Why gay equality means equality and not special rights

[foreigncorrespondent]

I am so tired of seeing people say as a gay person in this world I have the same rights as everyone else. That is a myth. If I was born straight, I would have the same rights as everyone else, but because I am born queer, I am robbed of the same rights as everybody else.

Granted, being in Australia, I actually do have a few more rights under my belt, than my queer brothers and sisters currently enjoy in the U.S. The only thing I am likely to never have the right to enjoy here is marriage. John Howard saw to that when he wrote discrimination into our constitution banning any and all recognition of same sex marriage.

7 years ago I met a wonderful American woman. We fell head over heels for one another, hard and fast.

After a wonderful honeymoon period, in 2002 I was the partner who had to face coming back to Australia, and she was the partner who had to face the grim reality that after putting me on a plane I wouldn't be there when she returned home.

For the next 5 years our reality was, with each passing year, we had no idea when we would see each other. Each year someone would help us financially fund a trip for her to come here to Australia, just so we could enjoy a 4 week period together. But even that generosity couldn't last.

It is very costly to pay for trips to Australia, and last year we faced the grim reality of not actually seeing each other at all. And now, due to relationship break down, we won't be seeing each other again.

Every single day somewhere in the United States queer binational couples face this reality. Is there relationship going to be able to survive the distance/the borders/the finance it takes to be together even for four weeks a year?

Every single day, somewhere in the United States a gay person who has been loved by another, is laying in a hospital bed. They are dying and they know it, but their family is bigoted and never supported this dying persons relationship because it wasn't "normal." The last thing this dying person sees isn't this persons lover, but the faces of the people who kept his/her lover from seeing them. The very people who saw this person as not being "normal."


Come tax time in the United States you can guarantee that there is a same sex couple somewhere struggling with the grim reality of trying to raise the money to pay two separate tax bills, because their relationship isn't recognized as being a valid relationship by taxation laws.

Right now, somewhere in the United States a gay couple is having a baby. They face the grim reality that their family will not be recognized as a family by many including the government, because their family doesn't fit the nuclear definition of what a family is.

Right now somewhere in the United States a gay person is being forced by family to attend an "ex gay" group to go through the process of having their "illness cured" because people (including people in government) believe this person isn't "normal" because this person doesn't fit the biblical definition of what a "normal" person is all about.

Quite possibly right now in the United States a gay person is in the fight for his/her life because he/she is being beaten to death by bigots. These bigots will later come to claim "gay panic" in a court of law. This beating will be seen by many as the right thing to do because it rids the world of one more "fagot"/dyke. Hence saving the children from being "brainwashed" into an "immoral" way of living. When really, this crime should be seen as a hate crime, because it was hate that lead to this person being beaten. There is no other reason for it.

So tomorrow when you are faced with the reality of having to kiss your partner goodbye at the door as they leave for work, that one of your fellow citizens is kissing their partner goodbye at the airport, not knowing when they will next be together.

So tomorrow when you are faced with the grim reality that your partner is laying in a hospital bed dying, be thankful that there isn't a single person out there who can keep you from being with that person one more time. Then look in the bed next to your partner, that person could be a gay person who is surrounded by people who kept his/her partner from being with them one last time.

When you and your husband/wife file tax this year, and only have to struggle with paying the one bill, remember there is a gay couple out there who are going to struggle with trying to raise the money to pay two.

So if you have kids or when you have kids be grateful in the knowledge that your family fits the nuclear definition of what a family is, and that you will get to enjoy so much more than the family living next door to you with either two mommies or two daddies.

And be grateful the next time you see an "ex gay" group out there telling the world that "homosexuality can be cured" that you will never have to face going through the same torture and brainwashing process to be rid of your heterosexuality.

Be thankful that the next time you wish to talk about your belief as to why queers shouldn't marry, are not "normal", etc, that it isn't the queers that are in majority and not in the position of giving you the same treatment you give us.