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Reply #20: Disillusioned, [View All]

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Pallas180 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-26-04 09:05 AM
Response to Reply #18
20. Disillusioned,
I don;t know if you belong to a religious group or not,
but Monday get on the phone and call your local church, synagogue or
whatever and ask if they have a women's group that has meetings.

If you call Unity (get info at 1 800 555 1212) they will say prayers for you and with you.

If there is a Religious science or Science of Mind church around (non sectarian) they have trained people they call "practitioners" who you can talk to, and who will have some positive words for you. It costs nothing if you can afford nothing - or $10 if you can. They also have a woman's group that meets once a week usually, for free.

You've been going to a counselor so I would get on the phone with that person and ask where there is a group for abused women.You'll find in-person support there among women in the same situation.

Although your "rat" took off on Xmas day, it is not uncommon for breakups to happen around the holidays - so you're not alone.

The next thing you need to do starting sometime this week, is to say to yourself "I forgive him and release him to his highest good" and "I forgive myself and release myself to my highest good".

May not be true at this moment, but the words have power, and it will become true - the necessity to say it is to keep YOU from becoming ill.

Finally, if you're in a little boat with another person, and only one person is rowing - not much progress can be made - so don't blame yourself - in fact it sounds like you were doing everything you could to save what may have been an untenable situation - sometimes there's a time to give up, and move on. With breakups and divorces, the person who was trying to work at it, often feels guilt that they failed. YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL GUILT. Know that you did what you could and you didn't get coopertion, so it's not your failure.

From a woman's point of view, men can be very strange ducks.

I have a friend who I've known for 30 years. I always thought she had a great marriage. Never heard them argue or raise voices once.
They had been marrried for 50 years and had three grown children and many grandchildren.

She went away on a trip to Europe, which her husband didn't want to go
to. She was away for 10 days. When she got home, all his clothes and belongings were gone, but after 50 years he had the courage to leave her a note.

He left her for a man - after 50 years he had decided he was gay. (and she didn't have a clue. So think about that.

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  -My husband left me this morning-please help me disillusioned1  Dec-24-04 10:48 AM   #0 
  - oh no! I'm so sorry what a horrible shock on the holidays  AZDemDist6   Dec-24-04 11:22 AM   #1 
  - Thank you. eom  disillusioned1   Dec-24-04 12:16 PM   #3 
  - Thank you for the PM, AZDem  disillusioned1   Dec-28-04 01:24 PM   #23 
     - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger  AZDemDist6   Dec-28-04 04:27 PM   #24 
  - My heartfelt sympathies, disillusioned1.  Delphinus   Dec-24-04 11:43 AM   #2 
  - Thanks eom  disillusioned1   Dec-24-04 12:17 PM   #4 
  - I am so sorry.  jrthin   Dec-24-04 12:27 PM   #5 
  - What a terrible time for him to leave you!  latebloomer   Dec-24-04 01:45 PM   #6 
  - Thank you for responding  disillusioned1   Dec-24-04 02:29 PM   #7 
  - I can't give you any astrological information  LWolf   Dec-24-04 04:38 PM   #8 
  - Thank you eom  disillusioned1   Dec-24-04 04:59 PM   #9 
  - You might want to speak with an attorney  Digit   Dec-24-04 05:14 PM   #10 
  - Thank you  disillusioned1   Dec-24-04 05:20 PM   #11 
     - Only the attorneys win when there is a fight  Digit   Dec-24-04 06:08 PM   #13 
  - I'm sorry for your loss... :( How long were you married? ro..  propagandafreegal   Dec-24-04 05:52 PM   #12 
  - I am so sorry to hear what you are going thru..  cassiepriam   Dec-24-04 06:11 PM   #14 
  - All good advice  disillusioned1   Dec-24-04 07:40 PM   #15 
  - Disillusioned - all excellent advice from the DU'ers. What you need  Pallas180   Dec-24-04 10:51 PM   #16 
  - I'm on hold right now with the credit card company  disillusioned1   Dec-25-04 08:46 AM   #17 
  - very sensible advice, that is.  NuttyFluffers   Dec-25-04 09:49 PM   #19 
  - no real advice but..  G_j   Dec-25-04 08:56 AM   #18 
  - Disillusioned,  Pallas180   Dec-26-04 09:05 AM   #20 
  - Hope you are hanging in there....  silverlib   Dec-27-04 02:35 PM   #21 
  - See a Dr. too  mrgorth   Dec-27-04 03:15 PM   #22 
  - I'm hanging in there  disillusioned1   Dec-30-04 08:25 AM   #25 
     - I went thru a divorce almost 30 years ago...and rest assured  onecent   Dec-31-04 04:52 PM   #26 

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