What if the Rapture actually hurts?

[gulliver]

When we say people were "called home by God," we usually mean they have died. And a lot of those deaths -- perhaps most -- are "less than desirable." So what if the Rapture works that way? What if God actually implements The Rapture using heart attacks and IEDs? Or sharks? The time comes and sharks suddenly swim down from the sky and chew the elect to ribbons -- right in their cars with the W bumper stickers.

What if the Apocalypse misfires? Suppose the Middle East melts down, and a nuclear war is sparked. And then Gog and Magog (whatever) rise from the sea with seven heads (whatever). And then it just turns into some boring, dreary decade where all of mankind dies slowly of starvation, radiation sickness, and countless forms of brute murder. And then it's all over, and Jesus never comes back. And evolution continues with arthropods and weeds.

Wouldn't that be ironic? The dopey fairy tale never comes true. Only the realistic disaster part happens. Israel is destroyed, and nine tenths of everything else, but none of the lyrical, mythological, FX stuff happens. The mushroom clouds bulge upward, but they end up being portents of nothing more than the sane would expect, bad times ahead. All the power dies. And we're all still sitting here the next day, sweating in the heat or freezing, wondering about our next meal, and thinking what idiots we were.