #52 
  - "Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged!"  Giterdun   Nov-04-09 10:40 AM   #53 
  - I'm wondering if a day will come when LGBT rights will be non negotiable?  Politicub   Nov-04-09 10:52 AM   #54 
  - what a great post  DontTreadOnMe   Nov-04-09 11:03 AM   #56 
  - Beautiful! Thanks for sharing this! n/t  The Midway Rebel   Nov-04-09 11:13 AM   #58 
  - It's not just gay hate,  Hatchling   Nov-04-09 11:19 AM   #59 
  - Some people suck; especially the bigots  LittleGirl   Nov-04-09 11:28 AM   #60 
  - good stuff  Gedankenaustausch   Nov-04-09 11:33 AM   #61 
  - I just reread your post...  TuxedoKat   Nov-04-09 11:59 AM   #62 
  - K&R  stevenleser   Nov-04-09 12:20 PM   #63 
  - Bump for justice. We'll all make it down the road together some day soon. nt  cecilfirefox   Nov-04-09 12:23 PM   #64 
  - I think I am different, and so is everybody else  hfojvt   Nov-04-09 12:27 PM   #65 
  - Awesome post!! Glad you avoided the delete button. nt.  Parker CA   Nov-04-09 12:32 PM   #66 
  - i live a pretty insular world: a black and gay world  noiretextatique   Nov-04-09 12:39 PM   #67 
  - I am with you....time for the hate to go away....  winyanstaz   Nov-04-09 01:09 PM   #69 
  - Kick and Rec  theFrankFactor   Nov-04-09 01:09 PM   #70 
  - Thank you for writing this.  SeattleGirl   Nov-04-09 01:20 PM   #71 
  - want you to know....  bgolden   Nov-04-09 01:32 PM   #72 
  - K&R  onestepforward   Nov-04-09 01:36 PM   #73 
  - Damn awesome post!  blueamy66   Nov-04-09 01:46 PM   #74 
  - I'd like to see people go after the tax exempt status of the Catholic & Mormon church  Miss_Underestimated   Nov-04-09 01:48 PM   #75 
  - Wow. n/t  WoodyD   Nov-04-09 02:07 PM   #76 
  - I'm straight, I'm pissed and I'm tired of the majority - including a good many people at DU -  dflprincess   Nov-04-09 02:21 PM   #77 
  - Enough!  Doc Martin   Nov-04-09 10:01 PM   #104 
  - K&R +++  Cetacea   Nov-04-09 02:38 PM   #78 
  - K&R  Zoeisright   Nov-04-09 03:08 PM   #80 
  - K and R  izzybeans   Nov-04-09 03:52 PM   #81 
  - outstanding post!! thank you for taking the time to write this.  jonnyblitz   Nov-04-09 04:08 PM   #83 
  - Kick....because it needs to be everyone.  BrklynLiberal   Nov-04-09 04:15 PM   #84 
  - Thanks for sharing givemebackmycountry.  Uncle Joe   Nov-04-09 04:29 PM   #85 
  - Thanks for not deleting it  Autonomy   Nov-04-09 04:46 PM   #86 
  - You simply are amazing! It's people like you that keep me at the DU.  David Zephyr   Nov-04-09 05:08 PM   #87 
  - keep ranting, we need more, some of us feel the same way  demigoddess   Nov-04-09 05:24 PM   #89 
  - Your heart is perfect  proud2BlibKansan   Nov-04-09 05:48 PM   #91 
  - Thank you Proud. That means so much to me.  givemebackmycountry   Nov-04-09 08:22 PM   #100 
  - K&R!  me b zola   Nov-04-09 06:13 PM   #92 
  - So poignant and true  mrs premise   Nov-04-09 06:31 PM   #93 
  - Thanks  undergroundpanther   Nov-04-09 07:16 PM   #95 
  - Thanks for not deleting this!! I'm sick of the Hate and Fear too.  patrice   Nov-04-09 07:48 PM   #96 
  - Bookmarked, kicked, recommended  varelse   Nov-04-09 07:52 PM   #97 
  - Well written, heartfelt, grammatically clean, beautifully composed; K&R  slackmaster   Nov-04-09 07:55 PM   #99 
  - You have reminded me of the LETTER FROM A VERMONT MOTHER  Martin Eden   Nov-04-09 09:05 PM   #101 
  - Wow! Hell of a letter...  rasputin1952   Nov-04-09 10:04 PM   #105 
  - k & R  donheld   Nov-04-09 09:54 PM   #102 
  - This gay man thanks you  Doc Martin   Nov-04-09 10:00 PM   #103 
  - Kick and 300th Rec. Good thing you didn't delete. nt  Hekate   Nov-04-09 10:05 PM   #106 
  - thanks, dude  ruggerson   Nov-04-09 10:06 PM   #107 
  - getting angrier by the day... at american "un"exceptionalism  Agony   Nov-04-09 10:11 PM   #109 
  - K&R!  Kitty Herder   Nov-04-09 10:48 PM   #111 
  - Thank you for posting this. I feel bad for gays in Maine but happy for those in Washington  rhett o rick   Nov-04-09 11:18 PM   #112 
  - The body is made up of 12 inorganic cell salts and when mixed with the organic  earcandle   Nov-05-09 01:40 AM   #114 

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