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RandySF Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 02:03 PM
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How Do I Tell a Parent Her Kid Is Out of Shape?
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My girlfriend and I live in San Francisco with our three-year old son. If you live here or have ever been here, you know that the hilly terrain turns a simple stroll into a workout. When he turned two, I quit using our stroller because my son was getting too heavy to push uphill and I thought the exercise is good for him. However, we frequently babysit another boy about our son's age whose mom STILL pushes him everywhere. Last week, we walked with both kids two blocks DOWNHILL to a Walgreen's and by the time they got there, the kid had to lie down on the floor to catch his breath. Just a few days before that, he only managed to walk half a block before he started crying. My question whether we should tell the kid's mom that she needs to ditch the stroller most of the time or let her push him around so he can continue to walk around out of breath? What do you think?

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  -How Do I Tell a Parent Her Kid Is Out of Shape? RandySF  Feb-02-09 02:03 PM   #0 
  - Unsolicited advice is almost always Unwanted Advice  MineralMan   Feb-02-09 02:05 PM   #1 
  - Even solicited advice is often not really welcome. n/t  elocs   Feb-02-09 02:16 PM   #17 
  - Why not go for a family walk with here? Let your boy walk and let her get all worn out trying to kee...  Vincardog   Feb-02-09 02:05 PM   #2 
  - Don't diagnose the kid  nichomachus   Feb-02-09 02:06 PM   #3 
  - I agree with this  wildflower   Feb-02-09 03:45 PM   #49 
  - Rat her out to Child Protective Services for child abuse  slackmaster   Feb-02-09 02:06 PM   #4 
  - I hope you're not serious. All this would show is ignorance.  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 02:26 PM   #26 
     - Either she is abusing the kid or she is not  slackmaster   Feb-02-09 02:46 PM   #36 
     - It's not minding your own business to call CPS.  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 03:03 PM   #39 
     - I'm saying either call CPS, or do nothing  slackmaster   Feb-02-09 03:08 PM   #43 
     - But there is no evidence of abuse. So why bring up CPS? n/t  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 10:13 PM   #70 
     - It's all or nothing for a lot of people...  LanternWaste   Feb-02-09 03:24 PM   #46 
     - Hello?  LisaL   Feb-02-09 07:11 PM   #66 
     - I have to agree  Zodiak   Feb-02-09 04:33 PM   #59 
        - "Really young kids have lots of energy, but no endurance for walking."  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 11:37 PM   #91 
           - Yes, that is what I'm saying  Zodiak   Feb-03-09 12:41 AM   #97 
              - Your answer just now is the perfect one. Too bad the OP (and some others)  pnwmom   Feb-03-09 01:04 AM   #102 
  - I think a 3 year old walking the hills of SF is too much  nini   Feb-02-09 02:07 PM   #5 
  - exactly how much do you know about this kid's medical history?  Donnachaidh   Feb-02-09 02:07 PM   #6 
  - We've known the kids almost since birth  RandySF   Feb-02-09 02:09 PM   #8 
     - If you feel you must bring it up  prolesunited   Feb-02-09 02:12 PM   #11 
     - It's not asthma. He's just stressed from being expected to do something  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 02:38 PM   #31 
  - She knows. nt  NOW tense   Feb-02-09 02:09 PM   #7 
  - Perhaps it's wise not to tell, but rather, to ask.  IntravenousDemilo   Feb-02-09 02:10 PM   #9 
  - Thats good.  elleng   Feb-03-09 12:56 AM   #101 
  - Are you sure he doesn't have a medical problem?  Hello_Kitty   Feb-02-09 02:11 PM   #10 
  - I have found it best to steer clear of telling other people how and  OHdem10   Feb-02-09 02:12 PM   #12 
  - That assumes the child isn't getting enough activity.  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 03:01 PM   #38 
  - This is well may be a medical problem  Fovea   Feb-02-09 02:12 PM   #13 
  - My undiagnosed Celiac daughter tired very, very quickly...  SidDithers   Feb-02-09 04:32 PM   #57 
     - Glad you got your daughter diagnosed.  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 11:47 PM   #96 
        - Thanks. Diagnosed at 5...  SidDithers   Feb-03-09 08:48 AM   #106 
  - Ask Mom if She'd Like to Join You & Your  otohara   Feb-02-09 02:14 PM   #14 
  - Suggest more play=dates at the park or for walks down by the water / Embarcadero.  Parker CA   Feb-02-09 02:16 PM   #15 
  - unless you're a doctor it will probably end in disaster.  Soylent Brice   Feb-02-09 02:16 PM   #16 
  - Yes, welcome to DU which is like the Hotel California:  elocs   Feb-02-09 02:18 PM   #18 
  - i used to walk the hills of sf, toting a conga drum made from a  grannie4peace   Feb-02-09 02:18 PM   #19 
  - If s/he says that, s/he should not be surprised to lose a friend. n/t  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 02:40 PM   #32 
     - if you are going to say something you should love  grannie4peace   Feb-02-09 03:32 PM   #47 
        - To say "your kid is out of shape compared to mine" would sound competitive  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 10:24 PM   #76 
  - How often do you babysit him?  SteelPenguin   Feb-02-09 02:20 PM   #20 
  - You don't.  krabigirl   Feb-02-09 02:21 PM   #21 
  - And be sure to never call the cops if you see someone being beaten on the street and left to die.  Deja Q   Feb-02-09 07:14 PM   #67 
     - There's no comparison at all. This 3 year old is behaving like a typical  pnwmom   Feb-03-09 11:07 PM   #120 
  - I've seen paraplegics make better use of their legs than your son.  Ezlivin   Feb-02-09 02:23 PM   #22 
  - It's not my son  RandySF   Feb-02-09 02:31 PM   #27 
  - Whoosh  LostinVA   Feb-02-09 03:03 PM   #40 
  - ...  Donnachaidh   Feb-02-09 03:20 PM   #45 
  - Right OVER  mtnester   Feb-02-09 05:45 PM   #64 
  - Didn't even stop to collect $200!! n/t  prayin4rain   Feb-02-09 10:19 PM   #73 
  - you called that right  CreekDog   Feb-02-09 11:01 PM   #81 
  - ........  Runcible Spoon   Feb-02-09 04:26 PM   #55 
     - hahahahhahahha n/t  prayin4rain   Feb-02-09 10:20 PM   #74 
  - ROFL  Zywiec   Feb-02-09 03:09 PM   #44 
  - But why break it to the kid gently?  Ignis   Feb-02-09 04:19 PM   #52 
  - You should suggest she have him see a doctor  Stephanie   Feb-02-09 02:23 PM   #23 
  - I bet anything the child isn't really out of breath. He's just frustrated  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 02:44 PM   #34 
  - Telling other people how to parents is a good way to wind up  NeedleCast   Feb-02-09 02:25 PM   #24 
  - I would describe the situation to his mom without making any judgments  Fleshdancer   Feb-02-09 02:25 PM   #25 
  - loosen some nuts/bolts in the stroller.  Lance_Boyle   Feb-02-09 02:31 PM   #28 
  - lol ...  chatnoir   Feb-02-09 02:44 PM   #33 
  - Consult a child care book. This is perfectly normal 3 yr. old behavior.  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 02:32 PM   #29 
  - You are correct.  RadiationTherapy   Feb-02-09 04:25 PM   #54 
     - Thanks, RadiationTherapy. I'm kind of surprised, too,  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 10:15 PM   #71 
  - how do i tell a parent their kid is stupid. academics, learning, thinking is top priority in our  seabeyond   Feb-02-09 02:32 PM   #30 
  - Get really really drunk and call the parents in the middle of the night.  ZombieHorde   Feb-02-09 02:46 PM   #35 
  - Sounds like you are pushing YOUR kid too hard. 3 years old?! C'mon now.  earth mom   Feb-02-09 02:53 PM   #37 
  - I was thinkiing that, too  LostinVA   Feb-02-09 03:04 PM   #41 
  - Maybe the kid is out of breath because of a medical problem.  Vinca   Feb-02-09 03:06 PM   #42 
  - We live on a very steep hill...  ContinentalOp   Feb-02-09 03:42 PM   #48 
  - Since you live in SF, it would be easy to play the "concern" card.  Greyhound   Feb-02-09 03:47 PM   #50 
  - It's not really your place to offer  Dorian Gray   Feb-02-09 04:12 PM   #51 
  - Maybe the kid has asthma  XemaSab   Feb-02-09 04:21 PM   #53 
  - I don't know, but make sure you use the word "fatty".  bbernardini   Feb-02-09 04:32 PM   #56 
  - He could definitely have a medical condition  LisaM   Feb-02-09 04:32 PM   #58 
  - myob  book_worm   Feb-02-09 04:34 PM   #60 
  - Just schedule more playdates  rucky   Feb-02-09 04:42 PM   #61 
  - I'd make a game out of it, and see if being winded disappears  Ms. Toad   Feb-02-09 05:30 PM   #62 
  - It is none of your business.  WindRiverMan   Feb-02-09 05:40 PM   #63 
  - Tell the mother your concerned her child may have asthma. Other than that, mind your business.  readmoreoften   Feb-02-09 05:47 PM   #65 
  - That's why most kids have pediatricians  Horse with no Name   Feb-02-09 07:17 PM   #68 
  - As already has been pointed out, the child might be completely normal,  LisaL   Feb-02-09 07:21 PM   #69 
  - You don't...He's only two years old. He'll outgrow it...  cynatnite   Feb-02-09 10:19 PM   #72 
  - Why not take the nice route  Maru Kitteh   Feb-02-09 10:22 PM   #75 
  - RandySF, maybe you're the one who needs to get in better shape,  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 10:35 PM   #77 
  - How do I tell a DUer that his OP is full of shit?  Midlodemocrat   Feb-02-09 10:39 PM   #78 
  - I love this thread. A mish-mash of shit advice and ill-advisement.  flvegan   Feb-02-09 10:48 PM   #79 
  - You did, but consider what you are up against:  CreekDog   Feb-02-09 11:07 PM   #83 
  - maybe the kid has asthma?  notadmblnd   Feb-02-09 10:53 PM   #80 
  - Who knows.  LisaL   Feb-02-09 11:32 PM   #90 
  - How do I tell the author of the OP that they are the one who is out of shape?  Blue Diadem   Feb-02-09 11:03 PM   #82 
  - Don't worry about someone elses kid  Brooklyns_Finest   Feb-02-09 11:10 PM   #84 
  - There's no reason to suspect the other parent doesn't care about her child's health.  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 11:41 PM   #92 
  - which two blocks? from where to where?  CreekDog   Feb-02-09 11:10 PM   #85 
  - Muscles, bones, joints, sense of balance are all still developing in a three year old.  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 11:43 PM   #93 
  - You don't.  Lucian   Feb-02-09 11:15 PM   #86 
  - Id say its none of your business...but all of it is really none of My business.  MadBadger   Feb-02-09 11:17 PM   #87 
  - Hey, I liked  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 11:43 PM   #94 
  - I am told Weekly to STFU because i scold kids for STEALING from me. i am told that i have no right..  slampoet   Feb-02-09 11:24 PM   #88 
  - If you catch my kids stealing I hope you get on to them...  cynatnite   Feb-02-09 11:27 PM   #89 
  - You have a right to ban those parents from your store.  pnwmom   Feb-02-09 11:45 PM   #95 
  - I don't have a store, I have a farmer's market. The situation is ...well, More complicated.  slampoet   Feb-03-09 02:52 AM   #104 
  - Fucking thief kids!  JVS   Feb-03-09 12:53 AM   #100 
  - Assuming you're not their pediatrician, you don't.  LeftyMom   Feb-03-09 12:47 AM   #98 
  - Do you know their pediatrician?:  elleng   Feb-03-09 12:51 AM   #99 
  - Suggest a checkup, might be asthma. or allergy.. a common reason for kids to run out of  nadinbrzezinski   Feb-03-09 01:09 AM   #103 
  - If the child has energy in other situations -- at a park for instance --  pnwmom   Feb-03-09 09:34 AM   #112 
     - Our much older parrots suffer from this as well... they are CURIOUS  nadinbrzezinski   Feb-03-09 10:22 PM   #119 
  - I was in SF this summer for a conference.  BamaGirl   Feb-03-09 03:13 AM   #105 
  - If the child isn't just being a stubborn three year old, then there's something medically wrong with  TwilightGardener   Feb-03-09 08:50 AM   #107 
  - That really isn't true. Kids do have boundless energy at age, BUT  pnwmom   Feb-03-09 09:26 AM   #109 
     - Well, yeah--I don't know any little kid who doesn't turn into a passive-aggressive  TwilightGardener   Feb-03-09 09:33 AM   #111 
        - Exactly! Oh yes, I remember that "lump of deadweight" phenomenon!  pnwmom   Feb-03-09 09:40 AM   #116 
  - He is three. Two blocks is a long way for some healthy three yr olds.  FedUpWithIt All   Feb-03-09 09:03 AM   #108 
  - Good answer. And some of those hills in San Francisco are pretty steep  pnwmom   Feb-03-09 09:30 AM   #110 
  - I agree  gollygee   Feb-03-09 09:38 AM   #115 
  - Use telepathy  JVS   Feb-03-09 09:36 AM   #113 
  - Say, "Damn! Your kid's out of shape!"  Iggo   Feb-03-09 09:37 AM   #114 
  - No, don't leave it at that. Be sure to add:  pnwmom   Feb-03-09 09:44 AM   #117 
  - You could say: "I need you to leave John's stroller here with me. He still needs it when  pnwmom   Feb-03-09 10:03 AM   #118 
  - The day will come when she no longer can push the stroller. He will have to walk then.  appleannie1   Feb-03-09 11:11 PM   #121 
 

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