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Reply #156: Yep... lots of people in this thread apparently have no desire whatsoever to be monogamous. [View All]

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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-09-09 09:32 AM
Response to Reply #9
156. Yep... lots of people in this thread apparently have no desire whatsoever to be monogamous.
And wish to foist that behavior onto the entire human race.

It'd be funny if it wasn't such a tired, tired act.
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  -"Cheating" is a propaganda term for strict or jealous monogamists. JackRiddler  May-08-09 12:34 PM   #0 
  - Well, you don't.  aquart   May-08-09 12:35 PM   #1 
  - It's not cheating if the partner knows and either doesn't care or enjoys it  Taverner   May-08-09 12:37 PM   #2 
  - Exactly. I don't know why that's not implicitly obvious.  TahitiNut   May-08-09 01:42 PM   #35 
  - +1  Blue_Tires   May-08-09 01:48 PM   #39 
  - Or is too sick to know or care  marshall   May-08-09 02:10 PM   #47 
  - Then what you still have is someone too cowardly to address the real problems  sybylla   May-08-09 02:37 PM   #52 
  - Bullshit.  alarimer   May-08-09 06:52 PM   #107 
     - Boy this thread is a real case study in rationalization ain't it?  redqueen   May-09-09 09:26 AM   #153 
  - Indeed. I knew of a couple who had to spend six months apart every year  Lorien   May-08-09 03:49 PM   #83 
     - except for the daughter who watched her parents and felt strong enough to say something  seabeyond   May-08-09 07:50 PM   #114 
     - That's a good point  Dorian Gray   May-09-09 09:06 AM   #149 
     - What a "black licorice" thing to say. I would guess the daughter had a better  Maru Kitteh   May-09-09 03:21 AM   #136 
     - Her parents are over 70 and still act like newlyweds  Lorien   May-09-09 01:53 PM   #181 
        - maybe for them  seabeyond   May-09-09 01:58 PM   #183 
     - My guess is that the daughter probably had a better insight as to the "lack of" happiness.  alphafemale   May-09-09 04:46 AM   #141 
     - Since the daughter still hopes that her marriage will always be as successful  Lorien   May-09-09 01:57 PM   #182 
        - The daughter's statement only sounds regretful...  JackRiddler   May-10-09 02:57 PM   #206 
     - What a joke.  redqueen   May-09-09 09:27 AM   #154 
        - Funny things happen when people believe they are going to die  Lorien   May-09-09 02:01 PM   #184 
        - First you said it was cause they were apart six months a year...  redqueen   May-09-09 03:38 PM   #193 
           - The only sad thing here is your need to paint total strangers...  JackRiddler   May-10-09 03:01 PM   #208 
        - Strawman. Actually, more like projection.  JackRiddler   May-10-09 03:00 PM   #207 
  - "betrayal" is a better word.  Lerkfish   May-08-09 12:38 PM   #3 
  - I totally agree...  Hepburn   May-08-09 12:51 PM   #15 
  - There are many forms of betrayal.  JackRiddler   May-08-09 01:05 PM   #25 
     - I wasn't discussing relative levels of betrayal, but rather what was a better descriptive term  Lerkfish   May-08-09 04:57 PM   #100 
     - I can too, and I understand what you've been trying to say  Lorien   May-09-09 02:20 PM   #185 
  - if monogamy was promised in the vows or promised between 2 people  Lex   May-08-09 12:39 PM   #4 
  - Agree with you, except in the word to describe the action  havocmom   May-08-09 12:45 PM   #8 
  - I think "cheating" comes from not playing by the rules agreed to  Lex   May-08-09 12:49 PM   #11 
     - I don't think its the word that matters, everyone knows what it means  The Hope Mobile   May-08-09 03:39 PM   #79 
  - There's better words like infidelity to describe the physical act of sex with another. However, most  sinkingfeeling   May-08-09 12:59 PM   #20 
  - There's a mistaken underlying assumption that it is "normal" for humans to be monogamous.  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 12:42 PM   #5 
  - Regardless, if people make a committment to be monogamous  Mike Daniels   May-08-09 12:47 PM   #10 
  - I don't disagree with you on any of your points. What I am saying (in perhaps too roundabout a way)  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 12:49 PM   #14 
  - It is not a learned thing!  Kalyke   May-08-09 01:51 PM   #41 
  - You are missing my point AND misrepresenting what I'm saying.  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 02:39 PM   #53 
     - I find it rather immature to call others immature.  Kalyke   May-08-09 02:53 PM   #60 
     - If love = sex, then yes, that IS immature.  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 02:59 PM   # 
        - you are the one insisting who we are and what we are and name calling  seabeyond   May-08-09 03:03 PM   #66 
           - Really? Look back thru the thread and you will see that I was attacked first.  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 03:14 PM   #72 
              - Wrong. YOU attacked what many still believe is a better way to live  The Hope Mobile   May-08-09 03:49 PM   #84 
              - to disagree is not to attack. and the conclusions you draw are purely speculative  seabeyond   May-08-09 04:43 PM   #94 
              - You are using  Dorian Gray   May-09-09 09:10 AM   #150 
     - it is nice  quaker bill   May-08-09 05:40 PM   #103 
     - Why the hostility?  Gemini Cat   May-08-09 10:31 PM   #131 
     - that has nothing to do with maturity.  iamthebandfanman   May-09-09 04:08 AM   #137 
  - oh bullshit. lol lol. right. n/t  seabeyond   May-08-09 02:33 PM   #51 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   May-08-09 02:40 PM   #54 
     - if you two came to that conclusion, i am all for it. to suggest that all feel as you is  seabeyond   May-08-09 02:52 PM   #58 
        - You're fooling yourself.  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 02:56 PM   #62 
           - why? if we do not validate your behavior do you insist you know me and who and what i am  seabeyond   May-08-09 03:02 PM   #65 
              - Not saying you're not happy.  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 03:16 PM   #74 
                 - ah... you innocent, to suggest my hubby is not happy? nah, no impure intent on your part  seabeyond   May-08-09 04:45 PM   #96 
                    - Don't listen to those insinuations  Dorian Gray   May-09-09 09:13 AM   #151 
                       - i am raising kids, i clearly see the intent of poster and the silliness of it  seabeyond   May-09-09 10:11 AM   #169 
  - Wow, that is just so messed up on so many levels.  sybylla   May-08-09 02:47 PM   #57 
  - ONCE AGAIN someone misses the point of what I'm saying.  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 02:52 PM   #59 
  - Who says it's not normal?  Kalyke   May-08-09 02:59 PM   #63 
  - Many yes. But not most. At least half of all people cheat on their spouse.  arbusto_baboso   May-08-09 03:01 PM   #64 
     - It is a character deficit. We'd all like to trade in our car for a newer  The Hope Mobile   May-08-09 04:01 PM   #87 
  - monogamy is NOT NORMAL for human beings... and people that find this perfectly normal  seabeyond   May-08-09 03:05 PM   #67 
  - Wow, you've really taught me something tonight.  Sapphocrat   May-08-09 10:56 PM   #132 
  - Ahem  MadrasT   May-10-09 10:12 PM   #218 
     - Yeah, the subject line kind of gets people started before they even read it.  redqueen   May-11-09 10:11 AM   #220 
  - "Sexual jealousy is a learned thing"  Realityhack   May-08-09 03:39 PM   #78 
     - Let the moron try. In fact, let's steal that person's partner and do it in plain sight.  Deja Q   May-08-09 09:16 PM   #125 
  - Thank you.  Kalyke   May-08-09 01:47 PM   #38 
  - I'm sure there's a normal curve, or overlapping curves of some sort.  hunter   May-08-09 04:43 PM   #95 
  - Each individual can only speak for themselves. If one can't be monogamous,  redqueen   May-09-09 09:30 AM   #155 
  - the Devil Made me Do It!  alcibiades_mystery   May-09-09 02:41 PM   #189 
  - if the parameters of a relationship are based on comittment to monogamy  kid a   May-08-09 12:44 PM   #6 
  - Anytime you do something that you know your SO would not be comfortable  The Hope Mobile   May-08-09 03:55 PM   #86 
     - spot on  renegade000   May-08-09 11:20 PM   #133 
        - Exactly!!  The Hope Mobile   May-09-09 02:59 PM   #191 
  - recommend -- complexity can be an awful thing.  xchrom   May-08-09 12:44 PM   #7 
  - But sometimes you know very well that if you engage in certain behavior, you are an asshole.  Raskolnik   May-08-09 12:51 PM   #16 
     - i'm personally not jealous like that.  xchrom   May-08-09 02:19 PM   #49 
        - Nice reframing of the paradigm but it has nothing to do with jealousy.  The Hope Mobile   May-08-09 04:03 PM   #88 
           - what a bunch of fuckin horse shit -- if you are a grown up  xchrom   May-08-09 04:45 PM   #97 
              - Very mature!  The Hope Mobile   May-08-09 07:23 PM   #110 
              - what the fuck are talking about? -- i feel bad for your clients. nt  xchrom   May-08-09 07:44 PM   #113 
              - all this name calling and stuff is grown up? who knew, lol. n/t  seabeyond   May-08-09 08:37 PM   #120 
                 - My point exactly. nt  The Hope Mobile   May-09-09 10:01 AM   #163 
  - let me guess... rationalizing smoove johnny's behavior are we?  dionysus   May-08-09 12:45 PM   #9 
  - They never stop, do they?  Alexander   May-08-09 01:46 PM   #37 
  - Yep... lots of people in this thread apparently have no desire whatsoever to be monogamous.  redqueen   May-09-09 09:32 AM   #156 
     - what i see though, it is a few, not lots. most in htis thread know better, know it  seabeyond   May-09-09 09:41 AM   #159 
        - Good point...  redqueen   May-09-09 09:56 AM   #161 
           - and they are probably people that have chips on their shoulder with opposite gender  seabeyond   May-09-09 10:02 AM   #164 
  - The problem is the health consequences for the other spouse  Warpy   May-08-09 12:49 PM   #12 
  - That, to me, is the real deal.  Hepburn   May-08-09 12:54 PM   #18 
  - One could also suggest that the last thing EE needs is to continue to *FEED* the sordid details  ShortnFiery   May-08-09 01:02 PM   #23 
  - That's ONE of the problems.  The Hope Mobile   May-08-09 07:24 PM   #111 
  - "Cheating" does depend on both "the here and now" and what's in the alleged "Cheater's heart."  ShortnFiery   May-08-09 12:49 PM   #13 
  - If I entered a contract with someone and started a business and  Vickers   May-08-09 12:52 PM   #17 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   May-08-09 12:55 PM   #19 
  - LOL, that reminds me of a recent Seinfeld episode where Jerry is helping George "problem solve"  ShortnFiery   May-08-09 12:59 PM   #21 
  - NAILED it!  Hell Hath No Fury   May-08-09 01:18 PM   #27 
  - please don't attribute that to all men... not all of us are slimebags!  dionysus   May-08-09 01:21 PM   #29 
  - Define slimebag.  JackRiddler   May-08-09 01:37 PM   #31 
     - if you're with a woman and you're sneaking around fucking people behind her back, then you're a  dionysus   May-08-09 01:40 PM   #32 
        - Assumptions, assumptions.  JackRiddler   May-08-09 01:50 PM   #40 
           - you can justify cheating on a terminally ill spouse all you want... it just makes you look more the  dionysus   May-08-09 01:53 PM   #43 
           - WTF is your problem?  JackRiddler   May-08-09 03:12 PM   #68 
              - these threads pop up EVERY time there's Ewards news, like clockwork. no coincidence...  dionysus   May-08-09 03:17 PM   #75 
           - You think cheating is okay. We got it.  Alexander   May-08-09 01:54 PM   #44 
              - No, wife-beating.  JackRiddler   May-08-09 03:13 PM   #69 
                 - Yay, a worthless non-sequitur.  Alexander   May-08-09 03:49 PM   #82 
  - The question here is whether...  JackRiddler   May-08-09 01:35 PM   #30 
  - Of course not.  bunnies   May-08-09 02:00 PM   #46 
  - Unless they had an open relationship  Dorian Gray   May-08-09 02:14 PM   #48 
  - Who said Glen Close was the monster?  Caliman73   May-08-09 02:55 PM   #61 
  - That movie...  DawgHouse   May-08-09 08:00 PM   #116 
     - ya. that is what i heard. n/t  seabeyond   May-08-09 08:01 PM   #117 
  - Deleted sub-thread  Name removed   May-08-09 01:41 PM   #33 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   May-08-09 01:42 PM   #34 
  - As a male, I disagree. Such broad-brush attributions don't serve ANY good purpose.  TahitiNut   May-08-09 01:51 PM   #42 
  - As long as you marry someone with the stipulation that you will sleep around its not cheating  stray cat   May-08-09 01:00 PM   #22 
  - "Pollution" is a propaganda term denying my rights for hygeinic diversity!  Bucky   May-08-09 01:03 PM   #24 
  - Hm, who brought up the question of "rights"?  JackRiddler   May-08-09 01:10 PM   #26 
  - Cultural bias?  Swamp Rat   May-08-09 01:20 PM   #28 
  - Way 'yat, Swampie?  Canuckistanian   May-08-09 03:53 PM   #85 
  - I thought I read here you were in South America?  NNN0LHI   May-09-09 10:07 AM   #167 
     - I am  Swamp Rat   May-09-09 11:46 PM   #202 
  - Oh yeah, not like there's anything wrong with giving your partner diseases...  Alexander   May-08-09 01:43 PM   #36 
  - If it were not for the concept of cheating -  dustbunnie   May-08-09 02:00 PM   #45 
  - Hmmm, sorry JackRiddler. But I think the term "cheating" applies when one agrees  mzmolly   May-08-09 02:26 PM   #50 
  - Is this agreement done explicitly or not?  JVS   May-08-09 02:45 PM   #56 
  - Of course.  mzmolly   May-08-09 06:06 PM   #105 
  - Exactly!  Realityhack   May-08-09 03:34 PM   #76 
  - Then it isn't a marriage at all.  Deja Q   May-08-09 09:15 PM   #124 
     - Maybe not to you.  JackRiddler   May-08-09 10:16 PM   #130 
  - I'm having an image of a guy coming home after midnight, shirt untucked,  Forkboy   May-08-09 02:43 PM   #55 
  - Did You Or Did You Not Vow to "Cleave Only Unto"?  NashVegas   May-08-09 03:13 PM   #70 
  - Um, no.  JackRiddler   May-08-09 03:15 PM   #73 
     - Fine  NashVegas   May-08-09 03:41 PM   #80 
  - I imagine many, many people will...  LanternWaste   May-08-09 03:13 PM   #71 
  - man, i enjoy your posts.  seabeyond   May-08-09 04:50 PM   #98 
  - Yours was a rather nice compliment to end a rough day...  LanternWaste   May-08-09 05:07 PM   #101 
     - wavin  seabeyond   May-08-09 05:23 PM   #102 
  - Oh so very well said...  redqueen   May-09-09 09:34 AM   #157 
  - This thread is some food fight! I haven't seen one of these in a long time!  CTyankee   May-08-09 03:37 PM   #77 
  - Cheating a client in business is a propaganda term for strict or jealous ethicists.  Lone_Star_Dem   May-08-09 03:41 PM   #81 
  - Actually, the real world financial system is based on exactly that premise!  JackRiddler   May-08-09 04:31 PM   #92 
  - If you say you won't  JuniperLea   May-08-09 04:09 PM   #89 
  - Well said  Time for change   May-08-09 04:17 PM   #90 
  - Thanks but here's some self-critique...  JackRiddler   May-08-09 04:41 PM   #93 
  - Cheating on the Monogamous contract....  whoneedstickets   May-08-09 04:18 PM   #91 
  - What you say is really what it all boils down to.  dustbunnie   May-08-09 08:14 PM   #118 
  - LOL - Rationalization City! Also, is "monstrous" a euphemism for "fat?"  smalll   May-08-09 04:56 PM   #99 
  - To your question: certainly not.  JackRiddler   May-08-09 10:10 PM   #129 
  - It is not about the intercourse  quaker bill   May-08-09 05:51 PM   #104 
  - Exactly.  knitter4democracy   May-08-09 09:11 PM   #121 
     - I see that you have been there as well  quaker bill   May-08-09 11:28 PM   #134 
        - I hope so, too.  knitter4democracy   May-09-09 10:07 AM   #168 
  - Only assholes cheat.  alarimer   May-08-09 06:49 PM   #106 
  - ding ding ding...  dionysus   May-08-09 06:52 PM   #108 
  - da ding ding ding, lol. n/t  seabeyond   May-08-09 06:57 PM   #109 
  - What about someone who finds him/herself in a controlling or abusive marriage?  dustbunnie   May-08-09 08:35 PM   #119 
  - As our judge said at the second hearing, you get the divorce first.  knitter4democracy   May-08-09 09:13 PM   #122 
     - Oh, but being an even lower piece of used toilet paper is so much more fun!  Deja Q   May-08-09 09:19 PM   #127 
     - That sounds great on paper. Or a message board post.  dustbunnie   May-08-09 09:30 PM   #128 
        - dustbunnie: Wise and simply said, thank you, hope anyone even gets it. nt  JackRiddler   May-09-09 08:39 AM   #146 
        - This issue is being brought up in the context of Edwards' *pattern* of cheating  redqueen   May-09-09 09:39 AM   #158 
        - sometimes when one lives in integrity they might actually have to do without, do something  seabeyond   May-09-09 09:44 AM   #160 
        - Well said. It is hard, and most of us fall short.  redqueen   May-09-09 09:57 AM   #162 
        - i am not big on lying, but lying to self is the worst. lie to me, lie to the world  seabeyond   May-09-09 10:05 AM   #166 
        - .  dionysus   May-09-09 07:41 PM   #197 
        - I know the thread was inspired by the Edwards scandale. But people are responding with -  dustbunnie   May-10-09 03:48 PM   #210 
           - Aaarrrrrrrrgh!!! This thread was NOT inspired by Edwards!!!!  JackRiddler   May-10-09 06:34 PM   #211 
           - Sorry!!!  dustbunnie   May-10-09 07:09 PM   #212 
           - With an affair, though, you can't really delude yourself that he still loves you.  knitter4democracy   May-10-09 08:52 PM   #213 
              - You're lucky to be rid of him!  dustbunnie   May-10-09 09:36 PM   #214 
                 - Maybe a one time thing, but the trust is still broken.  knitter4democracy   May-10-09 09:51 PM   #215 
        - Well, that's what STBX says.  knitter4democracy   May-09-09 10:05 AM   #165 
        - I'm all for not judging people, but  renegade000   May-09-09 11:25 AM   #176 
  - But that's not realistic an attitude!  Deja Q   May-08-09 09:17 PM   #126 
  - +1  Midlodemocrat   May-09-09 02:21 PM   #186 
  - only immature adults expect others to fill their every emotional need at every minute. nt  xchrom   May-09-09 06:31 PM   #195 
  - "You cannot add this person to your buddy list because they are already on"  AspenRose   May-09-09 09:39 PM   #201 
  - No, if you agree to have an exclusive relationship  AllentownJake   May-08-09 07:29 PM   #112 
  - EE said that she asked for only ONE thing from JE---To be faithful.  SemiCharmedQuark   May-08-09 07:51 PM   #115 
  - Levi was right after all. Thanks for helping to prove him right.  Deja Q   May-08-09 09:14 PM   #123 
  - Sorry, I don't follow tabloid characters, so I have no idea what Levi even said.  JackRiddler   May-09-09 08:36 AM   #145 
  - Maybe you could make up new terms.  redqueen   May-08-09 11:36 PM   #135 
  - I guess you could!  JackRiddler   May-09-09 09:01 AM   #148 
     - Oh please.  redqueen   May-09-09 09:25 AM   #152 
  - Polyamorists get polysyllabic about this  eridani   May-09-09 04:14 AM   #138 
  - whys it so hard to understand?  iamthebandfanman   May-09-09 04:35 AM   #139 
  - A "propaganda" term? Like a FOX news piece or a slanted newspaper article?  readmoreoften   May-09-09 04:43 AM   #140 
  - Oh, brother...  JackRiddler   May-09-09 08:50 AM   #147 
  - I guess some people have more love to give than others do  MrScorpio   May-09-09 04:47 AM   #142 
  - Why bother to enter or stay in a monogamous relationship?  eShirl   May-09-09 05:25 AM   #143 
  - Most people don't "bother to enter"...  JackRiddler   May-09-09 10:13 AM   #170 
     - "It just happens". maybe that is the problem. to have so little control  seabeyond   May-09-09 10:37 AM   #171 
     - oi vey!  JackRiddler   May-09-09 10:56 AM   #172 
        - really.... doesnt seem hard or foriegn to me and cannot believe there arent many  seabeyond   May-09-09 11:00 AM   #173 
           - Just landed on this planet, eh?  JackRiddler   May-09-09 11:19 AM   #175 
              - you make them powerless, i tell you that concept is foriegn. in my world  seabeyond   May-09-09 11:57 AM   #177 
              - I don't believe in human free will either, but  renegade000   May-09-09 12:10 PM   #179 
     - Nothing "just" happens  Dorian Gray   May-09-09 11:17 AM   #174 
        - see, i knew i wasnt the only one dorian. self awaremess is possible.  seabeyond   May-09-09 11:58 AM   #178 
           - self-deception is also possible ... and known to simulate self-awareness...  JackRiddler   May-10-09 12:01 AM   #203 
  - Your problem lies with the lies  Bluenorthwest   May-09-09 07:45 AM   #144 
  - +1  malletgirl02   May-09-09 02:36 PM   #187 
  - you should break up the paragraphs, because that is an awesome post.  dionysus   May-09-09 07:45 PM   #198 
  - It's a shame you picked that trollish subject line  Chovexani   May-09-09 01:27 PM   #180 
  - Very thoughtful post & you're right about the subject line...  JackRiddler   May-09-09 03:21 PM   #192 
  - Thoughtful post - thank you nt  Adelante   May-09-09 08:00 PM   #199 
  - Apologia Pro Vita Edwardsia?  alcibiades_mystery   May-09-09 02:39 PM   #188 
  - I don't agree.  LWolf   May-09-09 02:51 PM   #190 
  - The context (that inspires my post)...  JackRiddler   May-09-09 07:39 PM   #196 
     - I agree with most of your thoughts about relationships.  LWolf   May-11-09 08:37 AM   #219 
  - I'm seeing a lot of amusing "um...what I did isn't cheating, either" in this thread.  Occam Bandage   May-09-09 03:42 PM   #194 
  - Although I am monagamous, sometimes I wonder why adultry is considered the worst crime  Nikia   May-09-09 08:56 PM   #200 
  - Thanks for explaining my own thinking in this, but with greater clarity!  JackRiddler   May-10-09 12:02 AM   #204 
  - It's considered worse because that is how the vast majority of people view it.  redqueen   May-10-09 08:57 AM   #205 
     - And the earth used to be flat for the same reason.  JackRiddler   May-10-09 03:03 PM   #209 
        - Cheating is cheating.  redqueen   May-11-09 10:31 AM   #221 
           - "Stomp your feet"? Yeah, childish your world-view is!  JackRiddler   May-11-09 10:35 AM   #222 
              - lol, one can mind their own business and still cheating  seabeyond   May-11-09 10:47 AM   #223 
  - I only use cheating to mean a breech of their agreement..... more  imdjh   May-10-09 09:55 PM   #216 
  - My mom's advice- Ladies, never marry a man who is prettier than you are.  imdjh   May-10-09 10:03 PM   #217 
 

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