Reply #20: I hope you will see how trying to change how someone feels is controlling.

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I hope you will look at that, because believe me, it robs people of all that we really have in life... our thoughts and our feelings.

There are two good books on this that I hope you will take the opportunity to read through... I think either will give you a different view, but better... will help you to know how to really help others, and build peace on a personal level.

Parent Effectiveness Training, by Thomas Gordon. An old book now, it really helped me learn new ways of listening when my son was little. The chapter on Active Listening is powerful.

The Good Listener, by James E. Sullivan. This one is much newer, and goes into more detail. It's a small book, quick to read, yet it answers so many questions, and helps people practice a new skill. It has god-talk in it, but the material is right on.