Reply #10: Possible funeral oration

[Boojatta]

Judge, O you gods, how dearly Russert loved potato chips! This was the most unkindest cut of all; For when the noble Russert felt his veins clogging, Russert's awareness of the Ingratitude of those potato chips vanquish'd him. Then burst his mighty heart.

Great Russert fell. O, what a fall was there, my countrymen! Then I, and you, and all of us fell down, Whilst bloody treason flourish'd over us.

Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up To such a sudden flood of mutiny. They that have done this deed are honorable potato chips. What private griefs they have, alas, I know not, That made them do it. They are wise and honorable potato chips, And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you. I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts. I am no orator, as Bush is;

I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth, Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech, to stir men's blood. I only speak right on; I tell you that which you yourselves do know; Show you sweet Russert's aorta, And bid it speak for me. But were I a potato chip, there would I put salt In every wound of Russert that should move The cold stones of Rome to rise and mutiny.