Reply #26: "Psychopaths" and "family members"

[Tansy_Gold]

I think the distinction is made in the context of crime/violence.

We tend to think of "psychopath" (or sociopath) as one who is seriously mentally ill, who may not have a grasp of reality, who has no real control over her/his actions and/or sees those actions as normal and acceptable and necessary.

And while it's true that every psychopath is still a member of some family, so much of the violence perpetrated against women and girls is done by a member of their own family, and by someone who would not normally (sic) be considered a psychopath, we use the distinction.

Most of the women murdered in this country are killed by someone they know -- family member, boyfriend, husband/ex-husband. Their killers are overwhelmingly male.

Although more men are murdered in this country than women, most of the men are murdered by people with whom they do not have a family or intimate relationship, and most of their killers are male.

Of the men who are killed by women, many have been abusers or have instigated violence that escalates to killing "in self defense". Women who kill men in the context of abusive intimate relationships tend to be convicted at higher rates and receive longer prison sentences than men who kill women with whom they have had intimate relationships.

There are exceptions to the above, but statistically, the overwhelming percentage of violences is male-to-female.

About 30 years ago, a friend of mine killed his wife. All of us thought, because he had kind of a warped sense of humor and she was so quiet and unassuming, that he had been the aggressor. But it turned out that there had been a long history of "domestic disturbances," and it was the wife who was the abuser. The killing was not pre-meditated; it occurred when she attacked him with a large kitchen knife and in the struggle to get it away from her and protect himself, she was fatally stabbed. He served a brief prison sentence and did not appeal his conviction (manslaughter?? I don't remember the details) because he felt he was partly to blame for not making sure she got the mental health care she needed.

Tansy Gold