RoyGBiv
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Sun Sep-17-06 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #73 |
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Edited on Sun Sep-17-06 06:07 PM by RoyGBiv
One further clarification since I do not seem to be getting my point across.
I too trust that they are answering as honestly as they can while trying to remember their 14-year-old selves. They're answering in the context of the fantasies they had. As a 14-year-old boy I had a fantasy about owning a Harrier jump jet and being able to park it in my back yard and fly it to school where I'd so impress all the girls that they'd all want to take a ride with me and have sex at 20,000 feet while flying at the speed of sound. And as a 14-year-old boy I never thought anything negative could come of this, like, say, blowing apart my neighbors houses from the exhaust from the jet or how exactly you have sex in a military plane.
Now, had I actually owned that jet and had I actually managed to get all the girls at school to have sex with me in it, I could probably tell you about the experience and what kind of problems it caused or didn't cause. Since that didn't happen, I can only speculate. And it still seems like a pretty cool fantasy.
Sillyness aside, my point is as I stated. The respondents by and large could offer whatever speculation they wanted about how they would have felt about such an experience, and the *speculation* would be truthful. They cannot answer the question of how it did make them feel or how it has affected them because the vast majority did not in fact have a sexual encounter with a "hot" teacher. Among those who did, the psychological and emotional effects may not be consciously known.
|
| -Issues with Gender Equality, Raised by the Debra LaFave Case |
Sparkly |
Sep-15-06 11:33 PM |
#0 |
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how much of the shame girls feel has to do with society ? |
JI7 |
Sep-15-06 11:44 PM |
#1 |
 -
You hit on the very things I'm writing about. |
Sparkly |
Sep-15-06 11:51 PM |
#3 |
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I think the fact she was a teacher - a person in an authority role - puts |
Husb2Sparkly |
Sep-15-06 11:51 PM |
#4 |
  -
Oh, the Clown weighs in.... |
Sparkly |
Sep-16-06 12:13 AM |
#7 |
   -
Teachers are held to a higher standard because they are trained |
Lindacooks |
Sep-16-06 02:31 AM |
#21 |
  -
Honestly, what adult is not in an authority role with a child? n/t |
FedUpWithIt All |
Sep-16-06 12:16 AM |
#8 |
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Teachers have more power and influence with students |
oldcoot |
Sep-17-06 12:27 AM |
#41 |
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When I was 16 |
pointblank |
Sep-16-06 12:44 AM |
#12 |
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Thanks! |
Sparkly |
Sep-16-06 12:55 AM |
#15 |
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Thanks for your response |
pointblank |
Sep-16-06 01:49 AM |
#19 |
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The strange thing is that one hundred years or so ago in many places |
treestar |
Sep-16-06 04:11 PM |
#33 |
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I Don't Think They're Equal Whatsoever. And I Hear Ya. |
OPERATIONMINDCRIME |
Sep-15-06 11:45 PM |
#2 |
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Thank yew. |
Sparkly |
Sep-15-06 11:59 PM |
#5 |
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The underlying logic of dissimilar treatment based on gender... |
lumberjack_jeff |
Sep-16-06 07:20 PM |
#34 |
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No flame here but a different perspective.... |
FedUpWithIt All |
Sep-16-06 12:13 AM |
#6 |
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I think you hit on another very valid aspect of this .... attractiveness |
Husb2Sparkly |
Sep-16-06 12:48 AM |
#13 |
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I was writing back to you when our power went out.... |
Sparkly |
Sep-16-06 01:20 AM |
#17 |
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The sentence should be based on the damage that was caused |
OregonDem |
Sep-16-06 12:16 AM |
#9 |
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more inequality... |
Scoot420fla |
Sep-16-06 12:32 AM |
#10 |
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Good questions! |
Sparkly |
Sep-16-06 12:48 AM |
#14 |
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there are other possibilities |
hfojvt |
Sep-16-06 01:41 AM |
#18 |
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I am sure the older woman/young girl scenario occurs |
mongo |
Sep-16-06 09:45 PM |
#37 |
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Come over to my neighborhood |
Boomer |
Sep-17-06 09:33 AM |
#47 |
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Does that mean the "retarded" person should go without? |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 11:05 PM |
#125 |
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Not my place to say what they should do |
Boomer |
Sep-18-06 06:11 AM |
#141 |
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No leap. |
madmusic |
Sep-18-06 10:08 AM |
#148 |
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Disturbing issue, isn't it? |
Boomer |
Sep-18-06 07:12 PM |
#175 |
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Yeah, it's a tough one. |
madmusic |
Sep-19-06 12:07 AM |
#179 |
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No, just that their is an inherent inequity of power |
mongo |
Sep-18-06 10:52 AM |
#152 |
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But this "retarded" person is an adult. |
madmusic |
Sep-18-06 11:29 AM |
#153 |
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Wow. |
mongo |
Sep-18-06 11:57 AM |
#156 |
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Sorry for the misunderstanding. |
madmusic |
Sep-18-06 04:09 PM |
#169 |
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A family lives across from my grandmother |
Nikia |
Sep-17-06 04:26 PM |
#58 |
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Adult women can sexually abuse |
melnjones |
Sep-20-06 12:42 AM |
#180 |
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Great post. |
readmoreoften |
Sep-16-06 12:36 AM |
#11 |
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Right. |
Sparkly |
Sep-16-06 12:57 AM |
#16 |
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Great point about the beatles.... |
pepperbear |
Sep-16-06 02:01 AM |
#20 |
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I find it interesting |
marions ghost |
Sep-16-06 04:08 AM |
#22 |
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what if this teacher had gotten pregnant |
dsc |
Sep-16-06 07:20 AM |
#23 |
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Speaking only for California |
slackmaster |
Sep-16-06 07:57 AM |
#24 |
  -
They wait until he turns 18 and then sue |
dsc |
Sep-16-06 08:01 AM |
#25 |
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As a straight former teacher, I share your aggravation. |
TahitiNut |
Sep-17-06 03:27 PM |
#55 |
  -
That is a valid point |
dsc |
Sep-17-06 04:33 PM |
#60 |
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I agree - just like killing a poor person shouldn't be a lesser offense |
TahitiNut |
Sep-17-06 06:49 PM |
#81 |
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thank you...good points. nt |
melnjones |
Sep-20-06 12:44 AM |
#181 |
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The problem is very simple... |
sendero |
Sep-16-06 08:02 AM |
#26 |
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Excellent points |
lukasahero |
Sep-16-06 09:56 AM |
#27 |
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I tend to agree |
marions ghost |
Sep-16-06 10:11 AM |
#28 |
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Good post and I agree.... |
Finder |
Sep-16-06 10:22 AM |
#29 |
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Either the law is gender-blind or it is not. |
lumberjack_jeff |
Sep-16-06 10:43 AM |
#30 |
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Fascinating subject. |
madmusic |
Sep-16-06 11:19 AM |
#31 |
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To put the decision on the child is the height of stupidity |
dsc |
Sep-16-06 03:38 PM |
#32 |
  -
You lost me, dsc. |
madmusic |
Sep-16-06 08:36 PM |
#36 |
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I meant the Netherlands |
dsc |
Sep-17-06 05:43 AM |
#43 |
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You would have a good point if... |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 01:21 PM |
#50 |
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Really great post |
mongo |
Sep-16-06 09:48 PM |
#38 |
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That is understandable. |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 01:59 PM |
#51 |
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Frankly, I think this does highlight a double-standard- but not |
Marr |
Sep-16-06 07:38 PM |
#35 |
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I detest pedophilia. |
mmonk |
Sep-16-06 09:51 PM |
#39 |
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The adult is in the position of power. |
mmonk |
Sep-16-06 10:21 PM |
#40 |
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Do the crime, do the time |
oldcoot |
Sep-17-06 01:17 AM |
#42 |
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I would be for increasing punishment |
mmonk |
Sep-17-06 07:25 AM |
#44 |
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Why are feminists qualified to make all these assessments about men... |
LoZoccolo |
Sep-17-06 08:48 AM |
#45 |
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Not all feminists are women and not all women are feminists |
oldcoot |
Sep-17-06 09:10 AM |
#46 |
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I certainly didn't mean to claim to read men's minds. |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 05:03 PM |
#64 |
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Men and boys |
Boomer |
Sep-17-06 09:47 AM |
#48 |
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Dan Savage wrote a column about this once |
Withywindle |
Sep-17-06 03:03 PM |
#53 |
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I agressively sought out a 21 year old |
dsc |
Sep-17-06 04:46 PM |
#61 |
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In both cases they are child molestors and |
FILAM23 |
Sep-17-06 10:57 AM |
#49 |
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Child sex crime murders are VERY rare. |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 02:43 PM |
#52 |
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Teachers should be punished harshly regardless of their gender |
Nikia |
Sep-17-06 03:13 PM |
#54 |
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As a teacher |
yasmina27 |
Sep-17-06 03:35 PM |
#56 |
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Do you think 15 years is too much? |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 03:58 PM |
#57 |
  -
fortunately or unfortunately |
yasmina27 |
Sep-17-06 04:27 PM |
#59 |
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Yes, I know someone who did marry his student after she graduated. |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 05:26 PM |
#68 |
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I disagree with every bit of this ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 04:50 PM |
#62 |
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You have a lot of very valid points here |
dsc |
Sep-17-06 04:54 PM |
#63 |
  -
Thank you ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 05:32 PM |
#70 |
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I would have been far better off if he had done what your friend did |
dsc |
Sep-17-06 07:53 PM |
#90 |
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Disagreement is welcome. |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 05:18 PM |
#65 |
  -
Let me clarify ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 05:38 PM |
#72 |
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Thanks for the clarification. |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 05:48 PM |
#73 |
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Poll answers ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 06:06 PM |
#76 |
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That's a possibility. |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 06:46 PM |
#80 |
  -
Guessing, speculation, and making it up ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 07:35 PM |
#85 |
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You're right. I mean, for all we know... |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 07:42 PM |
#86 |
  -
Just so you know ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 08:01 PM |
#92 |
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I wasn't sure to put a reply to this post because |
Annces |
Sep-17-06 07:53 PM |
#89 |
  -
Precisely ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 08:03 PM |
#93 |
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Thanks for your posts |
Phx_Dem |
Sep-18-06 10:26 AM |
#150 |
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I'm listening. |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 08:05 PM |
#94 |
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I think we'll have to agree to disagree ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-18-06 12:38 AM |
#134 |
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Wow, a lot of prejudice and stereotype? |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 07:24 PM |
#83 |
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Interesting ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 07:48 PM |
#88 |
  -
You're welcome. |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 08:11 PM |
#95 |
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15 Years ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 08:31 PM |
#97 |
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Fascinating -- and the questions to me are.... |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 08:39 PM |
#98 |
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You're welcome. I wondered all those things, too. |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 09:56 PM |
#112 |
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Me, too! And why is that?? |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 10:16 PM |
#115 |
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As your second poster asked (paraphrased) |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 11:36 PM |
#126 |
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Ability to talk ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-18-06 12:17 AM |
#130 |
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Thank you! |
Bunny |
Sep-17-06 05:22 PM |
#66 |
  -
"Degrees of wrongness" |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 05:35 PM |
#71 |
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Let me ask you this ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 05:59 PM |
#75 |
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"the dichotomy you've developed" |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 07:04 PM |
#82 |
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As I said in my private message, no flames from me. |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 05:58 PM |
#74 |
  -
Fully aware of that ... |
RoyGBiv |
Sep-17-06 06:09 PM |
#77 |
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Thanks. |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 06:15 PM |
#78 |
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Thank you. |
Mass |
Sep-18-06 10:15 AM |
#149 |
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Damn. I wish I could have said it as well as you. |
lumberjack_jeff |
Sep-18-06 11:37 AM |
#154 |
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I'm a feminist, and I disagree vehemently with the OP. |
athena |
Sep-18-06 05:19 PM |
#172 |
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Friend, |
melnjones |
Sep-20-06 12:45 AM |
#182 |
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I think the problem is the "where were those hot teachers when I was 15" |
Odin2005 |
Sep-17-06 05:23 PM |
#67 |
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Is that all it's based on? |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 05:28 PM |
#69 |
  -
Your poll demonstrated the honesty that comes with anonymity. |
LostInAnomie |
Sep-17-06 09:16 PM |
#102 |
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I agree with much of that. |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 09:51 PM |
#111 |
  -
This is kind of a tricky case in the first place. |
LostInAnomie |
Sep-17-06 10:44 PM |
#122 |
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Bingo. |
Odin2005 |
Sep-18-06 06:57 PM |
#173 |
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Gosh, that "lame joke" has gotten so old and on so many levels - not cute |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 06:17 PM |
#79 |
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Does age have anything to do with it? |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 07:48 PM |
#87 |
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In civilized society, it's learned and rewarded demented behavior |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 08:55 PM |
#99 |
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you feminists can't have it both ways |
Raydawg1234 |
Sep-17-06 07:29 PM |
#84 |
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The Van Halen Song is cool, BUT if "The Teacher" ACTS ON the crush |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 09:01 PM |
#100 |
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abuse? we should have more teachers like her, |
Raydawg1234 |
Sep-17-06 09:35 PM |
#105 |
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I think the idea that they're the same is laughable.... |
BlooInBloo |
Sep-17-06 07:59 PM |
#91 |
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You (and many others) articulate the "common sense." |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 08:21 PM |
#96 |
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Perhaps I'm strange but if it was my son who was seduced, I'd raise HELL |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 09:06 PM |
#101 |
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I think you voice another side of what's considered "common sense" |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 09:27 PM |
#103 |
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I don't think you are challenging our thinking |
mongo |
Sep-18-06 01:16 PM |
#161 |
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Good post. |
Odin2005 |
Sep-18-06 07:12 PM |
#174 |
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I might well raise hell too... *that's* not what's different... |
BlooInBloo |
Sep-17-06 09:27 PM |
#104 |
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I don't think you fully realize that there can be emotional problems |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 09:36 PM |
#106 |
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And I don't think you fully realize what the word "typically" means. |
BlooInBloo |
Sep-17-06 09:41 PM |
#108 |
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I know from education and observing the testimonies of both Perpetrators |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 09:47 PM |
#109 |
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Now you're just talking about something I never said anything about... |
BlooInBloo |
Sep-17-06 09:57 PM |
#113 |
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I've miffed you, but no, having sex with a minor is not ever TYPICAL |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 10:09 PM |
#114 |
  -
You haven't miffed me in the least. You have contradicted yourself... |
BlooInBloo |
Sep-17-06 10:29 PM |
#118 |
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I respect your opinion as well. :-) |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 10:32 PM |
#120 |
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sex addiction |
Phx_Dem |
Sep-18-06 10:48 AM |
#151 |
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Why there's no such thing as sex addiction |
mongo |
Sep-18-06 01:24 PM |
#162 |
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beg to differ |
Phx_Dem |
Sep-18-06 02:11 PM |
#164 |
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What exactly makes this a "new" disorder? |
mongo |
Sep-18-06 02:30 PM |
#165 |
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Agreed. "Just say no" is no good. |
madmusic |
Sep-18-06 04:28 PM |
#170 |
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Hold up there.... "IN EVERY CASE?" |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 10:47 PM |
#123 |
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Feel free to read the Mental Health Journals ... |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-17-06 11:58 PM |
#128 |
  -
That was a very emotional post. |
Sparkly |
Sep-18-06 12:13 AM |
#129 |
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Oh Stop! You know that my post makes sense and with a little research |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 12:26 AM |
#132 |
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lotsa luck, sparkly. |
BlooInBloo |
Sep-18-06 12:45 AM |
#137 |
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Didn't you note that I corrected myself Bloo? |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 12:56 AM |
#139 |
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"In every case"? Not a chance,.... |
Hell Hath No Fury |
Sep-18-06 12:54 PM |
#160 |
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A "bigger" issue? |
madmusic |
Sep-17-06 09:36 PM |
#107 |
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Without clicking on your link yet, |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 10:21 PM |
#116 |
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The ADULT in this case failed restraining herself, and took advantage |
The Straight Story |
Sep-17-06 09:49 PM |
#110 |
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I wasn't so much thinking of her.... |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 10:30 PM |
#119 |
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The laws are designed to protect the minors. |
mmonk |
Sep-17-06 10:27 PM |
#117 |
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"it ain't about you, it's about our young people." |
Sparkly |
Sep-17-06 10:55 PM |
#124 |
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Based on what? The men of DU? |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 12:20 AM |
#131 |
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IMO, this is child abuse |
rosesaylavee |
Sep-17-06 10:39 PM |
#121 |
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Error: you can only recommend threads which were started in the past 24 ho |
helderheid |
Sep-17-06 11:39 PM |
#127 |
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No flame |
The Traveler |
Sep-18-06 12:31 AM |
#133 |
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I only have a few questions - |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 12:38 AM |
#135 |
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Here are some answers |
The Traveler |
Sep-18-06 12:53 AM |
#138 |
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I accept you answers as genuine ... |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 01:10 AM |
#140 |
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Research shows that boys are harmed by it |
thecatburgler |
Sep-18-06 12:44 AM |
#136 |
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I think you can't dicuss this kind of stuff without looking at cultural |
bleedingheart |
Sep-18-06 07:45 AM |
#142 |
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Well in AmeriKKKa it's still illegal for a Woman teacher to break the |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 09:09 AM |
#143 |
  -
who are directing your rage towards? |
bleedingheart |
Sep-18-06 02:51 PM |
#168 |
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What exactly is a "child"? |
Boomer |
Sep-18-06 07:29 PM |
#176 |
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that is a good question |
bleedingheart |
Sep-18-06 07:51 PM |
#177 |
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Not that uncommon in some areas |
Boomer |
Sep-18-06 08:32 PM |
#178 |
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There's the crime, and then there the damage. |
aikoaiko |
Sep-18-06 09:22 AM |
#144 |
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But what you, with sincere respect, FAIL to realize having |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 09:38 AM |
#146 |
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We have the same bottom line. |
aikoaiko |
Sep-18-06 01:32 PM |
#163 |
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Deleted message |
Name removed |
Sep-18-06 09:23 AM |
#145 |
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thank-you |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 09:47 AM |
#147 |
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This is a Paraphrase the BASIC "appropriate parts" - politely ... |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 11:50 AM |
#155 |
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...sigh.... |
Sparkly |
Sep-18-06 12:11 PM |
#157 |
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I really think you should talk with people who work with Victims and |
ShortnFiery |
Sep-18-06 12:38 PM |
#159 |
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Seeking unequal treatment under law is inherently unequal. |
The Stranger |
Sep-18-06 12:17 PM |
#158 |
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Should the punishment fit the crime? |
madmusic |
Sep-18-06 04:57 PM |
#171 |
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I lost my own virginity |
Spinoza |
Sep-18-06 02:35 PM |
#166 |
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Just because it worked out OK for you |
Phx_Dem |
Sep-18-06 02:38 PM |
#167 |