My brush with menopause story.

[The Backlash Cometh]

Okay, so I took the blood test sometime in my late forties. Maybe 48 or 49. And according to the test, I was in menopause. Never again to experience another period and it was fine by me. But if this story says anything, it says not to trust those tests because, when it comes to old age, nothing is linear. It's more like a roller coaster that has ups and downs, and maybe a little bit of reverse.

I don't know what to attribute it to, but about a year and a half to two years after "the test" I experienced some spotting. It was minor and I ignored it temporarily because I was having a busy month and didn't have time to make an appointment. Besides, I had just finished elective dentist work and wasn't looking forward to another doctor's visit.

So, in the month prior, I had silver fillings removed and replaced, and a few weeks prior I had gone on a cruise with an elder family member (free of hubby and kids to worry about) and really relaxed for the first time in a long time, exercised well and ate even better.

Then I came back home and within a few weeks, I experienced all the symptoms of a period, though only mild bleeding. So I rushed to my doctor and he went through the scenarios. What really scared me a bit was how sure he was that I couldn't be having a normal period because the tests said I was done, finito, in that department. And he nonchalantly discussed the options. Fibroids could cause bleeding, possibly uterine cancer can too, and if bad enough, possibly a hysterectomy was in order. So I went to a referred doctor.

The test, hurt like hell. Imagine pushing a needle inside the uterus to get a scraping. That test came in ok, but the sonogram was iffy, according to the specialist. Something about different coloration, so another kind of test was recommended. Through this all I pleaded, explaining how my whole body seemed to be responding well since I had the silver amalgams removed, and followed by a cruise where I really left behind a lot of stress that I had been carrying around for too long. But, they suggested another test, a sonogram of the uterus, except this time, water is injected into the uterus to ensure that there are no fibroids growing into the uterus, causing the bleeding.

That test was put off for two weeks and I did everything I could to get it out of my mind. When the test day came, I thought I was ready for it, but I wasn't. Ladies, I am ashamed to say that Phil Gram was spot on. I whined. I think it was because I didn't know how quickly the pain would be over once they stopped squirting in the fluid. But there was pain, and lots of it. I think I repeated the words, "It hurts, it hurts." and I felt guilty for saying it because there was a trainee in the room and I felt like I wasn't doing my part. It felt like the damn thing was about to burst and the doctor kept telling the trainee to keep going. I insisted that she had stretched it as far as it would go and when the doctor said in a calm voice, that it was designed to stretch large enough to hold a baby, I think it was at that point that I felt my uterus had been water boarded and I had reached my limit.

Well, apparently they had inserted enough in to do the test and they discovered the uterus was completely normal. The doctor had to accept, then, that I was again having normal periods.

Anyway, I wasn't angry about the ordeals, because I'm glad the doctors took the necessary precautions. Just that, I hope there is some way for someone to discover a way to numb up the uterus the way they Novocaine a tooth before I have to go through that ordeal again.