Reply #21: Sometimes I wonder what it may have been like

[bliss_eternal]

to grow up outside of southern California. When you grow up here, and the world you live in is cold, ugly, dirty, etc. and you turn on the tv or go to the movies and WHOOOSH--you're transported to another world! A part of you wants to be a part of that world, if only to escape the hostility and ugliness of your everyday experience.

Another part of growing up here is what is the focus on tv here vs. other places. Today EVERYONE sees E! and Entertainment Tonight and stuff like that, so celeb news is a part of everyone's norm. But when I was growing up, it was my norm because I lived in southern California and that is the norm HERE.

As a young girl, I feel I noticed the emphasis that was placed on women in the movies and on tv. People in my world talked about THEM--no one talked about ME, or even TO me for that matter. If you live in an environment where no one pays attention to you--or the only time they do is to take note of your physical appearance(you're so skinny. You're so beautiful), that is what you learn has value. At least this is the way it was for me.

Some of those old tapes still play. Sometimes it's difficult for me to discern if it is me, acting on genuine desires on my part or if it is them in my head--planting the seeds of what attracted THEIR attention.