If the New Right had been around through history

[ck4829]

After Pearl Harbor:
"President Bush has told the world that the response to the attack on Pearl Harbor would be swift and without mercy. Instead of invading Japan, Bush plans to invade the country of Brazil, a country that had nothing to do with the attack."

Response to Brown V. Board of Education:
"Judicial Tyranny" - Phyllis Schlafly
"Bunch of unelected dictators trying to tell us that we can and can't do" - Gary Bauer
"BWAAAA!!!! LIBERAL ALIEN JUDGES THINKING THEY CAN CONTROL ME!!! HAHAHA, I'M WEARING MY TINFOIL HAT!!!!!!" - Michael Savage

The Spanish Inquisition:
"Neo-Conservative scholars have sent memos to Tomas de Torquemada, saying that it is justified to use waterboarding on the heretics, as well as rendition kidnappings, where the heretics are taken out of Spain and sent to England, where torture is legal."

The Russian Revolution:
"Oliver North, Elliot Abrams, and others have come up with a plan to stop Lenin, and that is to supply the League of Puppy Launchers with money, advisers, as well as letting them ship opium to the United States. The League of Puppy Launchers are true to their name, they also steal candy from babies, as well as killing innocent people. In fact, the leader of the league has said that if put in power, they would kill three times more people than Lenin or any other Marxist leader could ever dream of doing. Oliver North has said that this is the best way to stop Lenin though."

65 million years ago:
"This asteroid is the judgment of God against the dinosaurs" - John Hagee
"Maybe it's time to punish the dinosaurs, it's not our fault if they couldn't escape this disaster" - Rick Santorum
"Don't worry lil' dinosaur buddies, I'm sending FEMA and some no-bid contractors to go and help you out!" - Bush