Reply #90: This is Pretty Much My Approach, Too

[Hidden Stillness]

I think this post comes closest to what I have tried to do, the few times I have been able to have a discussion with anti-abortion people on this issue, when it managed not to become a hysterical accusation-fest on their side. Don't let them fly off into their fantasy-world "protecing babies," or "selfish women getting abortions like they were buying a new hat," "immoral Democrat Party," etc. There is nowhere for that to go but further and further from actual reality, and more stressfully emotional.

Being sprecific, and with real world examples, as you mentioned, is the best way, I think, to get a sympathetic response for a presentation of the woman's (or, God help us, girl's), terrible problem, and to slow the thinking down, to calm it down, enough to really consider things that after all happen in the real world. I do not allow people to say--if at all possible--stupid stereotypes about "women getting multiple abortions as birth control," "they regret it after," when there are no real studies showing any such thing, etc., but instead try to stay on examples that everyone agrees could and do happen. Girls raped by their mother's boyfriend and the mother is in denial--what do they do; they have no one to turn to? Women who do not want children--ask yourself, do you really want that child forced into that situation, where they will probably spend a lifetime being abused, as has happened? And if you say, "They should put them up for adoption," you cannot make the rules for these things, and generally, they do not do that, but keep and then abuse them. Face things as they really happen.

Countries where women have rights, have available abortion. Countries where women are oppressed, do not--that is the pattern; not "privacy" or anything else. This point should be stressed too, because many women you think are "conservative" will also wake up when you describe to them what women live like and suffer. Everybody knows it at some level. Also, I never relate it to religion, and I am a deeply religious person. I have always related it only to feminism and women's rights, and that is where it belongs. Again, I agree with your approach--I also try not to get into a fight or slogan match, but keep explaining examples, and the way some people in the world do get themselves into a situation you wish they hadn't, it was "stupid," etc., fine--but here they are, and what do you do to help--or further hurt--them? It would be nice if everyone's behavior was just perfect all the time, and we never caused ourselves any of our own problems--but we all do, and now what? Do you help? Will you think?