It is very difficult to start again from the bottom .

[blues90]

This is not a sympathy thread but reality .

I was a manager making 52,000 per year and had a long time career in the auto dealership trade , over 30 years .

After a manager change and 12 years at that job i was fired with the wonderful at will clause . You have no recourse .

I was there for 12 years and did my job and even was forced to take on many other jobs of people who were laided off .

I found a job after 11 months but it was short lived and ended in a layoff .

Gaps in my employment do not help , being 58 adds to the difficulty I face and to add to this the panic attacks and constant anxiety make it almost impossible to leave the house now .

I get SDI and have gone to vocational rehab run by the state where you basically start from scratch , it took 3 months just to find out if I qualified for their service .

My main fear and dread beside the panic I suffer is not only getting back into the work force but being able to deal with no panicing and getting out of the house .

If I were physically handicapped then I would be less prone to the fear I have . the other fear and dread is starting off on some new career and starting from the bottom at my age . I feel so down about the entire thing .

I do often wonder how many others are in a similar situation whether they are just facing a loss of a good job having to start with something as a wal-mart greeter or some other low pay job with no hope of advancing and without modern skills . I have read much about college graduates who have the skills but no experience required for jobs they seek .

I just don't see a way forward most times , it is difficult to say the least .

I just want to be able to survive , i am not looking to buy and spend on junk I don;t need , just survive .

I must say I have still a tiny bit of ego not that it was big to begin with and I have pride in what I did and do . Somewhere something inside me has died where all interests in past things have gone , my wife feels I am going through my mothers death and a mid life crisis all on top of all else .