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Reply #41: Hugs to you and you sound normal, not losing your sanity [View All]

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Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU
uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-20-09 09:46 PM
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41. Hugs to you and you sound normal, not losing your sanity
One of the hardest thing to do is have a parent die, have to deal with it. If there is a hospice or a group near you dealing with death and dying issues, talk with them as this is what they do.

Of course you are upset. Of course you cry. Of course you feel like you are going crazy. Things are out of your control and good grief losing a parent can be really really really hard.

My advice:
Make sure you take care of yourself. Eat, drink (low alcohol), sleep in amounts that will keep you healthy.

Benadryl is otc and is the part of "tylenol pm" that makes it "pm", but you can get it on its own. One won't knock you out, it is an antihistamine, but can help you go back to sleep when you finally fall asleep then wake with a start, thinking "omg, my dad".

Find hospice or a group as they can help.

Take care of yourself. If you get sick, it won't help anyone. Take care of yourself.
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  -Advice would be appreciated: Today my dad was told, basically, you have six to nine months to live Mike 03  Apr-20-09 08:47 PM   #0 
  - What's the diagnosis? Is he inclined to fight? If so, I'd go for a second opinion. NT  MADem   Apr-20-09 08:48 PM   #1 
  - Good advice IMO  Carni   Apr-20-09 09:16 PM   #20 
     - If it's cancer, never say never. At least go for the second "guesstimate."  MADem   Apr-21-09 12:24 AM   #58 
  - You are going to have to let your dad take the lead on what HE wants to do  riderinthestorm   Apr-20-09 08:54 PM   #2 
  - Mike, I'm Unqualified to Advise You  Mr. Ected   Apr-20-09 08:55 PM   #3 
  - Also feel free to PM me if you fee like it  Mike 03   Apr-20-09 08:56 PM   #4 
  - "On death and dying" by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.  cliffordu   Apr-20-09 08:57 PM   #5 
  - Same one I was going to say  The Straight Story   Apr-20-09 09:01 PM   #11 
  - what does he like to do? plan 6-9 months of doing that  adamuu   Apr-20-09 08:57 PM   #6 
  - I have a book recommendation.  TNDemo   Apr-20-09 08:58 PM   #7 
  - Take him fishing.  doctor jazz   Apr-20-09 08:58 PM   #8 
  - I don't have any advice for you, but  Natalya Slosky   Apr-20-09 08:59 PM   #9 
  - How old are your parents, Mike? nt  pnwmom   Apr-20-09 09:00 PM   #10 
  - do you have a Hospice near you??  Mari333   Apr-20-09 09:01 PM   #12 
  - It's a difficult time. Lots of stress and fears come out. You will all work things out in your own  geckosfeet   Apr-20-09 09:02 PM   #13 
  - 17 years ago, my father was 62 and was told he had between two weeks and two months to live...  KathieG   Apr-20-09 09:05 PM   #14 
  - Mike 03  Iwillnevergiveup   Apr-20-09 09:05 PM   #15 
  - I don't have experience with this for a family member  ohheckyeah   Apr-20-09 09:09 PM   #16 
  - Thinking of you, Mike  Pithy   Apr-20-09 09:14 PM   #17 
  - Please ignore my drama. I just feel so empty and sad inside. I can't stop  Mike 03   Apr-20-09 09:14 PM   #18 
  - ((((HUGS))))  Bobbie Jo   Apr-20-09 09:21 PM   #26 
  - Drama is sobbing over a broken nail, not  ohheckyeah   Apr-20-09 09:23 PM   #27 
  - Don't apologize Mike  blaze   Apr-20-09 09:35 PM   #36 
  - Look up the psychologists in your health insurance and just go there to unload.  jazzjunkysue   Apr-20-09 10:22 PM   #50 
  - Mike, this isn't drama. It's one of the heartbreaking parts of life.  SeattleGirl   Apr-20-09 10:23 PM   #51 
  - Well you should be kind of. You aren't the first, and take some stuff inside yourself.  dustbunnie   Apr-20-09 10:40 PM   #53 
  - This has happened to many of us, you know--particularly those of us  MADem   Apr-21-09 12:29 AM   #59 
  - When it is time for me to head out....  BeFree   Apr-20-09 09:16 PM   #19 
  - Hospice,  elleng   Apr-20-09 09:18 PM   #21 
  - BOY YOU ARE JUST GETTING STARTED - I WOULD FIRST  southernyankeebelle   Apr-20-09 09:18 PM   #22 
  - Please don't type in all caps...it is considered rude, like you are shouting.  Lars39   Apr-20-09 09:23 PM   #28 
  - Ordinarily.  madamesilverspurs   Apr-20-09 09:30 PM   #31 
  - I don't think he is looking for legal advice :(  Carni   Apr-20-09 09:27 PM   #30 
  - Be there, but also let your fears come out  nadinbrzezinski   Apr-20-09 09:19 PM   #23 
  - No advice...just my thoughts...n/t  BlueCollar   Apr-20-09 09:19 PM   #24 
  - Do for him  KT2000   Apr-20-09 09:21 PM   #25 
  - Listen to every fracking thing he has to say.  dustbunnie   Apr-20-09 09:26 PM   #29 
  - Oh Mike  Born_A_Truman   Apr-20-09 09:32 PM   #32 
  - my mother, 2000  spanone   Apr-20-09 09:33 PM   #33 
  - Vibes & (((HUGS)))  applegrove   Apr-20-09 09:33 PM   #34 
  - It's hardest on the family  buzzycrumbhunger   Apr-20-09 09:35 PM   #35 
  - Get a Second Opinion..and a Third...  Rockholm   Apr-20-09 09:36 PM   #37 
  - What your feeling is pretty normal. Listen to your dad and your mom and take care of yourself  stray cat   Apr-20-09 09:38 PM   #38 
  - My dad was given 18 months and lived 11 years, mostly healthy.  ArtVandelay   Apr-20-09 09:41 PM   #39 
  - Yes it's normal  Stephanie   Apr-20-09 09:44 PM   #40 
  - Hugs to you and you sound normal, not losing your sanity  uppityperson   Apr-20-09 09:46 PM   #41 
  - Prayers and good thoughts to you.  madamesilverspurs   Apr-20-09 09:48 PM   #42 
  - Treasure the time.  Mnemosyne    Apr-20-09 09:49 PM   #43 
  - Been there, Mike  Uben   Apr-20-09 09:51 PM   #44 
  - Mike, I lost my Dad almost 2 years ago..  Peacetrain   Apr-20-09 09:58 PM   #45 
  - i am so sorry!  amborin   Apr-20-09 10:01 PM   #46 
  - Take Each Day as it Comes  SoDesuKa   Apr-20-09 10:01 PM   #47 
  - I have no experience with this . . .  defendandprotect   Apr-20-09 10:08 PM   #48 
  - work into your conversations acknowledgement of things he did for you...  MnFats   Apr-20-09 10:15 PM   #49 
  - Hospice people are wonderful in my experience.  PufPuf23   Apr-20-09 10:38 PM   #52 
  - Get a second opinion and do not give up -  lynne   Apr-20-09 10:54 PM   #54 
  - ((Mike)). What you're feeling is completely normal. The first stage of grief is disbelief and with  arthritisR_US   Apr-20-09 10:56 PM   #55 
  - You got two people to worry about. Dad and you. And you're the bigger worry.  Stinky The Clown   Apr-20-09 10:58 PM   #56 
  - Having been through this same scenario with my dad and my wife's dad  stopbush   Apr-20-09 11:09 PM   #57 
 

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