Reply #12: The Tony Perkins Version of the Bible:

[OswegoAtheist]

Matthew 4:23 - And Jesus went about all Galilee, collecting speaking fees from their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the Republican Party, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people, save those who were uninsured, had pre-existing conditions (known or unknown), failed to fill out their insurance applications 100% correctly, or were in Galilee illegally.

Matthew 9:2 - And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing that he was sick of the palsy; Son, understand this; thy condition preventeth thee from being of the insured, as it was of the pre-existing.

Matthew 9:12 - But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, and shall be given unto them the insurance, but they that are sick are clearly too lazy to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Matthew 14:14 - And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, but was moved with campaign donations from the Pharisees, and he healed their sick not.

Oswego "Original Sin is a pre-existing condition, but Jesus still offers insurance" Atheist