Reply #83: Independence and self-determination

[Karenina]

are definitively NOT the goals of the U.S. military.

I feel so very sorry for your son and only pray that you "get it" before he's "legally" an adult, if he is not already.

I am DELIGHTED that the NURTURING, KNEE-JERK PROTECTIVE SPIRIT of my "veto," among so many others (TomJoad, I LOVE YOU!!!:loveya:), found its way to support Jared's parents who have been so dedicated to educating and mainstreaming him.

"In my experience, those that have the hardest time with the idea of independence for those with disabilities are the parents."

In MY experience, those that have the hardest time with the idea that their children are "wired differently" and require close monitoring on their way to independence are the parents who, for their own reasons, have difficulties accepting the diagnosis and figuring out what it actually means for their own child. THERE ARE NO ROADMAPS. We're ALL charting them as we go along. I did my bit many years ago observing over a hundred kids and writing laymans' reports for our pediatrician.

Jeff, you and I ARE on the same side. We both have children affected. My kid is an adult. My take on your posts is that you're dealing with a child and what YOU want for him as an adult. Did you read Jared's manifestations? Were they just too frightening? Do you wish to cling to the notion that your son at 18 will be a "legally competent adult?" HE MAY WELL BE and I certainly wish that for you and your family. However, reading your posts on THIS PARTICULAR CASE made me so scared for your baby. For HIS sake, you need to GET IT.