Marrah_G
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Tue Nov-13-07 07:07 AM
Response to Original message |
| 8. We need better databases |
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One large database containing not only names but also medical history would help. If both parties let the database know they are willing to be found then a reunion can be made.
I found my birth mother at 33 years old and discovered a very large family not far from where I live. The reunion would have happened a decade earlier if the process were streamlined.
I am only for disclosure when all parties involved want it. Otherwise it would lead to disaster for all involved.
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| -Should adult adoptees have access to their birth records? |
cynatnite |
Nov-13-07 06:33 AM |
#0 |
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I was adopted, and I would no more want my biological mother's privacy violated |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 06:46 AM |
#1 |
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"Birthmother Privacy" is a myth |
RadFemFL |
Nov-13-07 08:34 AM |
#24 |
| -
Are you saying that you believe adoptees/birth families should have more rights |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 08:43 AM |
#25 |
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No, that's not what I'm saying |
RadFemFL |
Nov-13-07 08:53 AM |
#26 |
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As a matter of fact, |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 09:05 AM |
#28 |
| -
Forced parental terminations are not the norm in adoption |
RadFemFL |
Nov-13-07 10:04 AM |
#34 |
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they're "not the norm"?? |
shanti |
Nov-13-07 12:19 PM |
#52 |
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No, they are not |
RadFemFL |
Nov-13-07 01:05 PM |
#56 |
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sorry, but |
shanti |
Nov-13-07 02:23 PM |
#58 |
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I'm reading between the lines here.. |
hlthe2b |
Nov-13-07 12:05 PM |
#48 |
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In fact, there is a 1969 no-contact order in place in my case, |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 12:16 PM |
#51 |
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very unfortunate... Does seem like a blanket order could be placed |
hlthe2b |
Nov-13-07 12:27 PM |
#54 |
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I agree with you |
Dorian Gray |
Nov-13-07 12:11 PM |
#50 |
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The other thing that you now encourage... |
qwlauren35 |
Nov-13-07 11:23 AM |
#41 |
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So... the kid has no knowledge of family medical history, |
kgfnally |
Nov-13-07 11:38 AM |
#43 |
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Birth parents are required to inform the agency |
NOLALady |
Nov-13-07 10:34 PM |
#106 |
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For those adoptions that are done through an agency. |
RadFemFL |
Nov-14-07 08:14 AM |
#111 |
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No they aren't. FYI. |
progressivebydesign |
Nov-14-07 11:21 PM |
#120 |
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You know those are all right-wing talking points |
RadFemFL |
Nov-13-07 11:58 AM |
#45 |
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I think secrecy is probably the most damaging thing about this |
alarimer |
Nov-13-07 07:16 PM |
#90 |
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It's economically unfair as all hell too |
thecatburgler |
Nov-13-07 08:59 AM |
#27 |
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I would agree with that and support a system in which birth parents and adoptees |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 09:11 AM |
#30 |
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I Think I'm in Agreement With You |
Crisco |
Nov-13-07 09:23 AM |
#31 |
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Thank you for that post! As a birth mother... I can attest to every word of that! n/t |
progressivebydesign |
Nov-14-07 11:17 PM |
#118 |
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I put I don't know, I am not in that situation nor do I know anyone in that situation |
debbierlus |
Nov-13-07 09:07 AM |
#29 |
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My son's father is adopted. We know his biomom but not his birth father. |
LeftyMom |
Nov-13-07 02:34 PM |
#60 |
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Easy way around this |
BoneDaddy |
Nov-13-07 06:49 AM |
#2 |
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Good idea with the "flag" thing BD |
shadowknows69 |
Nov-13-07 06:54 AM |
#4 |
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That's a good idea for future adoptions. But what about those that took place nearly 40 years ago, |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 07:02 AM |
#6 |
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Then don't consent to be 'flagged' for contact. |
Breeze54 |
Nov-13-07 07:06 AM |
#7 |
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My point is |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 07:23 AM |
#9 |
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You shouldn't but I think what they're saying |
Breeze54 |
Nov-13-07 07:28 AM |
#12 |
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It's cold here! |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 07:30 AM |
#16 |
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lmao! |
Breeze54 |
Nov-13-07 07:54 AM |
#21 |
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Ha! |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 07:57 AM |
#22 |
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all a birth mother has to do |
shanti |
Nov-13-07 12:23 PM |
#53 |
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I think the right to privacy |
BoneDaddy |
Nov-13-07 07:27 AM |
#11 |
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I think the right to privacy _period_ trumps any interest or curiosity |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 07:29 AM |
#14 |
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100% in agreement |
BoneDaddy |
Nov-13-07 07:30 AM |
#15 |
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Retroactive change on this is the sticking point for me. |
Gormy Cuss |
Nov-13-07 10:41 AM |
#37 |
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That was a story in Winkerbean comics a month or two ago |
LiberalFighter |
Nov-13-07 07:40 AM |
#18 |
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Great topic for a poll |
shadowknows69 |
Nov-13-07 06:53 AM |
#3 |
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The missing piece |
me b zola |
Nov-13-07 03:39 PM |
#63 |
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People change their minds over time. |
Breeze54 |
Nov-13-07 06:55 AM |
#5 |
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True |
BoneDaddy |
Nov-13-07 07:29 AM |
#13 |
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We need better databases |
Marrah_G |
Nov-13-07 07:07 AM |
#8 |
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There can be medical implications. Maybe not release the |
Lint Head |
Nov-13-07 07:27 AM |
#10 |
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my mother was adopted |
CountAllVotes |
Nov-13-07 11:06 AM |
#39 |
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Another adoptee here. In NY you can have the file flagged... |
WePurrsevere |
Nov-13-07 07:31 AM |
#17 |
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I voted "no" |
midlife_mo_Jo |
Nov-13-07 07:46 AM |
#19 |
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I'm really surprised at the lopsidedness of the votes so far. |
Vickers |
Nov-13-07 07:50 AM |
#20 |
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Same here... |
cynatnite |
Nov-13-07 08:09 AM |
#23 |
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Why? |
Crisco |
Nov-13-07 09:25 AM |
#32 |
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I just thought people would split fairly evenly over the issue... |
cynatnite |
Nov-13-07 10:00 AM |
#33 |
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Me, too. I voted "no" because I feel that the privacy concerns and |
Vickers |
Nov-13-07 01:46 PM |
#57 |
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Probably thought more "progressives" would respect the expectation of privacy |
MH1 |
Nov-13-07 04:06 PM |
#69 |
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I Would Assume More Liberals Would Vote for Openness |
Crisco |
Nov-13-07 04:57 PM |
#76 |
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Breach of contract is a liberal value, you say? |
MH1 |
Nov-13-07 05:49 PM |
#80 |
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The child never entered into that contract |
gollygee |
Nov-13-07 06:16 PM |
#86 |
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I think it should be up to the adoptee |
gollygee |
Nov-13-07 10:12 AM |
#35 |
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If anonymity was a part of the deal -- then it needs to be honored |
aikoaiko |
Nov-13-07 10:37 AM |
#36 |
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Funny — I don't remember authorizing such a 'deal' when I was three days old |
Oeditpus Rex |
Nov-13-07 06:04 PM |
#82 |
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Sorry, but I don;t think you should have a say in it. |
aikoaiko |
Nov-13-07 07:04 PM |
#89 |
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ah yes, property has no recognized interest in the conditions of its disposal... |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 07:49 PM |
#94 |
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Thats not what I said. |
aikoaiko |
Nov-13-07 08:00 PM |
#95 |
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yeah, it is... |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 09:45 PM |
#103 |
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I'd say no. |
Bornaginhooligan |
Nov-13-07 11:00 AM |
#38 |
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I think it should be up to a mother. |
qwlauren35 |
Nov-13-07 11:13 AM |
#40 |
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I belong to a birthmother's group of over 500 |
RadFemFL |
Nov-13-07 12:05 PM |
#47 |
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Maybe if adoptive parents weren't assured of privacy, |
NOLALady |
Nov-13-07 11:00 PM |
#107 |
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Or maybe... |
RadFemFL |
Nov-14-07 08:12 AM |
#110 |
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I am in agreement with you. There are alot of women living |
Ilsa |
Nov-17-07 10:49 AM |
#132 |
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Given we know- KNOW, beyond any doubt- that there are such things |
kgfnally |
Nov-13-07 11:33 AM |
#42 |
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Which of your original birth records would give you any hint |
Heidi |
Nov-13-07 11:48 AM |
#44 |
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Which is why I voted yes |
48percenter |
Nov-13-07 03:43 PM |
#65 |
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No. |
TheUniverse |
Nov-13-07 11:59 AM |
#46 |
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tough! |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 04:45 PM |
#74 |
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Right to know birth mother vs. NOT BEING BORN AT ALL |
Truth Hurts A Lot |
Nov-13-07 09:12 PM |
#100 |
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baloney |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 09:27 PM |
#101 |
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Yes, for now and in the future |
supernova |
Nov-13-07 12:07 PM |
#49 |
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I was abandoned and adopted. |
Peake |
Nov-13-07 12:34 PM |
#55 |
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A shame that book wasn't around when I was a child |
me b zola |
Nov-13-07 04:02 PM |
#68 |
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Yes, if both parties agree |
noonwitch |
Nov-13-07 02:31 PM |
#59 |
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absolutely, unequivocally YES! |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 03:02 PM |
#61 |
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No, not automatically. It should be a choice. |
Toucano |
Nov-13-07 03:37 PM |
#62 |
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Medical histories change over time |
RadFemFL |
Nov-13-07 03:50 PM |
#67 |
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Exactly! My birth familes all developed or diagnosed with illness *after* my adoption |
Shallah |
Nov-15-07 12:31 AM |
#127 |
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Not unless BOTH parties are willing |
Horse with no Name |
Nov-13-07 03:42 PM |
#64 |
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Exactly. |
MH1 |
Nov-13-07 04:08 PM |
#71 |
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I always knew that an adoption was, at heart, a business dealing... |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 04:25 PM |
#72 |
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Privacy is not a fundamental right? |
MH1 |
Nov-13-07 05:55 PM |
#81 |
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it's a right whose full exercise you may forfeit by becoming a parent... |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 06:12 PM |
#84 |
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Okay, so the answer, you say, is to get an abortion. |
MH1 |
Nov-13-07 06:14 PM |
#85 |
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nope |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 07:40 PM |
#92 |
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I have children, and I don't think they have the right to my |
Ilsa |
Nov-17-07 11:41 AM |
#134 |
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For once, a question that's so easy to answer! |
dotcosm |
Nov-13-07 03:44 PM |
#66 |
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I answered no |
lwfern |
Nov-13-07 04:43 PM |
#73 |
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your child is not "some random stranger" |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 05:00 PM |
#77 |
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It's possible to give a medical history |
supernova |
Nov-13-07 05:45 PM |
#79 |
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In many cases the woman didn't ask to give birth. |
lwfern |
Nov-13-07 06:10 PM |
#83 |
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nice try, but we can take special circumstances into account... |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 07:35 PM |
#91 |
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The best person to judge the woman's circumstances |
lwfern |
Nov-13-07 08:05 PM |
#96 |
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oh, you can deny your obligations all you want... |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 09:37 PM |
#102 |
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I notice you only mention the mother's name. |
lwfern |
Nov-13-07 09:48 PM |
#104 |
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I'm following you on that... |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-13-07 10:17 PM |
#105 |
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exactly my thoughts. n/t |
kwyjibo |
Nov-14-07 11:11 PM |
#116 |
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Depends.. IF the birth mother wants to be "found" she should be able |
SoCalDem |
Nov-13-07 04:06 PM |
#70 |
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My wife is adopted |
NekoChris |
Nov-13-07 04:49 PM |
#75 |
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Wouldn't forced disclosure lead to more abortions? |
Truth Hurts A Lot |
Nov-13-07 05:40 PM |
#78 |
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It's only a Pro-Choice issue when the baby is still inside of her. |
oktoberain |
Nov-13-07 06:39 PM |
#88 |
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We're talking about adults, not "a child" at this point, right? |
lwfern |
Nov-13-07 08:09 PM |
#98 |
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I think that's an obvious yes. |
lwfern |
Nov-13-07 08:16 PM |
#99 |
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My opinion: |
oktoberain |
Nov-13-07 06:24 PM |
#87 |
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Of course, people have a right to their genetic legacy. |
LeviathanCrumbling |
Nov-13-07 07:48 PM |
#93 |
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That's not a "right". |
lwfern |
Nov-13-07 08:06 PM |
#97 |
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When it comes to something like a medical history it isn't a desire it is a right |
LeviathanCrumbling |
Nov-13-07 11:41 PM |
#108 |
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This goes back to what I was saying above |
lwfern |
Nov-14-07 05:44 AM |
#109 |
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Every doctor my Mother took me to as a kid wanted family history aka parental medical history |
Shallah |
Nov-15-07 12:18 AM |
#126 |
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agnostic here. |
ulysses |
Nov-14-07 06:18 PM |
#112 |
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Yes! |
me b zola |
Nov-14-07 10:23 PM |
#113 |
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From the article: |
me b zola |
Nov-14-07 11:03 PM |
#114 |
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Shouldn't HIPAA prevent this? If the birthmother won't release medical records no one can get them. |
RGBolen |
Nov-14-07 11:08 PM |
#115 |
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perhaps you misunderstand |
shanti |
Nov-14-07 11:20 PM |
#119 |
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As a birth mother, I said "yes" .. BUT there should be framework in place for privacy if needed.. |
progressivebydesign |
Nov-14-07 11:16 PM |
#117 |
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sure, because many are |
shanti |
Nov-14-07 11:25 PM |
#122 |
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No, unless the birth mother has agreed |
question everything |
Nov-14-07 11:25 PM |
#121 |
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Keep spewing the anti-choice talking points |
RadFemFL |
Nov-15-07 08:20 AM |
#128 |
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it's not privacy that's being urged on birthmothers, RadFemFL -- it's secrecy... |
NorthernSpy |
Nov-15-07 04:12 PM |
#130 |
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Adopted Offspring Deserve Medical Info Often Not Available at Adoption |
Shallah |
Nov-15-07 12:00 AM |
#123 |
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My FIL's daughter contacted him 15 or so years ago |
alittlelark |
Nov-15-07 12:04 AM |
#124 |
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YES! Sign me, Adopted adult very happy to have found my birth family |
ourbluenation |
Nov-15-07 12:16 AM |
#125 |
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There are already those types of things in place |
RadFemFL |
Nov-15-07 03:00 PM |
#129 |
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Yes, adult adoptees should have access |
Angela Shelley |
Nov-17-07 08:55 AM |
#131 |
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The problem is that you aren't just asking for the medical history of the birth |
Ilsa |
Nov-17-07 10:54 AM |
#133 |
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