Left 4 Dead: Will make your sex organs stronger, faster, fiercer (NSF56K ZOMG IMAGES)

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SO WTF IS THIS "LEFT 4 DEAD"?

"Left 4 Dead" is Valve's zombie apocalypse game. It's built in the spirit of every good zombie horror film out there; it takes heavily from such modern adaptations such as "Dawn of the Dead", "Resident Evil", and "28 Days/Weeks Later".

In "Left 4 Dead", you play either one of four immune survivors, or one of four zombie bosses.

THE SURVIVORS:



FRANCIS



Francis hates everything except the Zombie Apocalypse. Francis rebelled against his foofoo French name by becoming a badass multiple felon. His crimes include armed robbery, assault with intent to commit bodily harm, and Fucking Up A Judge. His favorite activity? Debraining zombies.

BILL



A former Vietnam veteran, Bill has been awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse ever since his first hit of LSD. Bill is "trained" in military tactics, which for him included copious amounts of cannabis. Serious, dedicated, and reliable, Bill represents the only military presence among the Survivors, and perhaps the only real leadership among the immune survivors.

ZOEY



Following her boyfriend being voted off her island, Zoey embarked upon a solo life pursuing a degree in human psychology. Alone and distraught, Zoey was about to take a bath in warm water and razor blades just before the infection revealed itself. Now an immune survivor, Zoey seeks to kill as many infected as she can on her way to safety.

LOUIS



In spite of his boring office job, Louis has an adventurous streak, and loves to spend his days off at the gun range near his apartment. Despite his cool, clean appearance, Louis is a top-ranked marksman in the state, and prides himself upon the 'headshots' he scores on his range targets. Nevertheless, Louis prefers to avoid physical confrontations, which make the zombie apocalypse all the harder for him to deal with.

THE ZOMBIE BOSSES

THE BOOMER



The Boomer boss is bloated because of the gases produced by his own decomposition. Only a few shots will cause him to burst, spewing his bile upon anyone nearby, which will summon a zombie horde. The Boomer can also vomit upon the survivors and accomplish the same thing. Boomers can be controlled by opposing players.

THE HUNTER



The Hunter is able to leap over long distances, and tears the face off his target. Like the other infected bosses, a solid few shots will remove him as a threat. However, his ability to leap from rooftops and out from dark hallways makes him a menace to constantly be aware of.

THE SMOKER



The Smoker's 30' tongue makes him a force to be reckoned with. Easy to kill, the Smoker can nonetheless take the trailing member of your group out of commission.

THE WITCH



Beware the Witch. Immobile and uncontrolled by other players, the Witch is an AI beast which will wait for you to screw up. She's always hidden and always dangerous. Listen for her sobbing and shut off your light is you hear her- the Witch is far more dangerous than her immobile form appears.

THE TANK



TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNK!

Enough said.

THE MODES:

CO-OP: Not hard to figure out. Evade/kill the AI zombies amongst three of your friends (or bots) and beat the campaign by leaving in the final survival vehicle.

VS: (FAR more fun than Co-op): Play each map twice, as a survivor AND as an infected boss. Ambush your enemies/friends, jump on them, tongue them, puke on them, and in general grief team player in a whole new way.

So what's the verdict?

Go to YouTube and watch a few Left 4 Dead games if you think it's not for you. Personally, I'd say that Valve's "Left 4 Dead" is among one of the best games of the year, and certainly worth a look for anyone who is into zombie horror flicks. With five increasingly difficult maps per scenario, and plenty more on the way via the L4D SDK, "Left 4 Dead" is, it seems to me, here to stay as a classic zombie apocalypse survival game, and is definitely worth the price of admission.