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Reply #60: Nope, Can't Agree. [View All]

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Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU
Toasterlad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-02-07 11:30 PM
Response to Reply #58
60. Nope, Can't Agree.
I get what you're saying, but I don't think "spying" is fair. Spying implies an expectation of privacy on the part of the spyee. When you're walking down the street, you have no expectation of privacy. You may not know others are watching you through a telescope, but you know you're being seen. You know you don't have the freedom to be CANDID; you are putting on a publicly acceptable face. Presumably, you are not picking your nose, or popping a zit; you most likely have made sure that all of your private areas are covered, and that the image you're presenting of yourself is the image you want people to see. You are not in a private setting, and you know it. You cannot be spied upon; you expect to be seen.

It is disingenuous to suggest that just because a person would react negatively to finding out that another person had been watching them, that the watcher has done something wrong. If I were sitting in a bar and my crack was showing for the better part of an hour, and I didn't know it, but the people behind me were laughing and giggling about it, they would not be "wrong". What would be "wrong" is if one of them got up, poked me in the crack, and then told me that they had been watching it for the better part of an hour.

That actually happened to me Friday night. I was pissed.

The point is, it was the intrusiveness of the woman that was wrong. What she said and did embarrassed me. I do not fault her for giggling over my crack (I've been that juvenile myself). I fault her for involving me in her nonsense. Had she and her friends merely looked and laughed, I'd have been none the wiser. No harm, no foul. Also, this woman did not poke me in the crack and tell me about it maliciously, she actually thought I'd be good-natured about it; she thought she was letting me in on the joke. She was, of course, very drunk. So, of course, was I, which is probably why I WASN'T good-natured about, as I normally would have been.

Interacting with people means that you will be seen. You have no right to your image as they see it, unless they attempt to exploit it financially. Thats just the way it is.
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  -Here's a question I've wondered about for years regarding public toilets. MyPetRock  Sep-02-07 07:55 PM   #0 
  - Money.  NC_Nurse   Sep-02-07 07:57 PM   #1 
  - But in Europe they're everywhere.  MyPetRock   Sep-02-07 07:58 PM   #3 
     - So is free healthcare and college.  Katherine Brengle   Sep-02-07 09:23 PM   #39 
  - Era of the Restroom Attendent should be brought back...  hlthe2b   Sep-02-07 07:58 PM   #2 
  - Except that they usually charge.  MyPetRock   Sep-02-07 08:00 PM   #6 
  - Psst. "Genteel"  kenny blankenship   Sep-02-07 08:22 PM   #20 
  - That was an unfortunate misspell, wasn't it....LOL.  hlthe2b   Sep-02-07 08:26 PM   #25 
  - I agree. I don't think people would be nearly as disgusting as they are in public restrooms  Katherine Brengle   Sep-02-07 09:24 PM   #41 
  - It will never come back to any extent...  hlthe2b   Sep-02-07 09:46 PM   #45 
  - Ugh...  sanguinivorous   Sep-02-07 11:29 PM   #59 
  - Actually, I think it has to do with sanitizing. In SOME public facilities,  napi21   Sep-02-07 07:59 PM   #4 
  - True. It DOES make it easier to sanitize the place.  Buns_of_Fire   Sep-02-07 08:25 PM   #23 
  - They don't enclose them because that would encourage anonymous sex  kenny blankenship   Sep-02-07 08:00 PM   #5 
  - Europe still had unisex lavatories last time I was there, too.  TahitiNut   Sep-02-07 08:00 PM   #7 
  - Unisex bathroom is all US needs for the full happiness.  lizzy   Sep-02-07 08:07 PM   #11 
  - I have a problem with it  lwfern   Sep-02-07 08:09 PM   #12 
     - I would have a problem with unisex toilets  lizzy   Sep-02-07 08:12 PM   #13 
     - I don't care where they tap their feet.  lwfern   Sep-02-07 08:57 PM   #35 
     - I Think Your Safe.  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 08:26 PM   #24 
     - I look at it this way:  lwfern   Sep-02-07 08:55 PM   #34 
        - And Potential Criminals Are Not Criminals.  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 09:44 PM   #44 
        - Can you go back and look at the post I was responding to initially?  lwfern   Sep-02-07 09:52 PM   #47 
           - Ah. No Wonder We Weren't Getting Anywhere. My Bad.  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 10:11 PM   #48 
              - Well, there you go  lwfern   Sep-02-07 10:17 PM   #49 
                 - I Don't See How Women Are Being Treated Unfairly In That Situation.  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 10:28 PM   #51 
                    - Well you wouldn't go right up to a stranger on the street,  lwfern   Sep-02-07 10:33 PM   #53 
                       - The Difference is the Intrusion.  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 10:42 PM   #54 
                          - Okay, stay with me here  lwfern   Sep-02-07 10:49 PM   #55 
                             - I'd Imagine He'd Be Pissed (I Myself Would Be Flattered)  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 10:56 PM   #56 
                                - That intrusiveness is how women feel  lwfern   Sep-02-07 11:07 PM   #58 
                                   - Nope, Can't Agree.  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 11:30 PM   #60 
                                      - It's not really something to "agree with"  lwfern   Sep-02-07 11:54 PM   #62 
                                         - I Meant the Definition of Spying.  Toasterlad   Sep-03-07 12:32 AM   #63 
                                            - You said you were pissed  lwfern   Sep-03-07 12:44 AM   #65 
                                               - I WAS Pissed. I Got Over It.. Now, It's Just an Amusing Story to Share.  Toasterlad   Sep-03-07 12:52 AM   #66 
                                               - Did you see the polls I posted a while ago related to that?  lwfern   Sep-03-07 01:05 AM   #68 
                                               - Those Polls Predate Me.  Toasterlad   Sep-03-07 01:45 AM   #69 
        - "famous survey?"  depakid   Sep-02-07 11:02 PM   #57 
           - For those who don't feel like googling  lwfern   Sep-03-07 12:41 AM   #64 
              - From an issue of Ms. Magazine?  depakid   Sep-03-07 12:58 AM   #67 
     - Well, the fact of the matter is ....  TahitiNut   Sep-02-07 09:33 PM   #42 
  - In the 21st Century there is no such thing as total privacy  whistle   Sep-02-07 08:01 PM   #8 
  - In some of the new restaurants here, they have what you describe...  YellowRubberDuckie   Sep-02-07 08:03 PM   #9 
  - Some department stores have them as well  dflprincess   Sep-02-07 08:14 PM   #15 
  - The alter of greed ,is a bigger need than privacy.  orpupilofnature57   Sep-02-07 08:04 PM   #10 
  - You mean for guys pissing? Urinals seem like enough privacy to me.  BlooInBloo   Sep-02-07 08:13 PM   #14 
  - Well, being a woman, I don't do urinals.  MyPetRock   Sep-02-07 08:15 PM   #16 
     - oops (blush)  BlooInBloo   Sep-02-07 08:17 PM   #17 
        - No problem, you couldn't have known!  MyPetRock   Sep-02-07 08:24 PM   #22 
  - Such stalls are just really cheap hotel rooms  cgrindley   Sep-02-07 08:19 PM   #18 
  - So you think stalls are exposed a bit to keep out the homeless?  MyPetRock   Sep-02-07 08:23 PM   #21 
     - Well, it's certainly one of many good reasons  cgrindley   Sep-03-07 08:41 AM   #74 
  - Other.  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 08:19 PM   #19 
  - What I'm talking about is not sexual behavior.  MyPetRock   Sep-02-07 08:28 PM   #26 
  - How Much More Privacy Could You Want?  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 08:42 PM   #30 
     - Whatever friend.  MyPetRock   Sep-02-07 08:46 PM   #31 
        - Seriously, No Offense.  Toasterlad   Sep-02-07 08:55 PM   #33 
  - I'm a 50 yr old SWM  qdemn7   Sep-02-07 10:30 PM   #52 
  - Where in the world do you live? All the women's bathroom stalls  trudyco   Sep-02-07 08:33 PM   #27 
  - No, where do you live? I have yet to see a completely enclosed  lizzy   Sep-02-07 08:34 PM   #28 
  - I didn't make the claim, but perhaps the poster is referring to the fact that...  JVS   Sep-03-07 01:58 AM   #70 
  - You've been in both men's and women's stalls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  MyPetRock   Sep-02-07 08:35 PM   #29 
  - Huh? there is space above and below the dividers in most women's bathrooms. nt  MookieWilson   Sep-02-07 09:23 PM   #40 
  - It's a SAFETY issue.  garybeck   Sep-02-07 08:48 PM   #32 
  - That's fine for a foot gap  lwfern   Sep-02-07 09:02 PM   #37 
  - Yeah...  high density   Sep-02-07 10:20 PM   #50 
  - There actually is a standard minimum gap that is required... n/t  garybeck   Sep-03-07 02:15 AM   #71 
  - And on the flip side...  Withywindle   Sep-02-07 11:39 PM   #61 
  - Because Halliburton doesn't have the contract yet!!1 n/t  UTUSN   Sep-02-07 08:57 PM   #36 
  - It helps air circulation. nt  MookieWilson   Sep-02-07 09:22 PM   #38 
  - I could only imagine the smell of opening the door to a toilet that is totally enclosed. Yuck! n/t  MiltonF   Sep-02-07 09:37 PM   #43 
  - The only places I find totally enclosed bathrooms are in expensive restaurants and hotels/resorts.  AZBlue   Sep-02-07 09:47 PM   #46 
  - if stalls are sealed off top to bottom who are you gonna ask to hand  orleans   Sep-03-07 02:53 AM   #72 
  - They should cause for one thing for women  Raine   Sep-03-07 02:56 AM   #73 
 

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