Reply #64: Thank you for sharing.

[Egalitarian]

As you've read, many thousands, perhaps millions of people feel more or less the feelings that you do. But, many of us are not exposed to the knowledge of how to relate to these feelings. I would like to suggest that your desire for knowledge is infact driven by a deep rooted desire to be helpful. Probably you realize this.

I sense is that you have not yet learned how to integrate this information in a manner that can then be shared with others when appropriate; and that allows them to truly hear and understand what you are trying to communicate.

Language can get confusing here, but from my personal experience, it is vital for me to maintain a level of groundedness, or centeredness. Some might call this place detachment. I like to see it as the realization that my thoughts are not the whole of me, but merely one aspect. I have learned to watch my thoughts, without any need to act upon them. This I find most helpful, for then I am free from them more or less. Rather than reacting to my thoughts, I am now able to respond, which to me is a huge qualitative difference both within myself and in my relationship with others.

I highly recommend a book titled, "How to be a Help Instead of a Nuisance", by Karen Kissel Wegela (spelling may be off, since I loaned the book to a friend). I'm tempted to go into details about the book, but from reading your posts, I am confident that within this book lies knowledge which you will find helpful and which can help you discover that you do have the potential of living a more fulfilled, effective life that in no way ignores the vast knowledge you have acquired. I challenge you and your desire for knowledge. Read this book. Digest it. Understand it. If you do, I believe you will find another way of knowing that will transform you life.

Cheers,
Egalitarian