XOKCowboy
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Sun Jul-13-08 06:30 PM
Response to Reply #45 |
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Well I guess I missed the racism but might have gotten just a touch of sexism (which I fight every day!!)  |
| -First wedding I will decline to officiate. I'm still reeling after the call. |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 04:41 PM |
#0 |
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So creepy. You didn't need that gig. n/t |
sfexpat2000 |
Jul-13-08 04:42 PM |
#1 |
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This is weird. As more time passes my body is actually starting to have a physical shaky reaction. |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 04:44 PM |
#2 |
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shake off the bad vibes she had hanging around her |
ayeshahaqqiqa |
Jul-13-08 04:45 PM |
#8 |
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I'm so sorry. And you know once you got there, it would only have gotten worse. |
sfexpat2000 |
Jul-13-08 04:46 PM |
#9 |
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it's amazing that an educated person would feel in anyway comfortable asking that question |
spanone |
Jul-13-08 04:59 PM |
#24 |
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Good Choice |
DarthDem |
Jul-13-08 04:44 PM |
#3 |
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No, I don't think you are |
ayeshahaqqiqa |
Jul-13-08 04:44 PM |
#4 |
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I was surprised too because most people get my contact information from my website... |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 04:46 PM |
#10 |
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Bravo for you! I hope you don't find my question rude, but |
Catch22Dem |
Jul-13-08 04:44 PM |
#5 |
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Let's just say it was most fitting. *grin* |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 04:49 PM |
#15 |
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You're awesome! |
Catch22Dem |
Jul-13-08 04:53 PM |
#22 |
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Cool! That'd be my second DU union. ;-) |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 04:55 PM |
#23 |
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I think you are right to decline. |
cbayer |
Jul-13-08 04:45 PM |
#6 |
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No, you are not off base! |
midnight |
Jul-13-08 04:45 PM |
#7 |
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Tell her 'Human' |
Ikonoklast |
Jul-13-08 04:46 PM |
#11 |
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That's the one |
krispos42 |
Jul-13-08 04:49 PM |
#16 |
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I don't think you are, but I can sorta understand her. |
knitter4democracy |
Jul-13-08 04:47 PM |
#12 |
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I wanted my union with my husband to be sacred... |
zanne |
Jul-14-08 07:42 AM |
#78 |
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We were married by a judge at the courthouse.... |
Bettie |
Jul-14-08 07:59 AM |
#82 |
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Both our families were Catholic... |
zanne |
Jul-14-08 08:05 AM |
#83 |
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Are we SILs? |
knitter4democracy |
Jul-14-08 09:18 AM |
#88 |
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Good idea! |
knitter4democracy |
Jul-14-08 09:18 AM |
#87 |
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Easily 1/3 of weddings I officiate have 10 people or fewer. One of the things... |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-15-08 06:08 AM |
#94 |
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And, for women who don't enjoy being the center of attention... |
zanne |
Jul-15-08 08:07 AM |
#95 |
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Those sound perfect. |
knitter4democracy |
Jul-15-08 08:35 AM |
#96 |
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the minister in my family got a call... |
grasswire |
Jul-13-08 04:48 PM |
#13 |
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I would tell her that i would officiate, but I would not backdate papers |
MiniMe |
Jul-13-08 05:49 PM |
#40 |
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My contract explicitly states that I cannot legally perform a valid marriage ceremony... |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 06:26 PM |
#46 |
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yep -- this was a next-day call |
grasswire |
Jul-13-08 07:36 PM |
#55 |
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I hope they went forward with their wedding. It's exactly what gay people do all over the country. |
yardwork |
Jul-13-08 10:52 PM |
#62 |
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I've performed a number of symbolic commitment ceremonies for heterosexual couples... |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-14-08 05:48 AM |
#75 |
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Wow. |
LeftyMom |
Jul-13-08 04:48 PM |
#14 |
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If you had some racist relatives |
morgan2 |
Jul-13-08 04:50 PM |
#17 |
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I do have racist relatives. They didn't come to my wedding. |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 04:50 PM |
#18 |
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I had racist relatives and guess what? |
onethatcares |
Jul-13-08 05:26 PM |
#33 |
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PP a question... |
XOKCowboy |
Jul-13-08 06:08 PM |
#42 |
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Indeed I do. My grandparents were racist and my parents are most decidedly not. |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 06:21 PM |
#45 |
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OOoops! |
XOKCowboy |
Jul-13-08 06:30 PM |
#47 |
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If I had racist relatives, they wouldn't ruin my wedding by being invited. n/t |
sfexpat2000 |
Jul-13-08 04:51 PM |
#20 |
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My wife and I had that problem |
deadmessengers |
Jul-13-08 05:48 PM |
#39 |
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my racist relatives |
barbtries |
Jul-14-08 05:36 AM |
#72 |
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Maybe you can negotiate a settlement in their divorce instead |
Lastlaughin08 |
Jul-13-08 04:50 PM |
#19 |
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I handled the divorces of several people whose weddings I had |
rzemanfl |
Jul-13-08 05:19 PM |
#32 |
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Excellent choice |
Warpy |
Jul-13-08 04:51 PM |
#21 |
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Yes, you are. |
Somawas |
Jul-13-08 05:03 PM |
#25 |
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So what would you call someone who accomodates racists? |
sfexpat2000 |
Jul-13-08 05:04 PM |
#26 |
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That's where I am coming from. |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 05:08 PM |
#29 |
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It wouldn't be good for them, in the first place. |
sfexpat2000 |
Jul-13-08 06:12 PM |
#44 |
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Enablers |
Oeditpus Rex |
Jul-13-08 06:38 PM |
#51 |
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Unfortunate. |
Donald Ian Rankin |
Jul-13-08 06:57 PM |
#53 |
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I can't speak for anyone else but I've had to negotiate a situation |
sfexpat2000 |
Jul-14-08 02:20 PM |
#92 |
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I'd call that person naive, insecure,immature, etc. |
Gormy Cuss |
Jul-13-08 08:34 PM |
#58 |
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Pragmatic. |
Somawas |
Jul-14-08 09:31 PM |
#93 |
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I disagree. I think that that approach simply enables people. |
yardwork |
Jul-13-08 10:56 PM |
#63 |
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You should have asked if her relatives were good Christian racists. |
Vinca |
Jul-13-08 05:06 PM |
#27 |
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I wouldn't do it either. nt |
thecatburgler |
Jul-13-08 05:07 PM |
#28 |
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And she thinks God is interested in perpetuating her biases??? |
bobbolink |
Jul-13-08 05:09 PM |
#30 |
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I was a wedding professional for more than 10 years. |
asdjrocky |
Jul-13-08 05:12 PM |
#31 |
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Good for you. |
Chovexani |
Jul-13-08 05:34 PM |
#36 |
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Wow, just wow. |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 05:38 PM |
#37 |
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Yeah, and here I am, in blue Ca. |
asdjrocky |
Jul-13-08 05:53 PM |
#41 |
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D'oh! |
Mopar151 |
Jul-13-08 11:21 PM |
#66 |
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No kidding.... |
asdjrocky |
Jul-14-08 07:42 AM |
#79 |
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White pointy hoods don't go well with traditional wedding attire, anyway. |
Lastlaughin08 |
Jul-13-08 05:29 PM |
#34 |
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I wouldn't have done it |
TechBear_Seattle |
Jul-13-08 05:32 PM |
#35 |
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OK I can understand a bride not wanting her racist father ruining her wedding.... |
XOKCowboy |
Jul-13-08 05:42 PM |
#38 |
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So, you know a racist is funding your wedding and you do what? |
sfexpat2000 |
Jul-13-08 06:10 PM |
#43 |
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To each his/her own |
mutley_r_us |
Jul-13-08 06:39 PM |
#52 |
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I most certainly would not make accomodations to those members of my family. |
mutley_r_us |
Jul-13-08 06:30 PM |
#48 |
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Suprised white person #4657435236475.... |
BlooInBloo |
Jul-13-08 06:33 PM |
#49 |
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ha! |
Number23 |
Jul-14-08 05:52 AM |
#76 |
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It is shocking when you run into such blatant racism. |
whereismyparty |
Jul-13-08 06:35 PM |
#50 |
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Even Jenna Bush |
latebloomer |
Jul-13-08 07:04 PM |
#54 |
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Principles are important. |
Edweird |
Jul-13-08 08:20 PM |
#56 |
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You should have told them about the gay wedding you officiated. |
Starbucks Anarchist |
Jul-13-08 08:27 PM |
#57 |
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That would be probably okay with them.... |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-13-08 08:39 PM |
#59 |
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But their tattoos were showing! |
LeftyMom |
Jul-13-08 11:22 PM |
#67 |
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LOL! I'd forgotten that. |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-14-08 05:46 AM |
#74 |
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Good for you! |
cat_girl25 |
Jul-13-08 09:49 PM |
#60 |
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My father was a very strict Baptist minister |
rebel with a cause |
Jul-13-08 10:46 PM |
#61 |
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That's an interesting story! What was shocking about their appearances? |
yardwork |
Jul-13-08 11:01 PM |
#64 |
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This was in the mid sixties and in a small town. |
rebel with a cause |
Jul-14-08 12:26 AM |
#68 |
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I can see why it was upsetting to your family. Would have been to me, too. |
yardwork |
Jul-14-08 10:52 AM |
#91 |
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Actually, something happened like this in my family, but it ended well |
OmahaBlueDog |
Jul-13-08 11:03 PM |
#65 |
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I recalled one wedding |
fortyfeetunder |
Jul-14-08 01:46 AM |
#69 |
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PP, you're doing the right thing |
JulieRB |
Jul-14-08 01:56 AM |
#70 |
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i think you're exactly right |
barbtries |
Jul-14-08 05:32 AM |
#71 |
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Not at all. I'd make my bigoted relatives squirm or uninvite them. n/t |
ms liberty |
Jul-14-08 05:45 AM |
#73 |
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This is the FIRST* wedding you've declined to officiate, but |
RedShoes |
Jul-14-08 07:37 AM |
#77 |
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My gender is more obvious than my race. I'll explain. |
Pacifist Patriot |
Jul-14-08 07:49 AM |
#81 |
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wow....was she related to Jesse Helms? |
Blue_Tires |
Jul-14-08 07:47 AM |
#80 |
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Wow. Good for you! |
ThomCat |
Jul-14-08 08:15 AM |
#84 |
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Holy shit. |
BlueIris |
Jul-14-08 09:08 AM |
#85 |
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brides are nuts. |
mopinko |
Jul-14-08 09:11 AM |
#86 |
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See. Twenty years later, nothing has changed. |
The Backlash Cometh |
Jul-14-08 09:27 AM |
#89 |
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That's a shame!!! |
Beacool |
Jul-14-08 10:04 AM |
#90 |
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No, you are not off base. |
Mad_Dem_X |
Jul-15-08 08:55 AM |
#97 |
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