Reply #81: Critical of them

[Madspirit]

First, please forgive the long and rambling nature of my response. I did not sleep all night.

I hate to criticize anything that works for someone but I am highly critical of AA and their ilk. What Stephen King said is one of the reasons. How dare they say that. AA brags about their success rate without ever bringing up their 70% relapse rate. They are overly into god, though many have progressed past that, to some degree. They condemn any other method and they often criticize psychiatric drugs. They are simple-minded in their denial of other mental illnesses and they don't get that many alcoholics are schizophrenic or bipolar and are using alcohol to self-medicate. They say idiot things like "stinkin' thinking" meaning you should not over analyze stuff. I don't like any group that tells you not to think. They make you start over if you fall which only leads to binges. I went to an AA meeting once and they were discussing a woman who had been sober for 35 years and fell off the wagon. After she went back on the wagon she had to say she had only been sober for one day or one week or whatever, rather than she had been sober for 35 years and fallen once.

I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for 15 years and I use Rational Recovery when I need to talk to someone. So don't listen to Stephen King or anyone else. I will say this. Your problem is heroin not alcohol and NA tends to be much cooler, less rigid...(they know I smoke pot and that my own shrink told me too but they don't criticize me for it. At AA my sobriety wouldn't even count because I smoke pot. Unless you are at an AA in California where they call it marijuana maintenance...<g>) My own shrink tells me to smoke pot because I have such problems with all the drugs for bipolar disorder. They make me so nauseous I can be driving down the street and I throw up on myself. Pot helps tremendously with that. So when I can't find a Rational Recovery meeting open and I am in need of a meeting I will go to an NA meeting where all are welcome and they aren't as rigid.

A wonderful woman, one of my counselors when I went through a treatment program about 25 years ago said this, about AA and I know it's classist so don't yell at me. She knew it too but didn't know how else to express this. I am also not putting down bowlers. I like to bowl. This is just to make a point. She said her college textbook said AA works best for people who are lower working class and belong to a bowling league...that kind of mentality. Not overly educated, etc. I know that's a crappy and classist way to express that but this is an important issue. ...and it's true. The people I know for whom AA has worked the best, tend to be not overly educated and not overly questioning, etc. Neither she nor I mean that example in a mean way and I wouldn't say those kinds of generalizations if this wasn't such an important issue. I just don't know how else to express that.

All that said, there are exceptions. AA and NA and all their groups tend to be fairly autonomous within certain constraints. There is one all women's AA meeting in Austin, where I live, on Saturday mornings, that is wonderful. ...but they don't follow most of AA's official crap...the Blue Book crap. So ask around. Go to a couple of meetings at different places and talk to the people.

Also, anytime anyone, including the very cool Stephen King, tells you that what you are doing WILL NOT WORK AND DOESN'T COUNT...run, run like the wind because they are more into an agenda than they are into helping.

Also, AA and NA now have official on-line meetings for people who cannot make it to a meeting.

I wish you luck and if you ever need to email me personally, do so. I am not saying all about AA is EVIL but they do need to update some. Congratulations on your 12 years. It does count. A lot. Just keep in mind, you are in control and can leave anytime you want. Some people I know who go to AA just use the ..."take what you need and leave the rest"... It works for them. It doesn't for me because I get mad at the god stuff and the turning over your will stuff, another big issue of mine about AA. I don't turn my will over to anyone and that is actually one of the steps..."turn your will over to God..." Blech. I had to fight most of my life for my rights to say what I think and question what I doubt. I am not turning my will over to anyone.
Lee