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Reply #73: aznick, i will be the first mother to say how sorry i am that you experienced the [View All]

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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-11-08 05:20 PM
Response to Reply #1
73. aznick, i will be the first mother to say how sorry i am that you experienced the
Edited on Sat Oct-11-08 05:21 PM by seabeyond
abuse you did and you were not protected when you should have been. were not safe as you should have been. and thank you even with your experience that you were able to bring it to a place of healing in yourself that you did not perpetuate abuse.
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  -Canada judge tells woman not to call police if battered again ccharles000  Oct-11-08 12:20 AM   #0 
  - He probably has seen many before...  AzNick   Oct-11-08 12:28 AM   #1 
  - .  kgfnally   Oct-11-08 12:35 AM   #5 
  - Any stats on how many Canadian battered women are murdered when trying to leave?  Oregone   Oct-11-08 01:11 AM   #13 
  - The problem with that theory is that this woman had the guts to take the guy to court.  OmelasExpat   Oct-11-08 12:37 AM   #6 
  - Why do you go back with someone who beats you?  AzNick   Oct-11-08 12:44 AM   #7 
     - Why do you keep hitting your wife?  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 12:48 AM   #9 
     - Both my mother and myself were abused by my 1st stepdad  AzNick   Oct-11-08 03:55 PM   #61 
        - So you are still angry at your abused mother and making excuses for your abusive stepfather  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 04:39 PM   #68 
        - Yep, indeed.  AzNick   Oct-11-08 05:20 PM   #74 
        - I was in the same situation, and my mother never left my stepdad.  OmelasExpat   Oct-11-08 11:44 PM   #111 
     - because they're sick in the head  Clovis Sangrail   Oct-11-08 12:51 AM   #10 
     - And you help them by blaming them for someone else's abuse?  Triana   Oct-11-08 09:21 PM   #100 
        - how the hell did I blame them?  Clovis Sangrail   Oct-11-08 10:32 PM   #101 
     - "Assholism should not be tolerated in a civil society" isn't logical enough for you?  OmelasExpat   Oct-11-08 12:57 AM   #12 
     - Because the abuser threatens your parents, your kids and your friends with death  lunatica   Oct-11-08 02:15 PM   #38 
     - A lot of the time, it's because they have no means of self-support  LeftyMom   Oct-11-08 03:02 PM   #53 
     - When you're battered, leaving your home is the last thing you want to do.  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 07:13 PM   #89 
     - There probably is no "logical" explanation...  Vektor   Oct-11-08 04:21 PM   #66 
     - Well, for some, they don't have the financial  awoke_in_2003   Oct-11-08 04:29 PM   #67 
     - Good for you!  LeftyMom   Oct-11-08 07:22 PM   #90 
        - I do not endorse violence...  awoke_in_2003   Oct-11-08 07:29 PM   #92 
           - I understand.  LeftyMom   Oct-11-08 07:43 PM   #94 
     - You need to read this:  Stellabella   Oct-11-08 10:34 PM   #102 
        - quit blaming the victim..... wasnt he a victim, more so than his mother? n/t  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 10:53 PM   #103 
           - Of course children are the victims of spousal abuse.  Stellabella   Oct-11-08 10:55 PM   #104 
              - but this is what i dont get. any reason the woman is in that position she is victim  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 11:02 PM   #106 
                 - There are many, many, many reasons why women stay  Stellabella   Oct-11-08 11:05 PM   #107 
                    - as many mixed up psychological reason there is a woman stays, this man has the mixed  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 11:15 PM   #108 
                       - But the problem is blaming mom and not blaming the abuser.  PeaceNikki   Oct-11-08 11:41 PM   #110 
                          - i think if you read his post, he certainly has no love for this man and i do not  seabeyond   Oct-12-08 12:26 AM   #113 
                             - Read post 68.  Stellabella   Oct-12-08 11:43 AM   #122 
                                - wtf.... 68 is a poster accusing him of making excuses, NOT him making excuses. he wanted to kick  seabeyond   Oct-12-08 11:50 AM   #123 
                                   - What part of this don't you understand?  Stellabella   Oct-12-08 02:27 PM   #124 
  - So...  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 12:45 AM   #8 
  - Yea, cause it's so easy for a woman with a suitcase and a bunch  lizzy   Oct-11-08 12:55 AM   #11 
  - So you agree with the judge - blame the victim  lunatica   Oct-11-08 02:13 PM   #37 
  - I, for one, say the "Dumb idiots" are the FUCKING ABUSERS.  PeaceNikki   Oct-11-08 02:19 PM   #41 
  - Blame the victim. Nice!  Blue State Native   Oct-11-08 04:09 PM   #64 
  - And it's just that fucking simple, huh?  Chulanowa   Oct-11-08 04:53 PM   #71 
  - aznick, i will be the first mother to say how sorry i am that you experienced the  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 05:20 PM   #73 
  - A Canadian judge needs to be disbarred and forced to work in a women's shelter.  OmelasExpat   Oct-11-08 12:33 AM   #2 
  - Didn't read the actual article did you!  whistler162   Oct-11-08 04:32 AM   #18 
     - You don't know anything about the psychology of batterers (or their victims) do you?  BlueIris   Oct-11-08 05:06 AM   #19 
     - But according to the article, only the woman had the physical evidence to prove an assault on her.  OmelasExpat   Oct-11-08 09:53 AM   #23 
  - What a relief  Orrex   Oct-11-08 12:33 AM   #3 
  - I can see how she would be upset  Clovis Sangrail   Oct-11-08 12:35 AM   #4 
  - Two interesting twists from the actual article  whistler162   Oct-11-08 02:00 AM   #14 
  - I don't know if he should have dismissed the charges  dwickham   Oct-11-08 02:23 AM   #15 
  - Please read some of this information, and rethink your position  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 02:32 AM   #16 
  - Thanks for posting some hard facts for those in denial of the reality of violence against women.  BlueIris   Oct-11-08 05:08 AM   #20 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Oct-11-08 06:10 AM   #22 
  - Clearly you understood nothing in those links  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 12:01 PM   #26 
     - Deleted message  Name removed   Oct-11-08 12:49 PM   #29 
  - I don't need to read it  dwickham   Oct-12-08 01:50 AM   #114 
     - Fine  Book Lover   Oct-12-08 02:59 AM   #116 
        - what anger  dwickham   Oct-12-08 03:10 AM   #117 
           - Yes, but she'll walk away and he'll abuse another.  PeaceNikki   Oct-12-08 09:06 AM   #121 
  - Most women who are murdered are killed by their husbands or boyfriends  lunatica   Oct-11-08 02:40 PM   #47 
  - What an ignorant @sshole. I hope this judge gets his remote kick and high.  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 03:15 AM   #17 
  - It's possible that the judge viewed the situation as a two-sided game  bean fidhleir   Oct-11-08 05:32 AM   #21 
  - So you think taking someone to court for beating you up is akin to beating someone up?  gollygee   Oct-11-08 09:58 AM   #24 
  - It is if it's part of a game.  bean fidhleir   Oct-11-08 10:28 AM   #25 
  - That wasn't the point...  Realityhack   Oct-11-08 12:37 PM   #27 
  - So she wasn't showing the proper feminine passivity in her response?  thecatburgler   Oct-11-08 12:47 PM   #28 
     - No, judging solely by the article, she's behaving in an inauthentic, gamey way  bean fidhleir   Oct-11-08 02:24 PM   #43 
  - as a woman, i am not totally opposed to what the judge is saying. and even the womans  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 01:33 PM   #30 
  - When you blame the victim, when you create an atmosphere of judgment  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 01:50 PM   #31 
     - i am very much into woman rights, i am also into personal responsibility  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 01:55 PM   #32 
        - And how often have you connected to the abusers?  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 01:59 PM   #33 
        - to the abuser? abuse: wrong, bad, no, not ok, no excuse. not a tough one there. that one is real  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 02:08 PM   #35 
           - So the answer to my question is no  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 02:16 PM   #39 
              - no that is not my answer. you interpret wrong. i am not the enemy and not here  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 02:35 PM   #45 
                 - Thank you for your answer  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 02:43 PM   #50 
                    - i watched my brother and sister in law do this dance for 12 years  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 03:48 PM   #57 
                       - Thank you very much  Book Lover   Oct-11-08 04:40 PM   #69 
        - Personal responsibility is not the antithesis of victim.  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 02:05 PM   #34 
        - nor did i say that it was. but i could also suggest no responsibility for being in a  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 02:11 PM   # 
           - Blame is not empowering. Judgment is not supportive. Lectures  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 02:17 PM   #40 
           - i have also dealt with women that will not honesty look at all sides, angles  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 02:38 PM   #46 
              - The really disturbing part is that the judge said NOT TO CALL THE POLICE IF IT HAPPENED AGAIN  PeaceNikki   Oct-11-08 02:41 PM   #49 
              - They don't deal "honestly"?  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 03:08 PM   #54 
           - Personal responsibility gets trumped by terror  lunatica   Oct-11-08 02:26 PM   #44 
              - you miss the point or misinterpret what i say, or refuse to be open  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 02:40 PM   #48 
                 - And you are using sweeping generalizations  lunatica   Oct-11-08 02:54 PM   #52 
                    - firstly, you do not know my experiences, so please do not assume  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 03:10 PM   #55 
                       - Well I won't attack you for being raped, ever and under any circumstances  lunatica   Oct-11-08 03:51 PM   #59 
                          - post 57... even if i see that i have some part in my own rape  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 04:04 PM   #63 
                          - then rather than say they lack personal responsibility while in an abusive situation  lunatica   Oct-11-08 05:23 PM   #76 
                             - except that isn't true. and if they never hear it then they may never get there  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 05:31 PM   #77 
                                - It's not up to you to decide what is true for other people.  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 07:12 PM   #88 
                                   - my gosh sf you do it to every poster without hesitation if they do not fall into line with you  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 07:40 PM   #93 
                                      - I'm going to get out of the way of this entire movie you're projecting all over the place.  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 07:52 PM   #95 
                          - do you want to know my point of bringing in the rape. look at aznick and his thread  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 05:17 PM   #72 
                             - And my point is blaming the victim is NEVER right.  lunatica   Oct-11-08 05:36 PM   #78 
                                - blaming the victim is NEVER right.... aznick is the ultimate VICTIM and i am addressing  seabeyond   Oct-11-08 05:55 PM   #79 
        - 'Personal responsiblity' is crap when applied to abused women.  Stellabella   Oct-11-08 10:56 PM   #105 
  - Why do we have so many dumb judges here?  HEyHEY   Oct-11-08 02:11 PM   #36 
  - Like this one  PeaceNikki   Oct-11-08 02:47 PM   #51 
  - This thread is full of a lot of stupid.  PeaceNikki   Oct-11-08 02:22 PM   #42 
  - Yes, it sure is.  gollygee   Oct-11-08 03:12 PM   #56 
  - I was going to respond to PeaceNikki but you nailed it in topic and body.  Poll_Blind   Oct-11-08 03:53 PM   #60 
  - i agree  awoke_in_2003   Oct-11-08 04:48 PM   #70 
  - I cannot believe this thread has turned to blaming the woman - where is the outrage about the man..  Triana   Oct-11-08 08:42 PM   #97 
     - I can. That's how this place rolls, sometimes.  PeaceNikki   Oct-11-08 11:23 PM   #109 
  - Wow, is all I can say. Rec  sarcasmo   Oct-11-08 03:50 PM   #58 
  - Violence against women is a MEN'S issue  PeaceNikki   Oct-11-08 03:56 PM   #62 
  - the first time a victim  MrsBrady   Oct-11-08 04:15 PM   #65 
  - You need to learn something about this topic before you repeat this stuff again.  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 05:23 PM   #75 
     - first hand experience is enough n/t  MrsBrady   Oct-11-08 06:14 PM   #80 
        - Then, you might want to consider that your experience is yours  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 06:21 PM   #81 
           - i can think what i want  MrsBrady   Oct-11-08 06:32 PM   #82 
              - Exactly. And it works both ways.  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 06:41 PM   #83 
                 - you are the one that responded to me n/t  MrsBrady   Oct-11-08 06:54 PM   #84 
                    - Yes. You're right. I did do that. n/t  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 06:55 PM   #85 
  - I understand what the judge meant. They get frustrated with women who keep going back..  progressivebydesign   Oct-11-08 07:07 PM   #86 
  - Yes. It's much easier to get frustrated than to actually make a difference. nt  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 07:11 PM   #87 
  - Oh the poor judge!  lunatica   Oct-11-08 07:23 PM   #91 
  - It's sort of weird the way people don't see that trading one abusive  sfexpat2000   Oct-11-08 07:56 PM   #96 
     - on a Democratic website it is beyond 'weird"  Skittles   Oct-11-08 09:03 PM   #99 
  - The police and judicial system DO NOT keep helping them out of there..  Triana   Oct-11-08 08:47 PM   #98 
  - oh boofuckinghoo for that judge.  chimpsrsmarter   Oct-11-08 11:46 PM   #112 
  - A reply to those who agree with the judges decision  JonLP24   Oct-12-08 02:17 AM   #115 
  - That's a description specifically of a criminal psychopath. Fortunately, they're rare.  bean fidhleir   Oct-12-08 08:18 AM   #118 
     - You're right  JonLP24   Oct-13-08 02:07 AM   #125 
  - Dude - I gotta ask: What's with the stalker-pic in your sig?  BlooInBloo   Oct-12-08 08:19 AM   #119 
     - ...  ccharles000   Oct-12-08 09:06 AM   #120 

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