Hello, I'm new here.

[one_true_leroy]

I offer supraholistic chakra realignment, pet aura analysis (specializing with llamas and ferrets), bioenergetic crystallography awakening ceremonies, third eye exams, and necromaniacal communions. I sell bottles of my tears mixed with Druid herbs for healing acne and depression, my sweat is a potent love salve when mixed with the dirt from under a bridge gathered on the first full moon of the Mayan third month, and the swirls of hair on my head has been used to predict the future.

I am an ordained guru of the HiyaHiyaYumYum discipline, an initiate in the Most Ancient and High Order of Templarian Rosicrutiates (Eastern Rite), and a 7th degree priest in the Egyptodruidian Elusthrian Isisian Shrine.

Oh, and for the ladies, my mastery of the Tantrical arts has led me to the discovery of three new yonic areas, two of them found only in the astral plane, where I hid them to prevent their abuse by the reptilian deceptikors.

And my morning after waffles are divine.