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Reply #57: Many of the people I graduated with in 1973 think I'm a lesbian. [View All]

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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Donate to DU! Sun Jul-19-09 09:06 PM
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57. Many of the people I graduated with in 1973 think I'm a lesbian.
Started in 1971, when I shared a locker with my best friend. Her boyfriend was jealous of our friendship (oh, those dramatic days of high school), and complained to one of HIS friends about it. This friend, Karen, decided that the way to punish me for that friendship was to spread the word that I was a lesbian.

Lots and lots of people bought into that, and after she did that, when I walked down the hallway, it was like the red sea parting in front of me. Some of the girls would literally gasp in horror if they brushed against me in the hallway. Obviously, they were afraid of catching teh gay.

It didn't hurt to be called a lesbian; my mom had a number of lesbian friends from work, and I had been around them most of my life. No, what hurt was to be treated as if I had some disease. It hurt to be scoffed at and laughed at. It hurt to see people turning their backs on me. It hurt that with being given a label, some people took it as license to treat me like shit.

Today, if that happened, I'd probably put a smack down on them, again, not for calling me what they consider a bad name, but for how they treated me because of it. In 1971, I was incredibly shy, and mostly tried to be invisible. After the rumor started, it was hard to stay invisible.

I know that my experience in those long-ago days doesn't come close to what many in the GLBT community go through every day. But I think it gave me a small glimpse of what it's like to be treated like shit just because of who you are.
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  A question for heterosexual DU women Neecy  Jul-19-09 07:54 PM   #0 
   Yes, quite common.  HeresyLives   Jul-19-09 07:56 PM   #1 
   LOL  havocmom   Jul-19-09 08:00 PM   #4 
   Take a number -  Tangerine LaBamba   Jul-19-09 08:18 PM   #22 
      remind me to tell you about wayward's days of going to gay clubs to dance un-harassed  havocmom   Jul-19-09 08:23 PM   #29 
      That's what I used to do!  Tangerine LaBamba   Jul-19-09 08:27 PM   #34 
         LOL You and Wayward should get together and tell tales  havocmom   Jul-19-09 08:35 PM   #43 
         The Pier 9?  Virginian   Jul-19-09 11:08 PM   #114 
            Tracks?  WorseBeforeBetter   Jul-20-09 12:33 AM   #129 
            Remember Annie's Paramount Steak House?  Tangerine LaBamba   Jul-20-09 01:17 AM   #134 
               Oh, yeah. Just read some reviews on WaPo....  WorseBeforeBetter   Jul-20-09 09:44 AM   #153 
                  Bob and Edith's is EXACTLY the same!  Tangerine LaBamba   Jul-20-09 12:36 PM   #161 
                     Kewl!  WorseBeforeBetter   Jul-20-09 01:37 PM   #164 
                        WHITEY'S!!!  Tangerine LaBamba   Jul-20-09 03:38 PM   #168 
            I remember Pier 9!  Tangerine LaBamba   Jul-20-09 01:14 AM   #132 
               You used to go to Tracks DC?!  Behind the Aegis   Jul-20-09 02:02 AM   #137 
                  It was a wonderful place -  Tangerine LaBamba   Jul-20-09 12:37 PM   #162 
      It's always the one we wouldn't touch  Missy Vixen   Jul-19-09 08:26 PM   #31 
         Isn't it ironic, oh, she of the trampy name,  Tangerine LaBamba   Jul-19-09 08:29 PM   #38 
   I sometimes wonder why some guys' heads don't explode from the contradictions within  Hello_Kitty   Jul-19-09 08:02 PM   #11 
   Oh god yes, been there many times  varelse   Jul-19-09 08:52 PM   #55 
   same here....took interest in science, politics, technology, aviation....  Triana   Jul-19-09 11:43 PM   #123 
   My daughter does not look much like me. Yeah, there have been times....  havocmom   Jul-19-09 07:58 PM   #2 
   OMG. I thought I was the only one!  stanwyck   Jul-20-09 10:43 AM   #157 
   i was in high school  fizzgig   Jul-19-09 07:59 PM   #3 
   Not to me, but I am a good deal older. I am married, but my husband does not  CTyankee   Jul-19-09 08:00 PM   #5 
   I used to drive a Subaru...I must have been gay.  Tuesday Afternoon   Jul-19-09 08:00 PM   #6 
   LOL - me too (miss that car!)  JerseygirlCT   Jul-19-09 08:11 PM   #16 
   Deja vu JG!  Jazzgirl   Jul-19-09 08:42 PM   #48 
   Still have my Subaru.  boobooday   Jul-19-09 08:20 PM   #26 
   my at the time teenaged son called ours a hippy lesbian car. his gay aunt,  ourbluenation   Jul-19-09 10:33 PM   #90 
   I drive a Subaru! And I'm not especially girly.  grace0418   Jul-19-09 11:22 PM   #121 
   I've never had that happen...  CaliforniaPeggy   Jul-19-09 08:00 PM   #7 
   No ...  Esurientes   Jul-19-09 08:01 PM   #8 
   Never experience that. Been called an  amyrose2712   Jul-19-09 08:01 PM   #9 
   On looks alone, yes.  Lars39   Jul-19-09 08:01 PM   #10 
   I have been shaving my head for the last 14 years.  Jazzgirl   Jul-19-09 08:44 PM   #50 
      Right on!  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:50 PM   #105 
      It was the best haircut I ever had!  Lars39   Jul-19-09 11:12 PM   #115 
      Cool.I love a chick with a shaved head.  amyrose2712   Jul-20-09 01:27 PM   #163 
   Back in the early days of the internet..posting liberal views were met w/ "you must be a fat lesbian  Liberal_in_LA   Jul-19-09 08:03 PM   #12 
   With lots of cats. Don't forget the cats!  QC   Jul-19-09 08:36 PM   #46 
      HAHAHA  noamnety   Jul-19-09 11:00 PM   #109 
      It is best not to delve too deeply into the right wing mind,. n/t  QC   Jul-19-09 11:18 PM   #118 
         "It is best not to delve too deeply into the right wing mind"  KansDem   Jul-20-09 11:36 AM   #160 
      Female + Liberal + cats = Lesbian  Liberal_in_LA   Jul-20-09 02:59 AM   #140 
   I live in a small rural county in Ohio, mostly Republican, and this  A Brand New World   Jul-19-09 08:04 PM   #13 
   Nope. Never happened to me. nt  JerseygirlCT   Jul-19-09 08:10 PM   #14 
   Occasionally. If you turn certain guys down, they believe you MUST be gay.  Gwendolyn   Jul-19-09 08:11 PM   #15 
   retorts for "uppity" women on message boards...  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 08:27 PM   #32 
      Haha... yes, that's a pretty good list!  Gwendolyn   Jul-19-09 08:50 PM   #53 
         I hear you....lol!  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:03 PM   #70 
         Mmmmm. Communist lesbians.  Chulanowa   Jul-19-09 10:47 PM   #103 
   I've never been called an anti-gay slur, but  ezgoingrl   Jul-19-09 08:12 PM   #17 
   Yes.  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 08:13 PM   #18 
   Most definitely.  cbayerDU Moderator   Jul-19-09 08:16 PM   #19 
   You tell them, "I'm bisexual and I'm not attracted to you."  Ian David   Jul-19-09 08:17 PM   #20 
   These days....  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 08:28 PM   #37 
   Which makes the revenge all the sweeter for you when you tell them, "No." n/t  Ian David   Jul-19-09 08:49 PM   #52 
   And they do... often  TorchTheWitch   Jul-20-09 07:49 AM   #145 
      You got that right! nt  raccoon   Jul-20-09 09:05 AM   #151 
   Even better...just say you don't do pity sex and wiggle your pinkie at him.  Behind the Aegis   Jul-20-09 02:04 AM   #138 
   From just today:  noamnety   Jul-19-09 08:18 PM   #21 
   Yes. When I was in college I went to Mardi Gras with a female  alsame   Jul-19-09 08:18 PM   #23 
   Oh, yeah.  madamesilverspurs   Jul-19-09 08:18 PM   #24 
   "...hasn't shaved his teeth for at least a week."  SeattleGirl   Jul-19-09 09:13 PM   #58 
   "shaved his teeth"!  TorchTheWitch   Jul-20-09 03:32 AM   #141 
   No, it hasn't happened to me  Mz Pip   Jul-19-09 08:19 PM   #25 
   The only time this happened to me was when I was in a gay bar....  Hepburn   Jul-19-09 08:20 PM   #27 
   Same here. My best friend from college is a lesbian and whenever we go out  Mrs. Overall   Jul-20-09 11:12 AM   #159 
   No. I've never had this happen.  Starry Messenger   Jul-19-09 08:21 PM   #28 
   no  Skittles   Jul-19-09 08:24 PM   #30 
   About ten years ago I lived in a small town where I and a lesbian lady  jwirr   Jul-19-09 08:27 PM   #33 
   Its happened  etherealtruth   Jul-19-09 08:27 PM   #35 
   Grrrrr...  joey5150   Jul-19-09 08:28 PM   #36 
   Never over sex but over spending time with other women.  EFerrari   Jul-19-09 08:31 PM   #39 
   if you turn a guy down, ..... handful of times. seems to be the knee jerk comment  seabeyond   Jul-19-09 08:32 PM   #40 
   I don't know how common it is.......  gleaner   Jul-19-09 08:33 PM   #41 
   My father always made those kind of remarks about single women from their mid-twenties on up.  Kceres   Jul-19-09 08:34 PM   #42 
   I'm a man, but I sadly have seen more than one woman 'insulted' this way  unpossibles   Jul-19-09 08:35 PM   #44 
   Yes.  Jazzgirl   Jul-19-09 08:36 PM   #45 
   I dare say most single professional women over a certain age  hlthe2b   Jul-19-09 08:39 PM   #47 
   I haven't had it happen, but I've wondered whenever  CakeGrrl   Jul-19-09 08:42 PM   #49 
   No, but I have had some men react badly because I have gay male friends  csziggy   Jul-19-09 08:47 PM   #51 
   Yes, many times  varelse   Jul-19-09 08:50 PM   #54 
   Often, guys will call you a "lesbo"  AnnieBW   Jul-19-09 08:58 PM   #56 
   how can you not want to get with this, babeeee?!  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:20 PM   #79 
   Or they call women "sluts", which is ironic as they just chose NOT to sleep with the guy.  Forkboy   Jul-19-09 10:30 PM   #86 
      haha...true....  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:34 PM   #91 
   Many of the people I graduated with in 1973 think I'm a lesbian.  SeattleGirl   Jul-19-09 09:06 PM   #57 
   yes when i was young....  Mari333   Jul-19-09 09:18 PM   #59 
   Barney Frank thought my friend and I were a gay couple -  phillysuse   Jul-19-09 09:39 PM   #60 
   I have, my kid thought it hilarious (was in 3rd grade) when another kid called me a slur  uppityperson   Jul-19-09 09:41 PM   #61 
   a child...?  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:39 PM   #95 
   No, but I've been off the market for 17 years. nt  Ilsa   Jul-19-09 09:42 PM   #62 
   Ha!  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:10 PM   #73 
   Yes, yes and no.  MuseRider   Jul-19-09 09:49 PM   #63 
   Yeah, I've been accused of being a lesbian  pipi_k   Jul-19-09 09:52 PM   #64 
   I got called a "fucking dyke" and going to hell by a ten year old counterprotester at a prop 8 demo.  LeftyMom   Jul-19-09 09:53 PM   #65 
   wow.  Neecy   Jul-19-09 10:01 PM   #69 
   I ignored it. That family's well known locally for what they do, and the cops were asking us all to  LeftyMom   Jul-19-09 10:13 PM   #75 
   that's beyond messed up.  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:13 PM   #74 
   The family's basically the Phelpses without the law degrees or travel budget.  LeftyMom   Jul-19-09 10:15 PM   #76 
      omg.  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:22 PM   #80 
      That is a funny description "without the law degrees or travel budget"  uppityperson   Jul-19-09 10:58 PM   #108 
   Yikes.  noamnety   Jul-19-09 11:08 PM   #113 
   that question is really  Gabi Hayes   Jul-19-09 09:57 PM   #66 
   btw, I've been asked if I was gay by several different kids at schools in  Gabi Hayes   Jul-19-09 10:01 PM   #68 
      wow!  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:30 PM   #87 
   I had a roommate in college spread a rumor I was a lesbian.  jmm   Jul-19-09 10:00 PM   #67 
   Holy crap!  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:06 PM   #72 
      I never had much luck with roommates.  jmm   Jul-20-09 12:58 AM   #131 
   By other straight women . . . !  tilsammans   Jul-19-09 10:06 PM   #71 
   i hear that a lot.  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:27 PM   #83 
   Not particularly  MissB   Jul-19-09 10:16 PM   #77 
   No.  woo me with science   Jul-19-09 10:19 PM   #78 
   Back in the days when I was a medic, that happened ONCE  nadinbrzezinski   Jul-19-09 10:23 PM   #81 
   Yes. but have no problem with it, cause I don't consider it an insult.  unapatriciated   Jul-19-09 10:23 PM   #82 
   I'm a man, and this happens a LOT to men as well --  smalll   Jul-19-09 10:28 PM   #84 
   you know, I'm sorry I didn't ask this  Neecy   Jul-19-09 10:34 PM   #92 
   not too late to create a separate poll...  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:45 PM   #101 
      okey dokey  Neecy   Jul-19-09 10:49 PM   #104 
         We probably do...  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:51 PM   #106 
            wow  Neecy   Jul-20-09 12:03 AM   #126 
               Patriarchy constrains everyone...  bliss_eternal   Jul-20-09 12:34 AM   #130 
   i'm really pissed at south park for bringing that back.  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:41 PM   #97 
   (self-delete -- duplicate post.) /nt  smalll   Jul-19-09 10:28 PM   #85 
   Many times  DKRC   Jul-19-09 10:31 PM   #88 
   Yup. Heck, my own dad thought I was a lesbian for years.  knitter4democracy   Jul-19-09 10:31 PM   #89 
   True...  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:38 PM   #93 
      Well, a new hairdresser cut my hair short in middle school.  knitter4democracy   Jul-19-09 10:44 PM   #100 
         Ah...ok.  bliss_eternal   Jul-19-09 10:47 PM   #102 
   I've only had it happen when I turned down a guy.  distantearlywarning   Jul-19-09 10:38 PM   #94 
   don't know how common it is but it semi frequently happened to me in olden times  pitohui   Jul-19-09 10:40 PM   #96 
   No, I haven't, but I've heard gossip that other women are, from men...  Rhiannon12866   Jul-19-09 10:43 PM   #98 
   jokingly perhaps  shanti   Jul-19-09 10:44 PM   #99 
   Yep, my Mom and I still laugh about the time we were walking together...  TygrBrightDU Moderator   Jul-19-09 10:54 PM   #107 
   no, not at all.  inna   Jul-19-09 11:00 PM   #110 
   Yes. I don't wear make up and wear sensible shoes. Yep. nt  Captain Hilts   Jul-19-09 11:01 PM   #111 
   I have felt threatened for being a female, period. ...  Hekate   Jul-19-09 11:06 PM   #112 
   No, no one has ever suggested that I am/ was a lesbian  Lorien   Jul-19-09 11:14 PM   #116 
   Deleted message  Name removed   Jul-19-09 11:17 PM   #117 
   I haven't, but I know female athletes who get that all the time. nt  tblue37   Jul-19-09 11:19 PM   #119 
   you all are terrific  Neecy   Jul-19-09 11:21 PM   #120 
   Not experienced it but being somewhat of a tomboy, older, unpartnered...  Triana   Jul-19-09 11:41 PM   #122 
   Yes, a number of times.  Dappleganger   Jul-19-09 11:46 PM   #124 
   it is common  dogsmycopilot   Jul-19-09 11:49 PM   #125 
   I love the WNBA and my Phoenix Mercury. Clubbing afterwards is sometimes a pain, though.  blondeatlast   Jul-20-09 12:24 AM   #127 
   When my daughter was in her teens  rhiannon55   Jul-20-09 12:33 AM   #128 
   Haven't read all the replies but will pitch in my story  Shanti Mama   Jul-20-09 01:16 AM   #133 
   No, and  shimmergal   Jul-20-09 01:51 AM   #135 
   or you could present it actually the way it was presented in the thread you're referring to.  omega minimo   Jul-20-09 02:02 AM   #136 
   I did  Neecy   Jul-20-09 10:30 AM   #154 
      no you didn't  omega minimo   Jul-20-09 10:35 AM   #155 
         Uh-huh  Neecy   Jul-20-09 10:57 AM   #158 
   Old school goth and male here, so I used to frequently wear make-up  Norrin Radd   Jul-20-09 02:24 AM   #139 
   the opposite really  TorchTheWitch   Jul-20-09 03:46 AM   #142 
   Doe bisexual count?  eridani   Jul-20-09 03:51 AM   #143 
   Funny thing is that  Politicalboi   Jul-20-09 04:47 AM   #144 
   No. I live in Vermont.  cali   Jul-20-09 07:53 AM   #146 
   No - I used to live in Vermont and now I live in NH.  Vinca   Jul-20-09 08:05 AM   #147 
   Yes I was harassed by a guy once called me names like that  alarimer   Jul-20-09 08:12 AM   #148 
   I haven't been called any slurs  Berry Cool   Jul-20-09 08:45 AM   #149 
   Yes. I have been called a lesbian and  Phentex   Jul-20-09 08:46 AM   #150 
   Never had that experience.  salin   Jul-20-09 09:35 AM   #152 
   I've had guy "friends" poke fun at me when I hang out with another chick.  backtoblue   Jul-20-09 10:39 AM   #156 
   No but the other day someone used an anti-gay slur to describe Michael Jackson  applegrove   Jul-20-09 01:42 PM   #165 
   Oh yes.  redqueen   Jul-20-09 01:45 PM   #166 
   Not yet  AspenRose   Jul-20-09 01:56 PM   #167 
 

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