Reply #204: It depends so much on how you do it

[conflictgirl]

Just FYI, we raised our kids when they were little by the attachment parenting method, and the kids are great so far. (Oldest just finished second grade, so it's not like we've dealt with the teen years yet.) Our kids rarely throw tantrums, almost never in a public place, and are appropriately needy in our opinion. Not excessively - and I do know exactly what you're talking about - but also not entirely independent either. It worries me when people say they want their children to learn independence from toddlerhood. There's plenty of time for kids to grow up and it's supposed to be a gradual process, you know?

I think what results in poorly behaved or overly needy kids is not really attachment parenting per se, I think it's when the parents are inconsistent with setting limits or the parents are the ones who (consciously or otherwise) foster neediness for longer than necessary.

Follow your heart and set reasonable limits that you feel comfortable with, and your kids will likely turn out ok.