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This was sent to me by a disillusioned Republican friend
2008 REPUBLICAN CONVENTION AGENDA
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance to George W. Bush 6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights 6:45 PM Salute to the Project for the New American Century 6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?" 7:30 PM Announcement: Mark Foley Was a Closet Democrat 7:35 PM Trent Lott - "Re-Segregation in the 21st Century" 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next 8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children 8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only) 8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future 9:00 PM Dennis Hastert leads discussion: How to Shirk Responsibility and Get Away with It 9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders" 9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings 10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Pat Robertson 10:15 PM Karl Rove Lecture: How to Commit Perjury and Obstruction of Justice and Get Away with It 10:35 PM George W. Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare 10:40 PM John Ashcroft: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt 10:45 PM GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice and Alberto Gonzales 10:46 PM Ann Coulter's Tribute "Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot" 10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy 11:10 PM Dick Cheney leads discussion: How to Shoot People, Cover It Up, and Get Away with It 11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult 11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again 11:35 PM Blame Bill Clinton 11:40 PM Twice-Divorced Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage" 11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore 11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself 12:00 PM Nomination of GW Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
-- ************************************************************************************************************** "If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy." - James Madison **************************************************************************************************************
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