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My Husband is a Lying Sack of Crap [View All]

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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:41 AM
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My Husband is a Lying Sack of Crap
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Hi dear EDV's and the men who love us.

Three weeks ago my husband told me he wants a divorce. It came out of the blue - I had no idea that he was thinking about this. He has refused to seek counseling, and said he just needed space to think things through. I asked if there was someone else, and he said no. He moved some of his things out, saying he needed a few weeks to be by himself.
Since that time, I have discovered that he has been seeing somebody else. He was seen, at work, in a full lip-lock with another woman, who had her hands all over him. The source who told me is impeccable. I confronted him at his workplace, slapped his face and called him a lying, cheating bastard. I demanded that he move all his shit out of our apartment. He got the rest of his stuff on Saturday, while 2 of my friends were here with me. He has returned the keys, and I am having the locks changed.

Obviously, I am devistated. The depth of the betrayal is beyond anything I have ever gone through. I can tolerate a lot of things, but not adultery. I will NEVER be able to trust him again... that is gone forever. And if you don't have trust, you don't have a marriage.

I am surrounded by good people who love me, both friends, family, and church family. Yesterday was very healing, as the pastor made my announcement for me during prayer time that "Ruth's marriage is coming to an end." The outpouring of love lifted me higher than my grief and pain, if only for a few moments; but I know that I will survive. I have suffered a lot of things in my life, but through it all, God has been, and will continue to be faithful to me. I will never be "alone." And I have a lot of love to share with the whole world. NOTHING can kill love (I'm pretty sure that's in the Bible somewhere); and yes, a part of me will always love Andy. He is in my heart, and I pray for him every day, all day long. But I cannot live with someone who is a compulsive gambler (he gambled away all our wedding money, and has stolen money from me) and a pathological liar. I do not recognize the man he is today: codependent, addictive, sociopathic, detached and narcissistic.

I have returned to seeing my counselor in Green Bay... it's easier to travel and pick up where we left off than to have to rehash all the crap from before. I told her "I've realized my worst fears: my parents are dead, my husband has left me, and I am all alone... and yet, I'm still here." She added, "And... Orange Cat came home."

Thanks for letting me spill my guts. I love you guys, and miss you terribly. My cable doesn't carry Current, so I am Keith-less. Berry, please let KO know that I'm back on the market, but won't be available for a year. If he's willing to wait for me, so am I. :)

Ruth
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  -My Husband is a Lying Sack of Crap RevCheesehead  Sep-05-11 10:41 AM   #0 
  - Did I ever tell you that you are my Fave?  Botany   Sep-05-11 12:32 PM   #1 
  - love you, Tom.  RevCheesehead   Sep-13-11 06:32 PM   #9 
  - Hi sister.  bleever   Sep-05-11 02:21 PM   #2 
  - Love you, bleev.  RevCheesehead   Sep-13-11 06:32 PM   #10 
  - nan nan boo boo Rev loves me more than you  Botany   Sep-13-11 10:14 PM   #15 
     - Yes I do!  RevCheesehead   Sep-17-11 10:49 PM   #17 
        - Hey wait a minute....  RevCheesehead   Sep-17-11 10:50 PM   #18 
           - I bet Bot would be willing to put the tool belt on,  bleever   Sep-19-11 07:14 PM   #19 
              - please --- NO COWBOYS!!  RevCheesehead   Sep-21-11 11:00 PM   #22 
                 - To guard against bad cowboys I will send you a Bay Air  Botany   Sep-22-11 08:17 AM   #25 
                    - I'll take him!  RevCheesehead   Oct-04-11 10:04 AM   #28 
                       - P.M. me an address and a Bay Air is on his way  Botany   Oct-04-11 10:41 PM   #32 
  - Sometimes life just sucks  CC   Sep-05-11 03:11 PM   #3 
  - when she said that, I immediately thought of you!  RevCheesehead   Sep-13-11 06:33 PM   #11 
  - Oh, shit.  Patsy Stone   Sep-06-11 11:48 AM   #4 
  - Thanks for the affirmations.  RevCheesehead   Sep-13-11 06:35 PM   #12 
  - Oh Rev...  GigiMommy   Sep-06-11 07:16 PM   #5 
  - I love you too, Geela.  RevCheesehead   Sep-13-11 06:36 PM   #13 
  - Rev, I'm so sorry  SharonRB   Sep-06-11 07:29 PM   #6 
  - Thanks, Sharon.  RevCheesehead   Sep-13-11 06:37 PM   #14 
     - Love you, too, Ruth  SharonRB   Sep-15-11 09:13 PM   #16 
  - Oh, dear God.  RavensChick   Sep-10-11 12:03 AM   #7 
  - Thank you so much for this, RC.  RevCheesehead   Sep-13-11 06:31 PM   #8 
  - Some words from one of the great minds of our time:  bleever   Sep-19-11 08:31 PM   #20 
  - Oh, bleev...  RevCheesehead   Sep-21-11 11:01 PM   #23 
  - Oh Ruth, I am so sorry  SeattleGirl   Sep-21-11 12:19 PM   #21 
  - I love you too, R.  RevCheesehead   Sep-21-11 11:02 PM   #24 
  - Oh God, Rev, I am so sorry!!  WolverineDG   Sep-22-11 11:59 AM   #26 
  - Thanks, Wuffie.  RevCheesehead   Oct-04-11 10:05 AM   #29 
  - I am so sorry you were betrayed by the man you love.  yellerpup   Sep-26-11 08:48 PM   #27 
  - Thanks so much, yellerpup.  RevCheesehead   Oct-04-11 10:08 AM   #30 
  - Just talked with the Rev today.  Berry Cool   Oct-04-11 05:07 PM   #31 
  - I still have some giftcards to Monty's  RevCheesehead   Oct-06-11 03:49 PM   #33 
  - It's a crazy world  bleever   Oct-07-11 01:20 PM   #34 
  - nice to see that you own a "Kitler"  Botany   Oct-07-11 06:38 PM   #35 
  - ....  RevCheesehead   Oct-08-11 02:47 PM   #37 
  - Welcome, Tiger Lily!!  RevCheesehead   Oct-08-11 02:47 PM   #36 
     - I found the mouse  bleever   Oct-08-11 05:26 PM   #38 
        - So far, the men in my life have not let me down....  RevCheesehead   Oct-10-11 11:47 AM   #39 
           - what REAL men are made of .....  Botany   Oct-14-11 07:33 PM   #40 
              - I keep looking for the Facebook "Like" button!  RevCheesehead   Dec-09-11 11:05 AM   #42 
  - Sending you hugs  merh   Nov-08-11 10:47 AM   #41 
     - back at'cha!  RevCheesehead   Dec-09-11 11:05 AM   #43 
 

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