Reply #19: I've never understood

[drmeow]

why some of the nicest guys I knew (and had HUGE crushes on) dated the nastiest women! There was one guy in particular I'm thinking about ... what a sweetheart. I so wanted him to notice me (he wasn't the most gorgeous guy by any means - a bit of a geek, in fact, like my husband). He was thoughtful and considerate and sweet and had a great sense of humor (probably still is all of those things) and he's probably one of the few guys other than my husband who I would say I truly loved (not just was in love with). He finally did notice me and then dumped me for being too nice to him (yes, he pretty much told me that)! Last I heard (and this was 7 years ago) he was living with someone who everyone knew was cheating on him, "made" him drop out of school (I totally supported his educational aspirations which was one of the things he said he really appreciated about me), and generally treated him like crap.

My point is that this - both men and women can be jerks in relationships, both nice guys and nice gals feel overlooked, both nice guys and nice gals are attracted to nice members of the group they find sexually attractive. Sexism is far more than how people are treated in dating relationships.