Reply #4: You're in the worst part of the ordeal in many ways.

[Forkboy]

Right now you just know there's something wrong, and the uncertainty is what plays on the mind so bad. You do start to wonder about all kinds of things, like what might have caused it, etc.

My attitude was that it had to happen to somebody, and better me than some poor kid (I can't handle seeing kids go through this...it reduces me to a blubbering wreck every time). I'm not religious, so that angle never even popped into my head. I didn't see this as a punishment. It just is. Remember, religious people get cancer, too. You shouldn't blame yourself for this happening.

Once you see an oncologist you'll have some actual information to process, so it's not just your brain running through every imaginary angle, and then some. You'll have some concrete info to take in, and knowledge helps you get a handle on the fear. It's still a scary thing, but the knowledge makes it a lot easier to deal with.

Be sure to take your husband in the office with you. I don't bring anyone with me, and I find it hard to remember everything the doc says (it doesn't help that my endocrinologist is a stunning beauty). I wish I had an extra set of ears to help with that, because it can be hard to absorb all the stuff they'll tell you. So let him come with you (I'm assuming he'd want to anyways). It'll help him a lot, too.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

:pals: