Reply #89: I'm sorry....

[OneGrassRoot]

I'm so sorry your heart is hurting, FirstLight. All we can do is hold your hand and send our love.

:grouphug:

I wish we could switch places in a way, as far as how we feel. I had a trauma occur, actually 18 years ago tomorrow, which started off with me really dreading this time of year, not wanting to fake it as you say you have to do for the kids.

I gradually developed my own ritual as others' schedules changed, and for the last probably 10 years, I find myself completely alone for the holidays and I LOVE IT! Love it, love it, love it! :)

It's "me" time. So I once again look forward to this time of year, once my "alone" part comes. ;)

Maybe something will shift for you as well, so that regardless of what's happening externally as far as relationships are concerned, you can find your "me" space and celebrate you during your most special time. It's hard though, I grant you that, especially with such a powerful birthday in the mix.

More :hug: :hug: :hug: