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Reply #227: Another male's perspective (for what it's worth): [View All]

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RandomKoolzip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-18-09 12:47 AM
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227. Another male's perspective (for what it's worth):
My girlfriend, who is significantly younger than me, and who considers herself a feminist, insists on shaving her leg hair and her armpits. I have told her many, many times that I do not expect her to do this, that it's okay to just be natural, that I think she's the most beautiful first thing in the morning (i.e no makeup), that whatever she chooses to do with her body is her choice. Yet she thinks that I'll be "grossed out" if she doesn't shave her legs and pits and put on makeup. Like I said, I've told her time and again that it doesn't bother me. Finally, last week, she told me that she'll continue to do it because it grosses HER out. Whether or not her body image is psychologically shaped and/or determined in some fundamental way by our patriarchal culture's collective notions of gender (and age), it's HER CHOICE to trim, shave, or let her freak flag fly. And that's fine with me - it's HEr happiness that matters in the end.

I've dated women before who didn't shave their body hair, and it didn't bother me. Hell, as long as she's got a good heart and we can laugh at "CSI:Miami" together, then whatever she wants to do with her body is none of my business.

As far as cunnilingus is concerned, some hair in my teeth is a small price to pay to be able to give her pleasure (it's fun for me, too, of course!) Hair down there doesn't bother me. Thankfully, she's not concerned about pubic hairiness - just her pits and legs (and a brow tweeze now and again). Maybe, as she gets older, she'll begin to lose some of the impulse to constantly un-naturalize herself, to shed some of the cultural pressures that travel with youth and beauty (she IS beautiful, by most standards).

Frankly, as long as she loves me, I have no right determining her habits or the conditions of her body; if you love someone, set him/her free, right?

Interesting discussion thread.
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