Reply #82: Speaking as a parent.

[No.23]

I'd like to offer my two cents as a parent, and not as a practicing clinician on this topic. For parents are often asked by their children to explain the differences that they see in other people.

One of the core premises that I use in talking about other people with my daughter is... we all possess gifts. Some people share the same gifts that we have, and some people don't.

When we run into people who don't share the same gifts that we have, I try to remind my daughter that they are otherly-gifted than we are.

They may not have the same, obvious gifts that we do. But they are, nonetheless, still otherly-gifted.

This has often translated into my daughter looking for their less-obvious other gifts.

Some of the gifts that she has found include: they don't practice mean-spiritedness; their actions and words are transparent and void of manipulation; and, they don't hurt other people.

As a parent, how we explain the differences that our children see in other people... has a significant affect on how they will treat them as adults.