My son really surprised me today

[Sydnie]

I took my son to the bank today to open a new account for himself. He transfered some funds from his savings account into the new account, took a few dollars for gas money to get to school and food money to get a burger on those late nights when he gets out of class. Not much cash mind you, but a small buffer to get through him the rest of the week.

He also needed some new headlights for his car and he insisted on going to WalMart to get them. See, he is a college student and well, money is tight (both his and mine), and he wanted to get them there because they were cheaper than at the local auto supply places. So, I relented and drove him over there to pick them up. As we were driving into the parking lot, there at the fringe of the parking lot sat a very elderly man in a wheelchair. He was holding a sign that spoke about his vet status and how he was desperate because he had been dropped from the VA roles. Now, it was in the low single digits and he looked like he was taking a real beating from the cold wind that was blowing today. I couldn't read all of his sign on the first pass by him, so we drove back around to the fringe of the lot to read the sign again. That's when he surprised me.

He said, "I wonder if he's hungry? I am not so hip on giving people money on the street, but I would be happy to buy him something to eat." Now, keep in mind, this is a 19 year old who feigns that he is not interested when I talk about politics or ever voices any stance on social issues that he hears me talk about or work on. He says "Mom, that's YOUR thing" to me all the time. But, today, he showed me that he got it more than I had imagined.

We made one more pass by where he was sitting, not being noticed or acknowledged by anyone else driving around the parking lot. My son rolled down his window and said "Excuse me Sir, are you hungry?" What, I thought, did he just say Sir? A second wow for me. (not that I didn't teach him manners or respect, but hearing him acknowledge this man with the respect that he deserved without reservation caught me off guard all the same.)

The old gentleman turn and rolled just a bit closer to our car. He replied, "No, I'm not hungry son. I just ate a little bit ago." My son then asked him what kind of help he needed. He replied, "I am desperate. The VA dropped me and I don't know where I am going to get my meds this month. If you could help me out with a buck or anything really, that would be the best help I could get right now." I was already reaching into my pocket for a $5 bill to hand him. I handed it to my son so that he could hand it to the man. He did that. The man thanks us and started to roll backward toward his hopeful but mostly unnoticed spot again. Then the real wow happened. He said "Excuse me Sir, wait just a minute, ok?" the elderly man turned back to my son with a surprised look on his face. My son reached into his own wallet, pulled out two one dollar bills (quite a hit on his weekly funds when his wallet was not too fat to begin with) and handed them to the man. The man thanked him and said "God Bless you son." Neither one of us are very religious, but we knew what saying that meant to that man all the same. My son gently said "You're welcome and thank you too." At that point, the elderly man did roll back to his lonely spot on the fringe of the lot and I pulled away to find a parking spot to continue on our errand for his lights. I, of course, was quietly sobbing tears of pride at his act of generosity. He turned to me and said "Mom, are you crying?" I silently shook my head yes and he leaned over to kiss my cheek. I smiled and said "What a good, generous progressive kid you are. You make me proud." He smiled in his usual "aren't I cute" way and glanced out the window, away from my line of view.

I know he was feeling happy, safe, secure and loved ... as well as proud of himself. He learned today that it feels so much better to give than receive on so many levels and I learned that I might have penetrated his outward expression of disengagement after all.

With kids like this, we just might still have hope, don't you think?