Reply #81: My gender is more obvious than my race. I'll explain.

[Pacifist Patriot]

When couples are seeking an independent officiant they can use wedding planning sites that work in a couple of different ways.

Some collect minimal information about the event then send leads via email to officiants in the geographic area to follow up on their own. So the couple has no clue who is going to contact them.

Some allow the couple to browse through a list of officiants in the area and decide whom they would like to contact. My name is obviously female so anyone preferring a male wouldn't bother to select me as a possible candidate.

The reason I know so many people have a preference for male clergy is because of one lead generating site that allows the couple to indicate if they have a gender preference. I saw a number of leads come through specifying males (never specifying female by the way) should respond to the lead. Obviously, I did not remain listed at that site for very long.

My name and face are obviously female so anyone finding me directly through my own website who prefers a male minister would not bother to contact me.

Thus, I've never been placed in the position to decline due to gender preference. Unless you want to count responding, "Not Interested" to the leads requesting a male respond. Since I never spoke to the bride and groom I don't consider that declining a request to officiate a wedding. I did, however, contact the lead site and let them know I thought that particular screening question was inappropriate. No response of course.