Reply #19: I don't really view LUST as shameful.

[davsand]

Sex drive is a primal one and with that in mind I doubt there's much wrong with feeling lustful. I think the issue of judgment comes into play if the desire is manifested in ways that are problematic--like acting illicitly outside of an agreed monogamous relationship or with someone who has an inability to make informed consent.

I honestly think that a lot of women have non-consent fantasies because our culture teaches us that sex is not "nice" somehow for women. We are taught beginning in childhood that sex is for making babies and for "not nice" girls. For a lot of women, the only (mental) respite they have from either a partner, or a lack of a partner is in fantasy--and even THAT respite is a guilty one. If it is a matter of being (mentally) "swept away" or possibly even (mentally) forced they can relax and enjoy the ride rather than feeling guilt for it.

I doubt very much that too many women WANT to be raped. I think that many women want to be having some kind of sex that is outside the norm for them and that the non-consent fantasy is a way to give ourselves permission to step outside the every day stuff.

Sex magic, as I understand it, is a matter of using the sex act to focus energies and then release them when they have peaked. The sex itself isn't the thing so much as the focused thought (or energy) you put out at the moment of climax. If you stop to think about how many ritual magics work (including prayer!) it is a matter of raising energy and then releasing it in a directed target or idea. Sex magic is just one more avenue to help with focus...

I doubt highly that most of us are sending too much negative energy out there when we are at the "moment of truth." I wouldn't worry too much about how you GET there, and I wouldn't feel too guilty for it either.

Just my two cents.



Laura