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Reply #44: You have given her more already than you may ever understand. [View All]

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Mnemosyne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-15-07 06:22 PM
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44. You have given her more already than you may ever understand.
Such abuse can leave the survivor feeling that no man could ever truly love her. She may become very promiscuous, searching for love in all the wrong places. Depression is also one pretty sure potential; even bi-polar disorder has been triggered by such abuse. As you know, she has learned to hide her pain well, hopefully you and your family will be allowed to help her release it in a healing manner.

Solly makes an excellent point - "She had a safe place to go to..she saw a family where the Daddy was a Daddy and not a monster. You don't realize it now but that was a big help to the child.". Far too many survivors are never fortunate enough to be blessed by having people like you and your family to lean on.

Having a caring and decent male figure in her life was a much needed gift that you didn't know you were giving her. You have shown her that she has value and deserves respect. I'm sure you have given her hugs now and then over the years, it helped her see that a man can touch her with love; not just lust. I cannot begin to tell you how much that can help a survivor of such bullshit.

As enraged as you are, and I'd like a shot at that creep myself, you will do her much more good if you can stay in her life rather than in jail.

Bless you and yours for giving her such a gift. :hug: :hug: :hug: I wish someone had been there for me many years ago. Still hurts too much at times.

And be damn careful with that ax; sharp things and the distraction of anger can cause nasty accidents!

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  -Argh. Sometimes it's VERY hard to be anti-DP Xithras  Jun-15-07 12:21 AM   #0 
  - I would be furious too!  burrowowl   Jun-15-07 12:26 AM   #1 
  - .  LearnedHand   Jun-15-07 12:28 AM   #2 
  - As bad as things are she is lucky to  CC   Jun-15-07 12:30 AM   #3 
  - Oh man...  driver8   Jun-15-07 12:38 AM   #4 
  - You'll figure out the best course of action  Norquist Nemesis   Jun-15-07 12:43 AM   #5 
  - I have a girlfriend now in her thirties still dealing with the trauma of a similar childhood  Stephanie   Jun-15-07 12:44 AM   #6 
  - She will survive. And he's going to pay for it for a long, long time.  Pigwidgeon   Jun-15-07 12:44 AM   #7 
  - Some bastards in life are so selfish they don't see the hell they put others thru  The Straight Story   Jun-15-07 12:46 AM   #8 
  - Exactly  FloridaJudy   Jun-15-07 01:59 AM   #21 
  - There is a difference between what we wish we could personally do  Az   Jun-15-07 12:46 AM   #9 
  - You know who is to blame for this.  Make7   Jun-15-07 12:48 AM   #10 
  - I know, and thank you.  Xithras   Jun-19-07 03:04 PM   #50 
  - If you've ever wondered why the Universe put you here, you now have the answer.  tblue   Jun-15-07 12:49 AM   #11 
  - i'm so sorry  batwing   Jun-15-07 12:54 AM   #12 
  - I support the DP, but what you are describing isn't anything that nullifies someone's opposition to  RGBolen   Jun-15-07 12:57 AM   #13 
  - Please don't beat yourself up  magellan   Jun-15-07 01:03 AM   #14 
  - the good part of this story (besides the fact that the cops did their job  orleans   Jun-15-07 01:09 AM   #15 
  - Xithras, get help for your family, too.  MaryBear   Jun-15-07 01:09 AM   #16 
  - Good point, I'll think about that.  Xithras   Jun-19-07 03:05 PM   #51 
  - Oh how sad  proud2Blib   Jun-15-07 01:11 AM   #17 
  - Don't blame yourself for not imagining the unimaginable.  pnwmom   Jun-15-07 01:40 AM   #18 
  - Like you said, see if you can apply for her legal guardianship.  seawolf   Jun-15-07 01:46 AM   #19 
  - Two things Dukakis conflated was *the state* killing someone vs *him* killing someone.  BlooInBloo   Jun-15-07 01:47 AM   #20 
  - Perhaps Sending Him To Prison Is A Death Sentence In Itself  wellst0nev0ter   Jun-15-07 05:16 AM   #22 
  - That poor child. I wish her healing.  Solly Mack   Jun-15-07 05:30 AM   #23 
  - For People Who Have Done What He DId  ribofunk   Jun-15-07 05:42 AM   #24 
  - I think it would be a legitimate killing  jollyreaper2112   Jun-15-07 06:14 AM   #25 
  - Your feelings are understandable in the cirucumstances.  LWolf   Jun-15-07 06:33 AM   #26 
  - It's a horrible, horrible feeling to wish someone dead.  hunter   Jun-15-07 10:43 AM   #27 
  - I help you kill him  Dragonbreathp9d   Jun-15-07 12:55 PM   #28 
  - Are you sure you want to tell your daughter the truth about this?  JVS   Jun-15-07 01:08 PM   #29 
  - The child usually signals when "enough is enough"  lapislzi   Jun-15-07 01:25 PM   #30 
  - Children need to know the truth. A 13 yr old will imagine far worse than the truth  Bucky   Jun-15-07 01:30 PM   #32 
  - I probably would have preferred that.  Xithras   Jun-19-07 03:08 PM   #52 
  - I had a friend who found out his daughter was being raped by her step father. He surprised me  Bucky   Jun-15-07 01:26 PM   #31 
  - Contact CPS & offer to take her in  WolverineDG   Jun-15-07 01:36 PM   #33 
  - That was my thought too.  IMModerate   Jun-15-07 06:08 PM   #42 
  - That's horrible.  TheWraith   Jun-15-07 02:08 PM   #34 
  - I'm an anti-DP who magically becomes very pro-DP when it comes to any form of pedophilia  Truth Hurts A Lot   Jun-15-07 02:21 PM   #35 
  - The death penalty is too fast and merciful for a bastard  SeanQ   Jun-15-07 02:55 PM   #36 
  - At least they got the bastard this time..  mackdaddy   Jun-15-07 04:52 PM   #37 
  - It sounds like your family was one of the only stable elements in her life.  Lars39   Jun-15-07 04:58 PM   #38 
  - This happened to a friend of mine.  yardwork   Jun-15-07 05:02 PM   #39 
  - I am So Sorry  Madspirit   Jun-15-07 05:07 PM   #40 
  - Wow Xithras, you've posted more than your share of emotionally jarring stuff on DU  slackmaster   Jun-15-07 05:07 PM   #41 
  - DU is a good sounding board for a lot of things.  Xithras   Jun-19-07 03:16 PM   #55 
  - Jesus fucking christ - I know that rage. FUCKING MONSTER.  helderheid   Jun-15-07 06:15 PM   #43 
  - You have given her more already than you may ever understand.  vickiss   Jun-15-07 06:22 PM   #44 
  - It is okay to be full of rage  motocicleta   Jun-15-07 09:59 PM   #45 
  - That Level Of Anger Is Necessary. It's What Makes Us Decent And Human When It Comes Right Down To It  OPERATIONMINDCRIME   Jun-15-07 10:10 PM   #46 
  - Oh dear, that is terrible!  ljm2002   Jun-15-07 10:59 PM   #47 
  - work with CPS and become her foster parents  BareNakedLiberal   Jun-16-07 12:55 AM   #48 
  - *****UPDATE******  Xithras   Jun-19-07 03:01 PM   #49 
  - Thank you for the update.  bunkerbuster1   Jun-19-07 03:09 PM   #54 
  - Thanks for the update  wicket   Jun-19-07 03:20 PM   #56 
  - wow.. I don't even know what to say  nini   Jun-19-07 03:23 PM   #57 
  - No it's not. You don't stoop to their level with revenge.  Alexander   Jun-19-07 03:09 PM   #53 
     - true, but let the courts handle these things without the emotion  nini   Jun-19-07 03:24 PM   #58 

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