Reply #38: My daughter is 15, originally diagnosed with full-blown autism.

[PA Democrat]

She has made so much progress that she now looks more like someone with Aspergers (although she does not meet the diagnostic criteria because of her significant language delays when she was young). She has attended regular public schools since kindergarten and is included the majority of the day in regular ed classes.

My experience with her classmates has been the greatest source of comfort. The kids who have known her since kindergarten are more accepting and kind than many of the adults we encounter. It seems that everywhere we go in the community, kids come up to us to talk to my daughter. I think that inclusion offers our kids' neurotypical peers the opportunity to learn about the kindness within themselves and the opportunity to realize that it's OK to be different. It also helps to acknowledge these kids' kindness. I have personally called the parents of the kids who have made an extra effort with my daughter to tell them what a great kid they are raising, and have asked teachers to also provide positive feedback to these kids.

There have been a number of kids who have gone out of their way to befriend my daughter. They have asked how they can help her, and volunteer to work on social skills and conversation with her. They have been my daughter's best teachers because it's pretty much impossible how to teach your kid how to fit in socially.

One technique that works for us is doing a "social autopsy" when she has a situation that goes badly. When she is calm, we talk about what she did, and how it impacts other people. Then we discuss how she can better handle the same type of situation in the future, and we practice through role play.


Best wishes to you and your son.