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Separating but not yet separated. [View All]

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Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Support Groups » Coping with Divorce or Separation Group Donate to DU
kiraboo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-25-06 07:25 PM
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Separating but not yet separated.
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I can't understand why I must leave him. At first it was clear because I thought there was somewhere I had to go. But months have passed and I have had to accept the painful reality that I am moving on alone. At times the terror I feel - at night in my own bed, or while opening the door to the house that will soon be not ours, while kissing my smallest son on his forehead after tucking him snugly into bed - it takes me aback with its sheer strength. The activities which once gave me pleasure have been abandoned because I haven't the will nor the energy to be happy. I am using all my resources just holding on to the idea that tomorrow it will be a little easier and next week yet easier, but still my doubts are nearly overpowering. And I'm so lonely. Surrounded by my children and the husband I have rejected, I have never felt as isolated as I do now.

Sometimes it seems I should stay just to avoid all of this pain.
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