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Reply #39: You're going to see that anywhere on the Internet [View All]

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Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Women » Feminists Group Donate to DU
geniph Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:51 PM
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39. You're going to see that anywhere on the Internet
because, like it or not, most of the internets (sic) is still dominated by men, and most especially by young guys who are still wet behind the ears. The stereotype of the pasty geek in his mid-20s living in mom's basement and spending 90% of his waking hours on the 'net is not dead. Sure, there's a lot of us who don't fit that - and some of those pasty geeks HAVE actually spoken to actual, live women and formed reasonable opinions of them - but there's one whole hell of a lot of guys on the Internet who still see women as commodities, primarily because they don't actually know any.

What we can do to make a difference - well, if it's your son, educate the little sucker! Other than that, to me one of the biggest things we can do is not buy into the whole stereotype of women as certain things that the media pushes on us so hard. Don't be that bitchy wife who makes lists of chores for her husband on Saturday and then goes out and puts $300 on the credit cards for clothes. Do some of the chores yourself and spend your own money, not his. We can only change stereotypes by making sure we, ourselves, do not embody them - and sadly, I still know too many women who DO fit right into the nastiest of cultural pigeonholes. Materialistic women who judge men by their bank accounts, women who use bitching and nagging instead of reasoning to get their way, women who cry to win an argument, women who flutter about and exhibit learned helplessness. If you find yourself engaging in such behaviors under circumstances where people will use it to reinforce cultural stereotypes, STOP.
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  -Do you agree that there is a great deal of anti-feminism on DU and if efhmc  Jun-08-05 09:48 AM   #0 
  - Ironically, I see more anti-feminism by females than males...  Finder   Jun-08-05 09:53 AM   #1 
  - Well how do you define the word? When I use it here, I always mean the  efhmc   Jun-08-05 10:01 AM   #3 
  - Per the group rules  lukasahero   Jun-08-05 10:14 AM   #7 
     - Well there it is, well defined and clear. I think I'll add it to my sig.  efhmc   Jun-08-05 10:30 AM   #12 
  - It's everywhere  ananda   Jun-08-05 09:56 AM   #2 
  - Once got so angry at a pastor (gone now) who said that when women  efhmc   Jun-08-05 10:04 AM   #5 
  - Definitely Agree.  merh   Jun-08-05 10:02 AM   #4 
  - Sad about that. I sort of started the brouhaha about "bitch-slap" which I  efhmc   Jun-08-05 10:07 AM   #6 
     - Thanks for the empathy.  merh   Jun-08-05 10:29 AM   #10 
        - I can tell almost within a sentence worth if a reply is agressive,  efhmc   Jun-08-05 10:33 AM   #13 
  - Anti-feminism? Yep. Misogyny? Yep. Sexism? Yep.  BlueIris   Jun-08-05 10:20 AM   #8 
  - Responding to those posts seems to get one absolutely nowhere, but  efhmc   Jun-08-05 10:28 AM   #9 
     - Oh, I CANNOT stand the "I was JUST kidding" justification for  BlueIris   Jun-08-05 10:44 AM   #15 
     - Whassamatter, honey, cantcha take a joke?  Eloriel   Jun-08-05 01:42 PM   #22 
        - I think that is a brilliant idea. Also, alert members when very blatant  efhmc   Jun-08-05 02:29 PM   #36 
        - Almost nothing offends me as much  geniph   Jun-08-05 03:03 PM   #42 
        - So we go into those threads with fake male persona?  efhmc   Jun-08-05 03:09 PM   #44 
        - It's crossed my mind  geniph   Jun-08-05 03:55 PM   #49 
           - Will you be bold and wild, macho and jerky, kind and thoughtful? What  efhmc   Jun-08-05 07:25 PM   #53 
        - Going "Undercover"  Chovexani   Jun-08-05 07:37 PM   #54 
           - Are these people Neanderthals or is it just the anonymity that makes  efhmc   Jun-08-05 07:45 PM   #55 
              - I think it's a little bit of both  Chovexani   Jun-10-05 04:10 PM   #89 
                 - Yup, keyboard commandos only.  geniph   Jun-10-05 04:36 PM   #91 
        - That's a brilliant idea.  LisaLynne   Jun-09-05 08:49 PM   #67 
     - They just don't understand that its offensive...  UCLA Dem   Jun-09-05 03:39 PM   #60 
  - I'm not sure, but someone I discussed this with  redqueen   Jun-08-05 10:29 AM   #11 
  - That makes sense but I am not so sure that we are going forward.  efhmc   Jun-08-05 10:37 AM   #14 
  - True, but those are older women.  redqueen   Jun-08-05 10:49 AM   #16 
  - Hope you are right but I do not see it in the young women that much  efhmc   Jun-08-05 11:07 AM   #17 
     - Oh well I'm just passing on the opinions of someone else.  redqueen   Jun-08-05 11:15 AM   #18 
        - In general, women become less conservative as they get older  geniph   Jun-08-05 03:06 PM   #43 
        - Once my sister, told me that she had never been treated as less as a  efhmc   Jun-08-05 03:11 PM   #45 
        - it's not just younger women  noiretblu   Jun-10-05 05:31 PM   #96 
  - I strongly recommend "Backlash" by Susan Faludi.  spooky3   Jun-08-05 05:01 PM   #50 
  - Yes, Faludi had a huge book about's called Backlash.  Ripley   Jun-08-05 01:00 PM   #19 
     - That was a great book!  MuseRider   Jun-08-05 01:17 PM   #20 
     - I do "get it"  Finder   Jun-08-05 01:44 PM   #23 
     - Ah, yes, Patriarchy's women, such as Coulter, Schlaffly,  Eloriel   Jun-08-05 01:53 PM   #26 
        - That is a powerful book.  Chovexani   Jun-08-05 02:27 PM   #35 
        - Why do they do this?  Maat   Jun-18-05 10:14 PM   #116 
        - Thanks  MuseRider   Jun-08-05 03:30 PM   #47 
     - Faludi lost me with "Stiffed." And I mean LOST me, people.  BlueIris   Jun-08-05 01:33 PM   #21 
     - I would love to hear your reasoning  Finder   Jun-08-05 02:32 PM   #38 
     - Ripley!!!!!!!!!!  lukasahero   Jun-08-05 01:47 PM   #24 
     - Lukasahero!!!!!  Ripley   Jun-08-05 02:06 PM   #30 
        - Cool, isn't it?  lukasahero   Jun-08-05 03:00 PM   #40 
     - You are so right. The undercurrent is always there just waiting for its  efhmc   Jun-08-05 02:14 PM   #31 
     - oops, I just saw your post as soon as I made my post!  spooky3   Jun-08-05 05:01 PM   #51 
  - It's everywhere, not just on DU  RadFemFL   Jun-08-05 01:47 PM   #25 
  - I'm so sorry Rad  lukasahero   Jun-08-05 01:57 PM   #27 
  - One thing we can do is post links here so we can support one  Eloriel   Jun-08-05 02:00 PM   #28 
  - Some of those posts were just despicable.  Bunny   Jun-08-05 02:03 PM   #29 
  - If there ever was a straight line back to my question about bias on  efhmc   Jun-08-05 02:27 PM   #34 
     - Amen.  Bunny   Jun-08-05 02:30 PM   #37 
  - That thread made me sick to my stomach  Chovexani   Jun-08-05 02:15 PM   #32 
  - So, so sorry, sug, Please, please go for some help at a rape crisis  efhmc   Jun-08-05 02:24 PM   #33 
  - Rad, call your local Rape crisis center even if just to talk to someone  Generic Other   Jun-08-05 06:00 PM   #52 
  - I'm so sorry...  redqueen   Jun-09-05 10:03 AM   #56 
  - The people who doubted that that was rape  geniph   Jun-09-05 12:23 PM   #57 
  - I'm so sorry. All my thought and prayers are with you. I hope that you  UCLA Dem   Jun-09-05 03:46 PM   #61 
  - If its any consolation  Demgirl   Jun-09-05 03:55 PM   #62 
  - I think so too.  Senior citizen   Jun-11-05 03:36 PM   #106 
  - Hugs to you  mogster   Jun-09-05 04:06 PM   #63 
  - Holy shit, sorry.  Misunderestimator   Jun-10-05 10:07 AM   #75 
  - same thing happened to one of my friends  nothingshocksmeanymore   Jun-10-05 05:07 PM   #93 
  - I Am So Sorry  DoveTurnedHawk   Jun-11-05 11:53 AM   #102 
  - So sorry to hear that happened to you ... and that you then got  atommom   Jun-11-05 12:24 PM   #103 
  - I hate this.  sfexpat2000   Jun-13-05 04:18 AM   #108 
  - You're going to see that anywhere on the Internet  geniph   Jun-08-05 02:51 PM   #39 
  - When ever I get that argument about "female" behavior used to  efhmc   Jun-08-05 03:02 PM   #41 
  - Geniph  ccbombs   Jun-08-05 03:17 PM   #46 
     - I really like your advise but I srongly doubt that it will be heeded  efhmc   Jun-08-05 03:30 PM   #48 
     - I agree with you...  geniph   Jun-09-05 12:26 PM   #58 
     - 'The real man haters are the so-called traditional women"  Lydia Leftcoast   Jun-17-05 10:57 PM   #113 
  - I've seen a lot of insults towards repukes that demeans women...  UCLA Dem   Jun-09-05 03:36 PM   #59 
  - How about "bitch-slap"?  A-Schwarzenegger   Jun-09-05 04:34 PM   #64 
  - Thats exactly what I'm talking about.  UCLA Dem   Jun-09-05 04:43 PM   #66 
  - I absolutely despise that term almost as much as I do bush. It seems  efhmc   Jun-10-05 11:52 AM   #83 
  - how ridiculous that that's the logic behind allowing "bitch-slap" here  chicaloca   Jun-10-05 05:26 PM   #95 
  - It makes me see red every time I hear a joke like  geniph   Jun-09-05 04:39 PM   #65 
     - Those "jokes" are totally demeaning. Imagine being allowed to tell a  efhmc   Jun-10-05 11:50 AM   #82 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Jun-09-05 10:31 PM   #68 
  - ....  Kathy in Cambridge   Jun-09-05 11:11 PM   #69 
  - nevermind  beam me up scottie   Jun-10-05 07:55 AM   #71 
  - I believe the question was  beam me up scottie   Jun-10-05 08:00 AM   #72 
  - Yes, that is an important point that bears repeating:  Bunny   Jun-10-05 08:54 AM   #73 
  - Did you mean to post this on this thread? In this forum?  Misunderestimator   Jun-10-05 09:04 AM   #74 
  - The DU fashion police wear me down  lwfern   Jun-10-05 07:43 AM   #70 
  - I so agree with you on this. Women and fashion can they ever be  efhmc   Jun-10-05 11:42 AM   #80 
  - There Is a Lot of Anti-Feminism on DU, and Not All of It From Disruptors  DoveTurnedHawk   Jun-10-05 10:09 AM   #76 
  - DTH  Misunderestimator   Jun-10-05 10:10 AM   #77 
  - Aww  DoveTurnedHawk   Jun-11-05 11:50 AM   #99 
  - Great post  lukasahero   Jun-10-05 10:34 AM   #78 
  - Wow  Finder   Jun-10-05 11:11 AM   #79 
  - There Are a Lot of Problem Threads Lately  DoveTurnedHawk   Jun-11-05 11:51 AM   #100 
     - Just start a thread with the word "feminism"  beam me up scottie   Jun-11-05 01:04 PM   #104 
  - I was utterly AMAZED when I came to this "liberal" site and saw all the  efhmc   Jun-10-05 11:46 AM   #81 
  - Simple answer...  VelmaD   Jun-10-05 11:56 AM   #84 
     - I'm not sure it's that simple  lukasahero   Jun-10-05 12:23 PM   #85 
     - I think a few are too paranoid  Finder   Jun-10-05 12:36 PM   #86 
        - A few of who are too paranoid?  lukasahero   Jun-10-05 01:32 PM   #87 
        - Some on both sides  Finder   Jun-10-05 01:51 PM   #88 
           - i think some of that does happen  noiretblu   Jun-10-05 05:42 PM   #97 
        - Like upper body strength is a prerequisite for practicing law?  Senior citizen   Jun-11-05 05:16 PM   #107 
           - well put!  FizzFuzz   Jun-13-05 09:08 AM   #110 
     - this brings me to the question that I go back to again and again  FizzFuzz   Jun-11-05 03:19 PM   #105 
        - I agree. n/t  sfexpat2000   Jun-13-05 04:28 AM   #109 
  - Just one more reason to love and appreciate you, D  nothingshocksmeanymore   Jun-10-05 05:08 PM   #94 
     - Thanks T  DoveTurnedHawk   Jun-11-05 11:52 AM   #101 
  - My personal pet peeve  Chovexani   Jun-10-05 04:23 PM   #90 
  - I can't abide that loathsome creature,  geniph   Jun-10-05 04:40 PM   #92 
     - That gets on my nerves too  Chovexani   Jun-10-05 09:00 PM   #98 
        - Last time I saw that club used was on DU.  Senior citizen   Jun-13-05 10:43 AM   #111 
           - To me those words go across the board and effect all women even  efhmc   Jun-14-05 08:08 PM   #112 
  - Yes, most definitely.  Cerridwen   Jun-18-05 02:13 PM   #114 
     - Well, that really deserves a thread of its own. How about posting anew  efhmc   Jun-18-05 05:47 PM   #115 

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