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The Traveler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-18-06 12:53 AM
Response to Reply #135
138. Here are some answers
Moral? Hell, I dunno. Ambiguous at best.

My parents would have been disapproving. It would not have been a first. On the other hand, I was taught by them not to be overly concerned about the reactions of others.

The other students did not know. I did not tell anyone about it for 20 years or so. It was a private matter.

Would it be cool for son or daughter? Again, it depends upon the situation and people involved. We want to be able to apply rigid standards to things, but real people are more complex than that. Sorry if that bothers you.

Nor am I concerned about your judgments. You do not know me, or nothing of my life except the brief snippet I have chosen to share with you. From my viewpoint, your reaction is, well, reactionary and shallow.

DU amuses me that way. There are so many fine, well intentioned people here who are so rigid in their viewpoints. Ossify as you will.
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  -Issues with Gender Equality, Raised by the Debra LaFave Case Sparkly  Sep-15-06 11:33 PM   #0 
  - how much of the shame girls feel has to do with society ?  JI7   Sep-15-06 11:44 PM   #1 
  - You hit on the very things I'm writing about.  Sparkly   Sep-15-06 11:51 PM   #3 
  - I think the fact she was a teacher - a person in an authority role - puts  Husb2Sparkly   Sep-15-06 11:51 PM   #4 
  - Oh, the Clown weighs in....  Sparkly   Sep-16-06 12:13 AM   #7 
  - Teachers are held to a higher standard because they are trained  Lindacooks   Sep-16-06 02:31 AM   #21 
  - Honestly, what adult is not in an authority role with a child? n/t  FedUpWithIt All   Sep-16-06 12:16 AM   #8 
     - Teachers have more power and influence with students  oldcoot   Sep-17-06 12:27 AM   #41 
  - When I was 16  pointblank   Sep-16-06 12:44 AM   #12 
     - Thanks!  Sparkly   Sep-16-06 12:55 AM   #15 
        - Thanks for your response  pointblank   Sep-16-06 01:49 AM   #19 
        - The strange thing is that one hundred years or so ago in many places  treestar   Sep-16-06 04:11 PM   #33 
  - I Don't Think They're Equal Whatsoever. And I Hear Ya.  OPERATIONMINDCRIME   Sep-15-06 11:45 PM   #2 
  - Thank yew.  Sparkly   Sep-15-06 11:59 PM   #5 
  - The underlying logic of dissimilar treatment based on gender...  lumberjack_jeff   Sep-16-06 07:20 PM   #34 
  - No flame here but a different perspective....  FedUpWithIt All   Sep-16-06 12:13 AM   #6 
  - I think you hit on another very valid aspect of this .... attractiveness  Husb2Sparkly   Sep-16-06 12:48 AM   #13 
  - I was writing back to you when our power went out....  Sparkly   Sep-16-06 01:20 AM   #17 
  - The sentence should be based on the damage that was caused  OregonDem   Sep-16-06 12:16 AM   #9 
  - more inequality...  Scoot420fla   Sep-16-06 12:32 AM   #10 
  - Good questions!  Sparkly   Sep-16-06 12:48 AM   #14 
     - there are other possibilities  hfojvt   Sep-16-06 01:41 AM   #18 
     - I am sure the older woman/young girl scenario occurs  mongo   Sep-16-06 09:45 PM   #37 
        - Come over to my neighborhood  Boomer   Sep-17-06 09:33 AM   #47 
        - Does that mean the "retarded" person should go without?  madmusic   Sep-17-06 11:05 PM   #125 
           - Not my place to say what they should do  Boomer   Sep-18-06 06:11 AM   #141 
           - No leap.  madmusic   Sep-18-06 10:08 AM   #148 
              - Disturbing issue, isn't it?  Boomer   Sep-18-06 07:12 PM   #175 
                 - Yeah, it's a tough one.  madmusic   Sep-19-06 12:07 AM   #179 
           - No, just that their is an inherent inequity of power  mongo   Sep-18-06 10:52 AM   #152 
              - But this "retarded" person is an adult.  madmusic   Sep-18-06 11:29 AM   #153 
                 - Wow.  mongo   Sep-18-06 11:57 AM   #156 
                    - Sorry for the misunderstanding.  madmusic   Sep-18-06 04:09 PM   #169 
        - A family lives across from my grandmother  Nikia   Sep-17-06 04:26 PM   #58 
        - Adult women can sexually abuse  melnjones   Sep-20-06 12:42 AM   #180 
  - Great post.  readmoreoften   Sep-16-06 12:36 AM   #11 
  - Right.  Sparkly   Sep-16-06 12:57 AM   #16 
  - Great point about the beatles....  pepperbear   Sep-16-06 02:01 AM   #20 
  - I find it interesting  marions ghost   Sep-16-06 04:08 AM   #22 
  - what if this teacher had gotten pregnant  dsc   Sep-16-06 07:20 AM   #23 
  - Speaking only for California  slackmaster   Sep-16-06 07:57 AM   #24 
  - They wait until he turns 18 and then sue  dsc   Sep-16-06 08:01 AM   #25 
  - As a straight former teacher, I share your aggravation.  TahitiNut   Sep-17-06 03:27 PM   #55 
  - That is a valid point  dsc   Sep-17-06 04:33 PM   #60 
     - I agree - just like killing a poor person shouldn't be a lesser offense  TahitiNut   Sep-17-06 06:49 PM   #81 
  - thank you...good points. nt  melnjones   Sep-20-06 12:44 AM   #181 
  - The problem is very simple...  sendero   Sep-16-06 08:02 AM   #26 
  - Excellent points  lukasahero   Sep-16-06 09:56 AM   #27 
  - I tend to agree  marions ghost   Sep-16-06 10:11 AM   #28 
  - Good post and I agree....  Finder   Sep-16-06 10:22 AM   #29 
  - Either the law is gender-blind or it is not.  lumberjack_jeff   Sep-16-06 10:43 AM   #30 
  - Fascinating subject.  madmusic   Sep-16-06 11:19 AM   #31 
  - To put the decision on the child is the height of stupidity  dsc   Sep-16-06 03:38 PM   #32 
  - You lost me, dsc.  madmusic   Sep-16-06 08:36 PM   #36 
     - I meant the Netherlands  dsc   Sep-17-06 05:43 AM   #43 
        - You would have a good point if...  madmusic   Sep-17-06 01:21 PM   #50 
  - Really great post  mongo   Sep-16-06 09:48 PM   #38 
     - That is understandable.  madmusic   Sep-17-06 01:59 PM   #51 
  - Frankly, I think this does highlight a double-standard- but not  Marr   Sep-16-06 07:38 PM   #35 
  - I detest pedophilia.  mmonk   Sep-16-06 09:51 PM   #39 
  - The adult is in the position of power.  mmonk   Sep-16-06 10:21 PM   #40 
  - Do the crime, do the time  oldcoot   Sep-17-06 01:17 AM   #42 
  - I would be for increasing punishment  mmonk   Sep-17-06 07:25 AM   #44 
  - Why are feminists qualified to make all these assessments about men...  LoZoccolo   Sep-17-06 08:48 AM   #45 
  - Not all feminists are women and not all women are feminists  oldcoot   Sep-17-06 09:10 AM   #46 
  - I certainly didn't mean to claim to read men's minds.  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 05:03 PM   #64 
  - Men and boys  Boomer   Sep-17-06 09:47 AM   #48 
  - Dan Savage wrote a column about this once  Withywindle   Sep-17-06 03:03 PM   #53 
  - I agressively sought out a 21 year old  dsc   Sep-17-06 04:46 PM   #61 
  - In both cases they are child molestors and  FILAM23   Sep-17-06 10:57 AM   #49 
  - Child sex crime murders are VERY rare.  madmusic   Sep-17-06 02:43 PM   #52 
  - Teachers should be punished harshly regardless of their gender  Nikia   Sep-17-06 03:13 PM   #54 
  - As a teacher  yasmina27   Sep-17-06 03:35 PM   #56 
  - Do you think 15 years is too much?  madmusic   Sep-17-06 03:58 PM   #57 
  - fortunately or unfortunately  yasmina27   Sep-17-06 04:27 PM   #59 
  - Yes, I know someone who did marry his student after she graduated.  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 05:26 PM   #68 
  - I disagree with every bit of this ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 04:50 PM   #62 
  - You have a lot of very valid points here  dsc   Sep-17-06 04:54 PM   #63 
  - Thank you ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 05:32 PM   #70 
     - I would have been far better off if he had done what your friend did  dsc   Sep-17-06 07:53 PM   #90 
  - Disagreement is welcome.  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 05:18 PM   #65 
  - Let me clarify ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 05:38 PM   #72 
     - Thanks for the clarification.  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 05:48 PM   #73 
        - Poll answers ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 06:06 PM   #76 
           - That's a possibility.  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 06:46 PM   #80 
           - Guessing, speculation, and making it up ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 07:35 PM   #85 
              - You're right. I mean, for all we know...  madmusic   Sep-17-06 07:42 PM   #86 
              - Just so you know ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 08:01 PM   #92 
              - I wasn't sure to put a reply to this post because  Annces   Sep-17-06 07:53 PM   #89 
              - Precisely ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 08:03 PM   #93 
                 - Thanks for your posts  Phx_Dem   Sep-18-06 10:26 AM   #150 
              - I'm listening.  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 08:05 PM   #94 
                 - I think we'll have to agree to disagree ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-18-06 12:38 AM   #134 
           - Wow, a lot of prejudice and stereotype?  madmusic   Sep-17-06 07:24 PM   #83 
              - Interesting ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 07:48 PM   #88 
              - You're welcome.  madmusic   Sep-17-06 08:11 PM   #95 
                 - 15 Years ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 08:31 PM   #97 
              - Fascinating -- and the questions to me are....  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 08:39 PM   #98 
                 - You're welcome. I wondered all those things, too.  madmusic   Sep-17-06 09:56 PM   #112 
                    - Me, too! And why is that??  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 10:16 PM   #115 
                       - As your second poster asked (paraphrased)  madmusic   Sep-17-06 11:36 PM   #126 
                          - Ability to talk ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-18-06 12:17 AM   #130 
  - Thank you!  Bunny   Sep-17-06 05:22 PM   #66 
  - "Degrees of wrongness"  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 05:35 PM   #71 
     - Let me ask you this ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 05:59 PM   #75 
        - "the dichotomy you've developed"  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 07:04 PM   #82 
  - As I said in my private message, no flames from me.  madmusic   Sep-17-06 05:58 PM   #74 
  - Fully aware of that ...  RoyGBiv   Sep-17-06 06:09 PM   #77 
     - Thanks.  madmusic   Sep-17-06 06:15 PM   #78 
  - Thank you.  Mass   Sep-18-06 10:15 AM   #149 
  - Damn. I wish I could have said it as well as you.  lumberjack_jeff   Sep-18-06 11:37 AM   #154 
  - I'm a feminist, and I disagree vehemently with the OP.  athena   Sep-18-06 05:19 PM   #172 
  - Friend,  melnjones   Sep-20-06 12:45 AM   #182 
  - I think the problem is the "where were those hot teachers when I was 15"  Odin2005   Sep-17-06 05:23 PM   #67 
  - Is that all it's based on?  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 05:28 PM   #69 
  - Your poll demonstrated the honesty that comes with anonymity.  LostInAnomie   Sep-17-06 09:16 PM   #102 
     - I agree with much of that.  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 09:51 PM   #111 
     - This is kind of a tricky case in the first place.  LostInAnomie   Sep-17-06 10:44 PM   #122 
     - Bingo.  Odin2005   Sep-18-06 06:57 PM   #173 
  - Gosh, that "lame joke" has gotten so old and on so many levels - not cute  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 06:17 PM   #79 
     - Does age have anything to do with it?  madmusic   Sep-17-06 07:48 PM   #87 
        - In civilized society, it's learned and rewarded demented behavior  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 08:55 PM   #99 
  - you feminists can't have it both ways  Raydawg1234   Sep-17-06 07:29 PM   #84 
  - The Van Halen Song is cool, BUT if "The Teacher" ACTS ON the crush  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 09:01 PM   #100 
     - abuse? we should have more teachers like her,  Raydawg1234   Sep-17-06 09:35 PM   #105 
  - I think the idea that they're the same is laughable....  BlooInBloo   Sep-17-06 07:59 PM   #91 
  - You (and many others) articulate the "common sense."  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 08:21 PM   #96 
     - Perhaps I'm strange but if it was my son who was seduced, I'd raise HELL  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 09:06 PM   #101 
        - I think you voice another side of what's considered "common sense"  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 09:27 PM   #103 
        - I don't think you are challenging our thinking  mongo   Sep-18-06 01:16 PM   #161 
        - Good post.  Odin2005   Sep-18-06 07:12 PM   #174 
        - I might well raise hell too... *that's* not what's different...  BlooInBloo   Sep-17-06 09:27 PM   #104 
           - I don't think you fully realize that there can be emotional problems  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 09:36 PM   #106 
              - And I don't think you fully realize what the word "typically" means.  BlooInBloo   Sep-17-06 09:41 PM   #108 
                 - I know from education and observing the testimonies of both Perpetrators  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 09:47 PM   #109 
                    - Now you're just talking about something I never said anything about...  BlooInBloo   Sep-17-06 09:57 PM   #113 
                    - I've miffed you, but no, having sex with a minor is not ever TYPICAL  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 10:09 PM   #114 
                    - You haven't miffed me in the least. You have contradicted yourself...  BlooInBloo   Sep-17-06 10:29 PM   #118 
                       - I respect your opinion as well. :-)  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 10:32 PM   #120 
                    - sex addiction  Phx_Dem   Sep-18-06 10:48 AM   #151 
                       - Why there's no such thing as sex addiction  mongo   Sep-18-06 01:24 PM   #162 
                          - beg to differ  Phx_Dem   Sep-18-06 02:11 PM   #164 
                          - What exactly makes this a "new" disorder?  mongo   Sep-18-06 02:30 PM   #165 
                          - Agreed. "Just say no" is no good.  madmusic   Sep-18-06 04:28 PM   #170 
                    - Hold up there.... "IN EVERY CASE?"  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 10:47 PM   #123 
                    - Feel free to read the Mental Health Journals ...  ShortnFiery   Sep-17-06 11:58 PM   #128 
                    - That was a very emotional post.  Sparkly   Sep-18-06 12:13 AM   #129 
                       - Oh Stop! You know that my post makes sense and with a little research  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 12:26 AM   #132 
                    - lotsa luck, sparkly.  BlooInBloo   Sep-18-06 12:45 AM   #137 
                       - Didn't you note that I corrected myself Bloo?  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 12:56 AM   #139 
                    - "In every case"? Not a chance,....  Hell Hath No Fury   Sep-18-06 12:54 PM   #160 
  - A "bigger" issue?  madmusic   Sep-17-06 09:36 PM   #107 
  - Without clicking on your link yet,  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 10:21 PM   #116 
  - The ADULT in this case failed restraining herself, and took advantage  The Straight Story   Sep-17-06 09:49 PM   #110 
  - I wasn't so much thinking of her....  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 10:30 PM   #119 
  - The laws are designed to protect the minors.  mmonk   Sep-17-06 10:27 PM   #117 
  - "it ain't about you, it's about our young people."  Sparkly   Sep-17-06 10:55 PM   #124 
     - Based on what? The men of DU?  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 12:20 AM   #131 
  - IMO, this is child abuse  rosesaylavee   Sep-17-06 10:39 PM   #121 
  - Error: you can only recommend threads which were started in the past 24 ho  helderheid   Sep-17-06 11:39 PM   #127 
  - No flame  The Traveler   Sep-18-06 12:31 AM   #133 
  - I only have a few questions -  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 12:38 AM   #135 
     - Here are some answers  The Traveler   Sep-18-06 12:53 AM   #138 
        - I accept you answers as genuine ...  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 01:10 AM   #140 
  - Research shows that boys are harmed by it  thecatburgler   Sep-18-06 12:44 AM   #136 
  - I think you can't dicuss this kind of stuff without looking at cultural  bleedingheart   Sep-18-06 07:45 AM   #142 
  - Well in AmeriKKKa it's still illegal for a Woman teacher to break the  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 09:09 AM   #143 
  - who are directing your rage towards?  bleedingheart   Sep-18-06 02:51 PM   #168 
  - What exactly is a "child"?  Boomer   Sep-18-06 07:29 PM   #176 
     - that is a good question  bleedingheart   Sep-18-06 07:51 PM   #177 
        - Not that uncommon in some areas  Boomer   Sep-18-06 08:32 PM   #178 
  - There's the crime, and then there the damage.  aikoaiko   Sep-18-06 09:22 AM   #144 
  - But what you, with sincere respect, FAIL to realize having  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 09:38 AM   #146 
     - We have the same bottom line.  aikoaiko   Sep-18-06 01:32 PM   #163 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Sep-18-06 09:23 AM   #145 
  - thank-you  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 09:47 AM   #147 
     - This is a Paraphrase the BASIC "appropriate parts" - politely ...  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 11:50 AM   #155 
        - ...sigh....  Sparkly   Sep-18-06 12:11 PM   #157 
           - I really think you should talk with people who work with Victims and  ShortnFiery   Sep-18-06 12:38 PM   #159 
  - Seeking unequal treatment under law is inherently unequal.  The Stranger   Sep-18-06 12:17 PM   #158 
  - Should the punishment fit the crime?  madmusic   Sep-18-06 04:57 PM   #171 
  - I lost my own virginity  Spinoza   Sep-18-06 02:35 PM   #166 
     - Just because it worked out OK for you  Phx_Dem   Sep-18-06 02:38 PM   #167 
 

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