Reply #58: I'm in the same boat, almost...

[sakura]

My son is almost nine, about your son's age, and I know it troubles him at times that I am overweight. But we've talked about it and it makes him even happier that I volunteer at his school. His situation may be different from your son's. He is surrounded by math and science types, so the dorkiness amoung students and parents is a bit higher than normal. Maybe that makes a difference-- a lot of his peers felt weird and excluded before finding this school. I do know that he's heard ugly comments about me from some of his classmates, though. The girls in his class can be pretty vicious.

Although it hasn't happened yet, I do expect that at some point, my son will find my weight to be so embarrassing that he'll want me to stay away from school. What I've decided is that I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to hide myself away because my son is worried about others' intolerance. I'm not going to hide from him the fact that people can be creepy and ugly in their thoughts and actions. What I'm hoping he'll learn (and what I hope I'll be able to help him with) is how to stand up to people. That's the only possible way to change their preconceptions.

I think what most people (including one particularly ugly poster on this thread) don't understand is that if you've been battling the bulge your entire life, it's not very likely that you'll be able to take it off and KEEP it off. Studies have shown time and again that the body has a set point, and that once one is overweight, the body tries to keep you at that weight. It's not that losing the weight is impossible for most-- it's the keeping it off that's almost impossible. What's more important is to be healthy-- to exercise and eat healthily, and to make sure the things you can control you do control. That's what I'm trying to do. I exercise vigorously three times a week. My cholesterol and other blood values are far better than my those of my thin, active husband. My doctor has read the literature and knows that saying, "just eat less," isn't going to help.

The truth is you can be healthy AND overweight. The two don't exclude each other.

The other thing people don't understand is that being overweight is NOT about self control. Study after study backs this up.

It seems like overweight is the last acceptable thing to bash people over. It will be nice when that finally changes.

In the meantime, don't hide the wonderful person that you obviously are.