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Reply #5: Marsha Warfield said it's harder to be gay than to be black [View All]

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CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-30-07 01:00 PM
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5. Marsha Warfield said it's harder to be gay than to be black
"Because you don't have to tell your parents that you're black."
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  -Being Gay is like being Black rucky  Oct-30-07 12:56 PM   #0 
  - I agree.  xultar   Oct-30-07 12:59 PM   #1 
  - Yup.  Midlodemocrat   Oct-30-07 12:59 PM   #2 
  - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.  terrya   Oct-30-07 01:00 PM   #3 
  - That says it all. n/m  AndyA   Oct-30-07 01:00 PM   #4 
  - Marsha Warfield said it's harder to be gay than to be black  CreekDog   Oct-30-07 01:00 PM   #5 
  - Is she gay? n/t  cat_girl25   Oct-30-07 03:32 PM   #81 
  - I don't know. She's a comedian, it was a joke, it was funny. Relax. nt  CreekDog   Oct-30-07 05:50 PM   #124 
  - The gay and black man in my family  pnwmom   Oct-30-07 07:16 PM   #146 
  - Plus gay people are really supported in the black Community.  deaniac21   Oct-31-07 08:47 AM   #162 
     - WHICH segment of the black community are YOU referring to?  Karenina   Oct-31-07 03:03 PM   #168 
  - I agree. There are differences in experience, but yes.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 01:01 PM   #6 
  - Yep.  supernova   Oct-30-07 01:01 PM   #7 
  - I think that's pretty obvious. Those who believe otherwise just  amitten   Oct-30-07 01:03 PM   #8 
  - One difference  Psychmd   Oct-30-07 01:05 PM   #9 
  - However, you can pretend not to be if needed.  Wcross   Oct-30-07 01:06 PM   #10 
  - this is true, to an extent...  Neecy   Oct-30-07 01:10 PM   #11 
  - "Passing" is always demeaning, stressful, and ultimately harmful.  yardwork   Oct-30-07 01:11 PM   #12 
  - yes, but your parents don't hate you because you're black  soothsayer   Oct-30-07 01:12 PM   #13 
  - So you agree, being black is not like being gay?  Wcross   Oct-30-07 01:21 PM   #15 
  - Do things have to be identical to be alike?  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 01:34 PM   #25 
  - no, but everyone else does, apparently...  NorthernSpy   Oct-30-07 04:48 PM   #112 
  - And...flip the coin.  Touchdown   Oct-30-07 01:14 PM   #14 
  - Here's a hypothetical for you...  rucky   Oct-30-07 01:22 PM   #17 
  - Being gay is more like being Jewish than being black  Lilith Velkor   Oct-30-07 01:30 PM   #21 
     - Opposite sides of the coin  izquierdista   Oct-30-07 01:37 PM   #29 
        - Back in my day, it was a religion and not an ethnicity  Lilith Velkor   Oct-30-07 01:59 PM   #44 
           - Which tells us your ethnicity  izquierdista   Oct-30-07 05:43 PM   #119 
           - How so?  Lilith Velkor   Oct-31-07 01:37 PM   #166 
           - I don't know what day THAT was, but in Nazi Germany it was sure considered an  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 06:18 PM   #129 
              - 1970s and early '80s  Lilith Velkor   Oct-31-07 01:59 PM   #167 
  - And yet they are alike in that they are innate and immutable.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 01:33 PM   #24 
  - There are blacks who can and have "passed" for white  Chovexani   Oct-30-07 01:37 PM   #28 
  - Also some gays that have passed for straight.  Wcross   Oct-30-07 01:41 PM   #32 
  - It's sad all around  Chovexani   Oct-30-07 02:35 PM   #54 
  - You join the disciples of Little Richard  Karenina   Oct-30-07 07:46 PM   #151 
     - LOL!  Chovexani   Oct-30-07 08:47 PM   #153 
  - Gov. Jim McGreevey, Sen. Craig, and a multitude of others.  pnwmom   Oct-30-07 07:19 PM   #147 
  - Speaking of passing....  cat_girl25   Oct-30-07 03:50 PM   #95 
     - I will have to Netflix that  Chovexani   Oct-30-07 04:09 PM   #104 
     - I just added it to my list, THANKS cat_girl!  Wcross   Oct-30-07 05:23 PM   #114 
     - Pinky is okay, but it's no Imitation of Life - and I mean the real 1934 version,  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 05:58 PM   #125 
  - This is a pretty insulting remark.  CT_Progressive   Oct-30-07 01:44 PM   #34 
  - I am not saying gays should HAVE to pretend.  Wcross   Oct-30-07 02:59 PM   #60 
     - People do discriminate. Gay people, however, do not have even the protection of the  mondo joe   Oct-31-07 09:18 AM   #164 
  - actually so can SOME black people, hence the invention of the term passing,  lionesspriyanka   Oct-30-07 01:55 PM   #40 
  - I'd liken it to being atheist  goddess40   Oct-30-07 03:38 PM   #89 
  - "Kind of hard to not be black at the interview"  NOLALady   Oct-30-07 07:01 PM   #141 
     - Yep, it depends on the individual.  Wcross   Oct-30-07 07:10 PM   #142 
        - And what do you do after the interview anyway? If you get the job?  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 07:12 PM   #144 
           - Have you ever asked a black man that question?  Wcross   Oct-30-07 09:07 PM   #155 
              - I might ask a gay black man - but I don't know why I'd ask a straight black man about  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 09:10 PM   #156 
                 - Yep, I knew you would try to waste my time.  Wcross   Oct-30-07 09:16 PM   #158 
                    - I knew you wouldn't bother to support you "point".  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 09:18 PM   #159 
  - Don't forget  DU9598   Oct-30-07 01:21 PM   #16 
  - Why is there a comparison?  ellacott   Oct-30-07 01:23 PM   #18 
  - Comparison? It's a commonality.  Karenina   Oct-30-07 01:32 PM   #22 
     - commonality  ellacott   Oct-30-07 01:40 PM   #31 
        - that would be the purpose of the comparison.  rucky   Oct-30-07 02:09 PM   # 
           - Kinda like Truth and Reconciliation.  Karenina   Oct-30-07 06:26 PM   #130 
  - Black parents, family, friends expect their children to be black  Lex   Oct-30-07 01:24 PM   #19 
  - and don't assume that you know what I'm going to say(post)  ellacott   Oct-30-07 03:11 PM   #67 
     - That wasn't an assumption of what you were going to say  Der Blaue Engel   Oct-30-07 03:28 PM   #76 
        - No problem butting in  ellacott   Oct-30-07 04:02 PM   #102 
  - Too bad it seems that we can't all work on being human together.  Skidmore   Oct-30-07 01:28 PM   #20 
  - I mean this in the nicest possible way: who cares?  jgraz   Oct-30-07 01:33 PM   #23 
  - it's not just about sex  Lex   Oct-30-07 01:34 PM   #26 
  - It is to these right-wing freaks  jgraz   Oct-30-07 01:50 PM   #37 
  - Maybe they have no choice in their sexual preference...  rucky   Oct-30-07 01:44 PM   #35 
  - I think we're in violent agreement  jgraz   Oct-30-07 01:49 PM   #36 
  - Being gay isn't about my "sex life".  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 01:58 PM   #42 
     - See post 37  jgraz   Oct-30-07 02:11 PM   #47 
        - But you were saying YOU think the answer is to say "get out of my sex life".  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 02:23 PM   #52 
           - The response to the homophobes. Making sense yet?  jgraz   Oct-30-07 02:31 PM   #53 
              - I think we agree more than we don't, so I don't want to belabor the  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 03:02 PM   #62 
                 - Yep. Chalk up my inelegant language to how much this issue pisses me off  jgraz   Oct-30-07 03:06 PM   #65 
  - What if you are black and gay...?  LeftHander   Oct-30-07 01:35 PM   #27 
  - We don't exist  Chovexani   Oct-30-07 01:39 PM   #30 
  - like real bisexuals? who are also apparantly unicorns  lionesspriyanka   Oct-30-07 01:52 PM   #38 
     - Invisible unicorns!  Chovexani   Oct-30-07 02:22 PM   #50 
  - Identity is more complicated than the categories we put them into.  rucky   Oct-30-07 02:00 PM   #45 
  - Just one other thing. Gayness can be hidden in most cases. Black can't in most.  xultar   Oct-30-07 01:42 PM   #33 
  - passing is something that has occured in the black community before.  lionesspriyanka   Oct-30-07 01:53 PM   #39 
  - only a very few blacks could ever pass for white  kwassa   Oct-30-07 02:56 PM   #57 
  - True.  xultar   Oct-30-07 02:58 PM   #58 
  - True. But I don't think it has done gays any favor. If I had the power  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 01:56 PM   #41 
  - you mean  lwfern   Oct-30-07 02:09 PM   #46 
  - Don't confuse being identified with being identified for the purpose of  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 02:21 PM   #49 
     - well. that's true.  lwfern   Oct-30-07 02:35 PM   #55 
        - Because, as a gay man, I believe relative invisibility hurts us more  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 03:03 PM   #63 
           - That was my point in the previous post  lwfern   Oct-30-07 03:24 PM   #72 
              - Being invisible contributes to gay powerlessness and bigotry.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 03:27 PM   #74 
              - the ability to pass is an incredible luxury and advantage...  NorthernSpy   Oct-30-07 03:43 PM   #92 
                 - The ability to pass leads to isolation, especially for gay kids who are at high risk for suicide.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 05:34 PM   #115 
              - You wish you could pass for male????  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 05:40 PM   #117 
                 - There was story on This American Life a while back  lwfern   Oct-30-07 06:54 PM   #138 
                    - Yes, that was This American Life. It was a piece by John Hodgman.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 07:00 PM   #140 
                    - Also -  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 07:25 PM   #149 
  - Oh I'm not saying that it has done favors. On the contrary not being able to be  xultar   Oct-30-07 02:59 PM   #61 
  - as someone else said, being gay is more like being Jewish  Truth Hurts A Lot   Oct-30-07 02:15 PM   #48 
  - Isn't "being Jewish" a religion?  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:17 PM   #71 
  - Is that why so many people get beaten/killed  BuffyTheFundieSlayer   Oct-30-07 03:29 PM   #78 
     - once again . . . get out of my head  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:33 PM   #82 
        - We're barking up the wrong tree  BuffyTheFundieSlayer   Oct-30-07 03:38 PM   #90 
  - All good points ...  weeve   Oct-30-07 01:58 PM   #43 
  - Yup (nt)  bigwillq   Oct-30-07 02:23 PM   #51 
  - You mean, even if you pray *really* hard, you can't change your race?!?!  CTD   Oct-30-07 02:52 PM   #56 
  - Being Gay is not like being Black  kwassa   Oct-30-07 02:59 PM   #59 
  - And no black parent has ever abused or rejected their kid because he or she is black.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 03:04 PM   #64 
  - actually, that is not true  kwassa   Oct-30-07 03:13 PM   #68 
     - They still weren'tr rejected BECAUSE of their race.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 03:16 PM   #69 
     - you said "because they are black"  kwassa   Oct-30-07 03:26 PM   #73 
     - Oh, I see. Word games.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 03:28 PM   #75 
        - no, clarity. There is a difference.  kwassa   Oct-30-07 03:30 PM   #79 
           - Fine. Let's be clear: African American parents don't reject or beat or abuse their  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 05:35 PM   #116 
              - some whites do  NorthernSpy   Oct-30-07 08:17 PM   #152 
                 - If you can take that story to heart you may begin to understand what it is to be a gay  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 09:12 PM   #157 
     - Some black families reject darker kids because  NOLALady   Oct-30-07 07:35 PM   #150 
     - One is specific, one is general.  LanternWaste   Oct-31-07 10:09 AM   #165 
  - Ah, how do they "hide" their gayness? You suggest the most "effeminate" man can act that well?  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:17 PM   #70 
     - Historically, most gays have done just that, hide it.  kwassa   Oct-30-07 03:29 PM   #77 
        - In the pre-closeted 70's there were a whole lot of murders & assaults too.  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:30 PM   #80 
           - It is still a very poor analogy, and always has been.  kwassa   Oct-30-07 03:34 PM   #84 
              - Oh OK well that settles that I guess.  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:35 PM   #86 
                 - glad you agree  kwassa   Oct-30-07 03:47 PM   #93 
                    - I don't, but you knew that. Carry on.  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:54 PM   #99 
  - I agree, but with one major difference...  SidDithers   Oct-30-07 03:09 PM   #66 
  - That is one major difference, but there is another:  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 05:42 PM   #118 
  - And because they CAN, they are often pressured to do so. Some "choice."  pnwmom   Oct-30-07 07:13 PM   #145 
  - Oh, forget it  BuffyTheFundieSlayer   Oct-30-07 03:33 PM   #83 
  - Do you love how every 5 subthreads someone says "you can hide being gay!"  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:37 PM   #88 
  - Love isn't the word I'd use for it  BuffyTheFundieSlayer   Oct-30-07 03:39 PM   #91 
  - As in they LOVE to highlight how we are different rather than similar.  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:49 PM   #94 
     - All the easier to keep us down  BuffyTheFundieSlayer   Oct-30-07 03:52 PM   #96 
  - I think they mean you can hide being gay in the eyes of others.  cat_girl25   Oct-30-07 04:06 PM   #103 
     - I know what they mean, but not everyone can "hide" being gay,  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 04:20 PM   #105 
        - Yeah, that is true.  cat_girl25   Oct-30-07 04:30 PM   #106 
           - The homophobic blacks that I know  NOLALady   Oct-30-07 07:19 PM   #148 
  - Thanks  rucky   Oct-30-07 04:35 PM   #108 
     - I know you weren't  BuffyTheFundieSlayer   Oct-30-07 05:14 PM   #113 
  - Damn straight!  Der Blaue Engel   Oct-30-07 03:35 PM   #85 
  - I agree.  cat_girl25   Oct-30-07 03:35 PM   #87 
  - Society sure makes nature complicated, eh?  rucky   Oct-30-07 04:37 PM   #109 
  - Except that most Black people have the advantage  pnwmom   Oct-30-07 03:52 PM   #97 
  - they also have the advantage of being easy to pick out of a crowd...  NorthernSpy   Oct-30-07 04:41 PM   #110 
     - I'd take it. I've never tried to hide being gay as an adult. I make sure to let people  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 05:46 PM   #122 
        - I do consider being able to pass an advantage...  NorthernSpy   Oct-30-07 06:11 PM   #127 
           - Would you pass, if you could?  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 06:17 PM   #128 
              - would I pass for what?  NorthernSpy   Oct-30-07 06:29 PM   #131 
                 - For a race or gender or orientation other than your own?  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 06:30 PM   #132 
                    - why not?  NorthernSpy   Oct-30-07 06:40 PM   #134 
                       - Is that a yes, or a no?  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 06:42 PM   #136 
                       - you're not sure... there's a certain ambiguity... can't quite put your finger on it...  NorthernSpy   Oct-30-07 06:50 PM   #137 
                          - Do you just not want to answer the question? You can say so.  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 06:55 PM   #139 
                       - Why not? Because it leaves you with a sense of shamefulness,  pnwmom   Oct-30-07 07:11 PM   #143 
  - Interesting that you didn't say "It's like being white"  Bucky   Oct-30-07 03:52 PM   #98 
  - Both are minority groups fighting for equality, is that so much of a reach?  Bluebear   Oct-30-07 03:55 PM   #100 
  - No subtext, but plenty of context  rucky   Oct-30-07 04:34 PM   #107 
  - Because it's not as much like being white. Though it is equally innate, the status  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 05:44 PM   #120 
  - But THAT would be racist, wouldn't it?  HypnoToad   Oct-30-07 05:47 PM   #123 
     - dude, your lack of understanding of social issues is monumental.  lionesspriyanka   Oct-31-07 07:21 AM   #160 
        - He made a big show of putting me on ignore, but just for you :) . . .  Bluebear   Oct-31-07 09:15 AM   #163 
  - That's right and it's also  zidzi   Oct-30-07 03:58 PM   #101 
  - I think Mel Boozer, a gay black man, sums it up pretty well:  marmar   Oct-30-07 04:46 PM   #111 
  - I know black people who would disagree with you until the cows came home and drink each others' milk  HypnoToad   Oct-30-07 05:46 PM   #121 
  - They are enttled to be wrong. NT  mondo joe   Oct-30-07 06:01 PM   #126 
  - A caveat  Az   Oct-30-07 06:40 PM   #133 
  - Per Your Statement, Being Gay is Like Being Black, Yes.  Toasterlad   Oct-30-07 06:40 PM   #135 
  - So what is "being Black"?  Toucano   Oct-30-07 09:06 PM   #154 
  - Thanks for the reminder NT  Snarkturian Clone   Oct-31-07 07:49 AM   #161 
 

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